Seeing Double
by stanaticfanatic
Summary: AU. Kate Beckett has a secret, and that 'secret' is coming to town - what happens when she arrives, especially given that even Castle doesn't know who she is? NOW M RATED FROM CHAPTER 25.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: I know, I know - I'm a nightmare. Yes, I'm starting another story. BUT Wedding Speeches is now complete and Trained to Kill will be finished in the next couple of days as I only have one more chapter to write. This idea literally just came to me and I got so excited that I HAD to write the first chapter. I'm not sure how long it'll be yet, guess it depends if you guys like it!_**

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**Summary: AU. Kate Beckett has a secret. And that 'secret' is coming to town. When Kate and her 'secret' devise a plan, all sorts of things could happen - especially when the subject of their plan is the one and only Richard Castle.**

**Timing: probably mid-end S4, but before Always.**

Kate's phone beeped, alerting her to a new text message. Pulling it out, she unlocked her cell and read the message: "My flight gets in at 1pm your time on Friday - that's three days from now, in case you'd forgotten. I expect to see you there with a welcoming party of some sort - can't wait to see you! Xox" Kate smiled before sending a text back saying that she would be there on time and waiting. Putting her cell back in her pocket she bit her lip, contemplating on how she was going to handle this situation.

The thing was, Beckett had a secret. A huge secret, even Castle didn't know. The only person who knew was her dad and that was for obvious reasons - Katherine Beckett had a twin sister. An _identical_ twin sister, seriously, unless you knew either of them inside out, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between them by looking at them. However when it came to their personalities, they were the complete opposite. Where Kate was fairly quiet and reserved, her twin was loud and boisterous. Kate had trouble putting her feelings into words - or actions - something which her sister had no problem with doing. They were literally like chalk and cheese.

Kate hadn't seen Charlie - short for Charlotte - in almost five years. Charlie was an English teacher to children in third world countries. She'd moved to London after finishing her degree and spent three years working in a boarding school over there before heading to countries such as Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand.

The last time they'd seen each other was when Kate was sending her other half off to England and they hadn't spoken much since. They had been inseparable as kids but when their mother died, they'd taken it in different ways. Where Kate had thrown herself into the investigation and joining the force, Charlie had let bygones be bygones and accepted the fact they nothing they did would bring their mother back. At first, it had caused huge arguments between them but they finally accepted to not bring it up around the other - it had never been the same though. However, with Charlie having been gone for five years and the two of them hardly talking in that time, Kate felt like it was time to see her sister again. They'd sent a couple of emails back and forth a couple of times a year - their birthday, moms birthday and anniversary, but apart from that - nothing. They had a lot of catching up to do when Charlie got home.

She hadn't said how long she would be back for but Kate was hoping to convince her to stay for good. She'd missed her and wanted her home and safe, she could teach English here, with her experience she'd get a job anywhere.

Kate's other problem right now was how she was going to tell Castle - he'd based a character on her, knew pretty much everything about her moms murder, spent day after day at her side and yet he didn't know she had an identical twin. That was going to be a fun conversation.

* * *

Unfortunately, Kate never got the opportunity to tell Castle about Charlie. They had three bodies drop within five hours and what had first seemed like three separate homicides, had all ended up being connected. It had been Castle that had made the connection - much to the disbelief and slight annoyance of Captain Gates, she really didn't like him.

So here they were, their suspect had just lawyered up - quite likely suggesting he was guilty. They were just waiting for the lawyer to arrive so they could interview him again when an officer from downstairs called out to Kate.

"Yo, Beckett, I've got a Charlie downstairs, said you should know her and that you were supposed to meet her?"

_Crap_. Kate looked at her watch - 2.30pm. On Friday. She was supposed to have picked Charlie up from the airport an hour and a half ago. And_ oh god_ now she was going to have to explain to Castle and the boys what was going on.

Before Kate could respond, the elevator doors opened again and out walked Charlie - and she did _not_ look happy. She strode over to Kate's desk and Castle swung around to see what had Kate looking so worried.

Turning back to her, he said, "either I'm seeing double or that woman is the spitting image of you."

Unfortunately, Charlie heard this. "Spitting image? Of course I am, she's my twin sister."

Castles eyes widened and his mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to get any words out. "Twin..sister?" He said, looking at Beckett. The first one.

Kate nodded. "Uh, yeah. Charlie, this is Richard Castle, my partner. Castle, this is Charlotte, my annoying twin sister."

"It's Charlie, not Charlotte," Beckett two said, holding out her hand for Castle to shake. "Or do you want me to revert to calling you Katherine?"

"My mother calls you Katherine," Castle stated, still looking like he was dreaming or something.

"Yes, and when she does it, it's sweet. But when _Charlotte_ here does it, I know it's to annoy me. When we were younger, it was only ever Katherine if I was in trouble."

"So," Charlie said, sinking into a spare seat next to Kate's desk. "You're _that_ sort of partner, hey?" She assumed when Castle had mentioned his mom calling her Katherine, that they were more than just cop partners.

Kate answered "no," at the same time Castle said "not yet." Charlie watched them in amusement. This was _not_ the same sister she had left behind five years ago and she was willing to bet Castle had had something to do with that. "So I take it from the look on your face right now that this delightful detective didn't tell you she had a sister?"

"No," Castle said, looking to Kate. "She didn't," he arched an eyebrow, waiting for an answer that would make all of this make sense.

"Oh god, I need coffee," Kate grumbled. She checked her watch again - 2:45. Their suspects lawyer still wasn't here yet and she hadn't had lunch. "We're going to Remy's, we can talk there," she announced to Castle and Charlie. She grabbed her things and popped her head into the tech room to tell Espo and Ryan that her and Castle were heading out for an hour for lunch. She didn't tell them about Charlie, she'd do that one person at a time - starting with Castle.

Ten minutes later and the three of them were in a booth at Remy's, having ordered coffee and burgers all around.

"So," Castle said, "you gonna tell me why you failed to mention for the past four years that you have a sister?"

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**_A/N: so I know Beckett having a sister has been done before, but I've got a little something up my sleeve - this 'plan' should make it different when it materialises ;) anyway, please review this chapter - I'm kinda excited about it but that could just be me, please let me know your thoughts and whether I should continue! I know this chapter is pretty short, but I just wanted to see the general response I got before writing longer ones!_**

**_twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: well I've got some great feedback on the first chapter so looks like this story is full steam ahead! And thank you to Larry Holmes who made me realise that 'chalk and cheese' is a british saying - I thought everyone used it! Just means that they're the complete opposite, in case you didn't get it :) and maybe I can work 'thick as two short planks' into it at some point too.._**

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_"So," Castle said, "you gonna tell me why you failed to mention for the past four years that you have a sister?"_

* * *

"Four years?!" Charlie sputtered before Kate could reply to Castle. "You two have been together for _four years_..and we didn't know about each other?"

"We aren't together," Kate replied quickly and she could have sworn she heard Castle mutter "yet" just loud enough for her to hear. She was pretty sure her walls were a messy heap on the ground right now, it wasn't going to take much more before she let him in for good. "We're partners. At work. Castle shadows me on cases."

"Right," Charlie said skeptically, "and the two of you aren't sleeping together?"

"Charlotte Harper Beckett will you grow up?" Kate scolded while Castle just laughed.

Charlie grinned at her sister and said "oh come on, you're not the same person I left behind five years ago, there had to be something to make you like this."

"Like what?" Castle and Kate asked simultaneously and Charlie just smiled at them both. "Happy..full of life..joking about..you haven't been like this since.." She trailed off, not wanting to bring up their mothers murder, especially when she didn't know what Castle knew.

An awkward silence fell and Castle, ever the class clown broke it. "Well, I've been trying to get in her pants for four years now but she's having none of it. Perhaps you could talk some sense into her?"

"Castle," Beckett hissed, "do you really have to tell my sister that?"

"Four years, huh," Charlie interrupted. "You've been waiting four years and you haven't slept with her once?" Castle shook his head and Kate groaned in embarrassment. _Were they really having this conversation? _"So why are you still around? Surely you figured out a long time ago that she isn't going to be easy, so why are you still here?" _Yes, yes they were._

"Castle, you don't have to answer-"

"She's worth it." Was all Castle said, interrupting Kate and Charlie's eyes widened. She was about to press for more when her sister stopped her.

"Okay, so how long are you in town?"

Charlie shrugged, "a month..a year..forever?"

"Really? You're back for good?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," Charlie smiled just as their food arrived. "God I've missed New York burgers," she said as she took a huge bite.

"So, are you going to tell me now why I didn't know you had a sister?" Castle asked. He couldn't believe this was happening, he thought he knew Kate Beckett inside out - apparently not.

Kate was saved from answering by Charlie. "Kate and I have hardly spoken in five years," she said, "I left for England the second I got my degree and I've been teaching there and in developing countries ever since. When our mom died," she heard Kate take in a deep breath, but the look on Castle's face suggested he already knew quite a lot, "we took it different ways."

"Let me guess - while Beckett was using every spare hour as a rookie to break into the files, you put it to one side and accepted it?"

Charlie looked from Castle to her sister. "How..how does he do that?"

Kate shrugged, she was kinda used to him doing things like that now, it was just something Castle did. "First time I met him he figured out someone close to me had died, I was never planning on being a cop and that we didn't have justice for mom."

Charlie looked at Castle, who also shrugged. "Writers intuition?" He suggested and something in Charlie's brain clicked. Writer? Wait..

"Oh my god, you're Richard Castle?" He nodded, feeling a little confused. He thought they'd done the introductions back at the precinct. "As in, _the_ Richard Castle?"

"Er, I'm sure there's other people with my name but if you mean the author, then yes, that is me."

Kate had a feeling she knew where Charlie was going with this and she wasn't sure she was going to like it. "But you're Kate's favourite author!" Charlie blurted out. Oh no, not going to like this at all. "I remember now, she had all of your books..wouldn't put them down, she was obsessed!" _Still am_, Kate added silently. "Wait, if you're an author, what are you doing following my sister around at work?"

"Castle used his friendship with the mayor to talk his way into my team and we haven't been able to get rid of him ever since. Apparently the couple of bestsellers he's produced since have a major part in that too," Kate said.

"Wait, Nikki Heat?" Charlie had read them, another American teacher had brought them over a few months ago and said they were great, so Charlie had given them a try. "_You're_ Nikki Heat?" She asked, eyes narrowing at her sister.

"Apparently so," Kate muttered.

* * *

They finished their lunch, conversation flowing about Charlie's time abroad and what Kate had been up to in the past five years.

"Er, Charlie..where are you staying?" Kate asked, however she had a feeling she already knew the answer.

Charlie smiled sheepishly. "Okay, so you know how I'm your favourite sister?" She began.

"You're my _only_ sister."

"Yes, well..I'm staying at yours."

"Charlieeeee," Beckett groaned, she should have known this would happen.

"Oh come on, Kate, it'll be fun! It'll only be for a few weeks until I can find myself a place and anyway, we have an awful lot of catching up to do," she said, her gaze flittering from her sister to Castle and Kate groaned again. As soon as they were alone tonight, Charlie was going to beg her for information and she'd been the only person Kate could never lie to. This was going to be so much fun..

They paid the bill and headed back to the precinct, just so Beckett could tell the others she was done for the week. She had been planning to finish early today anyway to meet Charlie, so it wouldn't be too much of a problem. The three of them exited the elevator and both Ryan and Esposito did a double take when they saw two Beckett's.

"Er, something you wanna tell us, Beckett?" Ryan asked.

"Guys, this is my twin sister, Charlotte. Charlotte, this is Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan," she sighed, doing the introductions again.

"Charlie," she announced, shooting an evil glare at her sister and shaking the hands of both detectives.

"So uh, wanna tell us why we've never met your sister before?" Espo asked.

"Long story," Beckett muttered. "Anyway, we just came up to tell you we're off, I already cleared it with Gates for me to leave early today, see you Monday?" Castle and Charlie began heading back to the elevator as Kate said goodbye and she didn't miss where Espo's gaze currently was. "Eyes off my sisters ass, Javi," she grumbled. God, her sister had been back all of two hours and she was worn out.

"C'mon Beckett, I'm just appreciating art," Javi replied with a grin.

"Hmm, and what would Lanie think?"

"We aren't..I mean..we're not.." He stuttered and Kate laughed.

"Whatever, see you Monday," she called to them both before following her partner and her sister.

* * *

An hour later and Kate had dropped Castle back at the loft with the promise to call him tonight so they could talk more. She felt bad for not mentioning Charlie before, but like Charlie had said, they'd hardly spoken in five years and they needed to catch up before she spoke to Castle again. They'd got back to her apartment to find Charlie's stuff already here, apparently she knew someone who owed her a favour, and he'd dropped her luggage off.

"So," Charlie began, sinking onto the sofa. "You gonna tell me what the deal is with you and Castle?"

"There is no _deal_, we're partners..friends," Kate said, before looking to her sister to see her looking at her expectantly. "What?" She asked.

"Katie, this is me you're talking to, remember?" Kate sighed at the use of her nickname and sat down next to Charlie on the couch. "I'm your other half, literally. You've never been able to lie to me and I'd never want you to. I know I probably went a bit far earlier with the whole sleeping together thing, but I honestly thought you were together. Why didn't you tell me he was following you?"

"Oh that would have been a nice email, 'hey sis, I hope you're okay today with it being moms birthday. Oh, and by the way my favourite author has been following me around at work as research for his novels. Speak soon!' No, I don't think so," Kate said and Charlie laughed.

"Okay, you've got a point. But don't think I haven't noticed you didn't answer my first question," she reminded her and Kate groaned.

"Well I wasn't lying, we are partners, and we're friends..but.."

"But?" Charlie pressed and Kate knew she wasn't getting out of it.

"He's so much more than that. He's my best friend and I can tell him anything and I know he'll be there for me, no questions asked. He's proved on more than one occasion that he'd do anything for me - he tried to take a bullet for me, Char."

"He..what?" Kate had told her in an email about being shot so that Charlie didn't find out on Facebook or something, but she hadn't said anything about Castle wrestling her to the ground. And what he'd told her.

"Yeah, when I was shot he saw it just a second before. He pushed me to the ground, on top of me but it was too late, I'd already been hit."

Charlie could tell she was still holding something back. "And what else aren't you telling me?"

Kate damned her sister for knowing her so well. "He uh, he told me he loved me," she admitted.

"So the guy has been there for four years, not taking advantage once, tried to take a bullet for you and told you he loved you but you're still not together?" Kate shook her head. "Why, do you not love him back?"

"Oh god, I love him so much, Charlie. So much that it scares me, I'm scared I'm gonna screw it all up and he'll hate me," she admitted.

"Kate, I saw the way he looked at you, he could never hate you."

"You think?"

"Kate, I know," she said taking her sisters hand, "sweetie, if I had a guy look at me the way he looks at you I'd throw myself at him. That guy is madly in love with you and you need to tell him you feel the same."

"You sound like Lanie," Kate laughed.

"Who's Lanie?"

"My other best friend. Oh, you'll love her, she's the ME we work with on most cases. She's brilliant and she reminds me so much of you, won't take no for an answer, keeps pushing until she gets to the bottom of something..makes me admit things I had tried to keep a secret."

"Can't wait to meet her," Charlie laughed and she suddenly realised how much she'd missed in the last five years. "I'm glad to be back, you know."

"I'm glad you're back too," Kate smiled, "and you're welcome here for as long as you want. I'm just glad to have my sister home."

"Hmm, well looks like I came just in time. Now I get to see the Kate Beckett who swore she would never fall in love make that writer the happiest man in the world. But you better get a move on, Becks," she said, reverting to the nickname Maddie had used. "He might have waited for four years but he won't wait forever."

"I know," Kate said. She just had to find a way to tear down what was left of the walls she had put up so long ago. And figure out a way to bring up the developments in their moms case with Charlie.

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_**A/N: I quite like this chapter :) there will be lots more Charlie and Kate talks - they do have five years to catch up on - but I'm gonna do the Castle and Kate chat next, seems they've got a lot to talk about too! Reviews more than welcome :)**_

_**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: glad you're all enjoying this story, thank you for the feedback so far! Oh, and 71 followers after just two chapters? That's a record for any of my stories I think, thank you!**

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After their girly talk about Kate's feelings for Castle - where Kate had admitted much more than she would to anyone else, Charlie announced she was going for a nap. The jet lag was catching up with her, she'd flown from Cambodia to London, where she'd done a few touristy things for a week before flying back to New York, but given that it was now 6pm, she needed a couple of hours to catch up before sleeping properly tonight.

As much as Kate would have liked to crawl into bed too, she knew she had to speak to Castle. Digging her cell out of her bag, she pulled his number up onto the screen and hit dial.

Hey answered after a few rings. "Beckett, we got a body?" He asked.

"Uh, no. I er, said I'd call.." Had he forgotten? "And so I am..to talk. About.." _The fact that I pretended I didn't have a sister for the past four years,_ she said silently.

"Charlie. Right. Have you eaten?"

"Not since lunch but that was kinda late so I'm not hungry," she replied, just wanting him to get on with the ear bashing she was expecting.

"Yeah, me either..not sure why I asked. Wanna meet for coffee then?"

She agreed and they settled on their favourite coffee place, just a few blocks from the precinct. Beckett applied a little more mascara and blusher to make herself look a little more alive, scrawled a quick note for Charlie in case she woke up before Kate got home and grabbed her bag and keys, heading out of her apartment to go and meet Castle.

He had arrived before her and was waiting at a table in the corner, coffee already on the table.

"Hey," she smiled, slipping into the seat opposite him.

"Hi," he smiled back, "I already ordered, didn't think you'd mind."

"No it's fine, thank you." Small talk. They were making small talk. _C'mon Beckett, you've spent practically every day with this man for four years, surely you can make decent conversation?_

"So, how's Charlie?" Castle asked, bringing up the reason they were here right now.

"Sleeping," Kate replied, "jet lag finally catching up with her, I'll wake her and make her eat when I get home and then let her sleep the rest of the night."

"Ah, yeah. Jet lag isn't nice," Castle sympathised, having spent way too many hours travelling to Europe for book tours and the like.

"Castle, I'm sorry. I should have told you I had a twin sister.."

"Yeah, you should have, but you didn't. And I'm not going to say I'm not a little upset and angry that you didn't say anything but if I know you like I think I do then you had your reasons. And I know you're a very private person but I'd like to think those walls are almost down and if you wouldn't mind, would you be able to explain why you didn't say anything?" Castle didn't normally ask Beckett things like this, she wasn't a person who gave information about herself easily and almost never on someone else's terms, but he felt he had a right to know about this. They weren't just partners anymore, they were a hell of a lot more than that and he deserved an explanation.

"Er, yeah, I guess you deserve that at the very least," she said, taking a sip of coffee. "Like Charlie said earlier, we took moms murder differently. We'd been inseparable up until then, we did everything together when we were teenagers..even down to having a crush on the same guy when we were sixteen," she smiled at the memory, "god, we argued like crazy over that.."

"Who got the guy?" Castle asked, "cause the Kate Beckett I know wouldn't let anything or anyone stand in her way of what she wanted."

"Neither of us," Kate admitted. "We both decided at the same time to let the other have the chance and in the end neither of us wanted him. I think he'd already moved onto Maddie at that point though.." She smiled again, Maddie would be ecstatic that Charlie was back in town, although she'd been Kate's best friend, she'd been pretty close with Charlie too.

"And then when mom was murdered, everything changed. You know what I was like from what I've told you but Charlie didn't want anything to do with the investigation. We were both just as close to mom, but after the funeral Charlie managed to move past it and get on with her life. We were both at Stanford, couldn't even go to separate colleges..except she went back and I didn't. I think that's what changed it for us, we'd spent practically every day together until then and after that I only saw her when she was home for the holidays..but I was working most of that anyway, desperate to prove myself as a cop."

"It must have been hard," Castle said, "having a twin is a special bond and after 19 years of being together you just weren't."

Kate nodded, "yeah, you're right, it was hard, but it was the only way. Charlie couldn't stick around and watch me get sucked into that case, we hardly even mentioned mom when we were together because it would just cause arguments. I didn't just lose my mom that day, I lost my other half," she whispered, tears threatening to spill over.

"Oh Kate," Castle reached for her hand and was shocked when she didn't pulled away at the contact. "I know I asked for this but I don't want to upset you..you don't have to carry on." He wanted the story but he wasn't going to force it out of her, he cared for her too much to upset her on purpose.

"No, it's fine," she took a deep breath, "you deserve this and I'm going to tell you. After she finished her degree, she flew to London - she's got a teaching degree, finished top of her class and she combined it with English, so after London she flew to Thailand to teach English over there. I don't know if you noticed earlier when I used her full name, but-"

"Her middle name is Harper. Same as Alexis' - for Harper Lee, I'm guessing, that's why it's Alexis' middle name anyway."

Kate smiled, of course he'd get the literary reference. "Yeah, same as Charlie. It was one of my moms favourites and both of us were brought up on good books. Guess we both got our love of reading from my mom, it's just Charlie decided to study it too. If you give her a chance, the two of you will get on so well, you'll have so much in common.."

"Woah, what do you mean if I give her chance?"

"Well," she shrugged, "you have every right to be angry with me, just don't miss out on the chance of a great friendship with my sister because of it."

"You really don't get it do you?" She shot him a puzzled look. "Kate..the way I feel about you..I'm not going to say it because I know you're not ready for it, but yeah I'm a little angry but not enough to throw away the last four years."

"I don't deserve you," she muttered. "Anyway, she's been gone five years and now she's back..I think we both needed those five years apart to realise how much we need each other."

"Mm, it happens like that sometimes, you don't know what you've got until it's gone." Kate rolled her eyes at the cliché. "What? It's true," he said smiling at her.

"Do you wanna come over tomorrow?" Kate blurted out, "get to know Charlie a bit better?"

"Sounds good, but why don't you both come over to mine? Alexis will be there and I'm sue she'd love to meet Charlie.."

"Okay, great, I'll let Charlie know," she smiled at him, she didn't know what on earth she'd done to deserve a guy like this but she wasn't giving him up, not ever.

"So, how similar are you? Besides the looks thing, I mean."

"We're actually the complete opposite, you'll figure it out soon enough," she laughed, "but yeah, we are literally identical in the way we look. Even down to her lightening her hair whilst she's been gone, I didn't know that, we look exactly the same again. If she had been here when we met you'd have been able to tell the difference immediately, her hair was never short like mine, but now that I've grown mine out again I guess we could pass as one another!"

"Yeah, I thought I was dreaming when she walked into the precinct earlier," Castle said, shaking his head, it had been so surreal.

"All your fantasies come true, hey Castle," she teased with a grin.

"Oh god, don't," he groaned, he wasn't about to admit the inappropriate thoughts that had flittered through his mind upon learning the woman of his dreams had an identical twin. "Seriously though, you could have a million identical sisters and I'd still only want you."

She ignored his remark and responded with another teasing joke instead, "what, one Beckett woman too much for you to handle?"

"More than enough," he replied with a playful smile.

"Yes well, speaking of other Beckett women, I should get home and wake her up. Maybe I'll pick up Chinese on the way so she doesn't hate me too much for disturbing her beauty sleep!"

"Yeah, we have been here a while, I should get back to Alexis."

"Thank you, Castle, for understanding and not hating me for not telling you."

"I could never hate you Kate, never."

* * *

Kate picked up Chinese on the way back and found Charlie awake when she got home.

"Hey," Kate said, closing the front door behind her, "I was coming to wake you. I brought Chinese if you're hungry."

"Mm, yeah I am a bit actually. So, how did it go with Castle?"

"Pretty good, actually," Kate admitted. "Better than I thought. He's invited us both round to his tomorrow if you wanna go.."

Charlie raised an eyebrow in the same way Kate did but didn't comment on it, "yeah, sounds good."

"Cool, his daughter will be there too-"

"Wait, he has a daughter?"

"Yeah, Alexis, she's eighteen. Incredibly smart, a hell of a lot more responsible than you or I were at that age and the best kid anyone could ever wish for. Seriously, if I didn't know better then I'd question whether she was Castles or not."

"Right. And her mom?"

"Lives in LA. She's an actress. Doesn't see Alexis that much, poor kid, but Castle is an incredible father, she's a lucky girl."

"You know," Charlie said, "it's a good job you didn't deny being in love with the guy, it's written all over your face."

Kate blushed. "Shut up and eat your dinner," she grumbled.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. So, he doesn't hate you for not mentioning me then?"

"No..he was surprisingly understanding actually."

"Good, cause I wanna talk to him. Did you know that he knows James Patterson? Seriously, that's so cool!"

Kate laughed, seemed like Charlie had been doing some digging in Kate's absence. "Yeah, I've met him a few times. They get together for poker with a couple of other writers when they're all in town, I'm sure he can introduce you at some point."

"Oh my god," Charlie squealed.

"Just don't let Castle know how much you love Patterson, he'll get jealous. Come to think of it, I can't believe it took you so long to realise that it was Richard Castle," Kate said, thinking back to the moment Charlie had realised.

"Well you know me, I'm not into the crime thrillers - that's your thing - Patterson excluded, of course. But I have read his latest ones, I still can't believe they're based on my sister.."

"Yeah, I was a bit like that when he first told me I was his new muse."

"He's been good for you," Charlie stated.

"Yeah, he is good for me."

"You're a different person to when I left. Not just the hair, but now we look exactly identical again! No, there's this aura about you, you just radiate happiness and it's refreshing actually. You were a mess when I was at Stanford and I know you sorted yourself out but you weren't like this when I left, I'm assuming it's him?"

"Yeah, I think it is. He uh, knows everything, Char," Kate admitted. "About mom, I mean," in fact, he knew more than a Charlie, but she didn't want to bring that up now, she'd just got her sister back, she didn't want to push her away again.

Charlie was silent for a few minutes. Kate hadn't been the only one to change in the past five years, she herself had grown up and she wasn't going to fly off the handle at Kate for bringing up their moms murder, but it really showed how much Kate had changed if she had told Castle everything. "I'm glad," she said eventually and Kate looked at her, confusion on her face. "It's not good to keep it bottled up Katie, and you couldn't talk to me about it so I'm glad you had Castle, he seems like a great guy."

"He is, he's the best. And the two of you are gonna get on so well," Kate was practically bubbling with excitement, "for a start you both love books and I've never met anyone who can analyse a story like Castle. Alexis' middle name is the same as yours, for the same reason too."

"Ah, well I do love a man who knows his literature," Charlie teased

Kate narrowed her eyes, "hands off Charlie, he's mine," she warned and her sister just laughed.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Kate. The two of you are perfect for each other. I've been back for an afternoon and I can tell that."

"Anyway, all we've done is talk about my love life, what about yours?"

"Not exactly a lot to talk about," Charlie grumbled.

"Oh come on, you're not telling me that you've had no interest in anyone in five years?" She had been single when she left and Kate didn't believe there had been no one.

"Well, there was this one guy in London.."

"And?" Kate pressed. Charlie and got it out of her and now it was time to return the favour.

"He was brilliant..funny, charming..ridiculously hot and he was crazy about me but I broke it off when I left England, haven't see him in three years. And apart from that, there's been no one special, nothing they lasted longer than a few months."

"Well, maybe now you're back in New York you'll meet your soul mate or whatever," Kate supplied and Charlie arched her eyebrows again.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister? First you're telling me you're in love - which, by the way, I never thought would ever happen, and now you're talking about soul mates?"

"Ah, guess I listen to Castle more than I realise sometimes," Kate explained sheepishly. "There's a new detective just started down in robbery, I worked with him a few weeks back, just your type too, maybe I could introduce you?" Kate had never really interfered in Charlie's love life before, but she just wanted her sister to be happy.

"Mm, maybe in a few weeks, I've got a lot to do before I settle back here for good. How's dad?"

"He's good, great actually. He doesn't know you're back then?"

"No, thought I'd suprise him. So he isn't er..hasn't.."

"No, hasn't drunk a sip since he went into rehab, he's done amazingly well, I'm really proud of hm. And he'll be so happy you're back, maybe we should see if he's free for lunch on Sunday?" Kate suggested.

"Yeah, okay..why don't you arrange something and I'll show up and suprise him too?"

An idea was forming in Kate's head. "I've got a better plan - why don't I arrange to meet him and you turn up, see how long it takes him to notice it's you and not me?"

"Oh god, you think we can still get away with it?" Charlie asked with a grin.

"Of course we can, mom always saw through us but dad hardly ever did." The two of them had switched all the time when they were younger and their dad still had a hard time telling them apart, he had been relieved when Kate had had her hair cut short, made it so much easier to tell them apart but now they could confuse him again, especially as he didn't know Charlie was back yet.

"Okay, we'll do it. And you can wait at another table or something, and either come over when he realises or just shock him halfway through when he sees we're both there."

"Perfect," Kate laughed, "oh, wait until we tell Castle our plan, this is so up his street!"

"We can tell him all about it tomorrow, when I get to meet this incredible daughter of his," Charlie said, "now come on, let's go to bed, I'm tired again, stupid jet lag."

As Kate climbed into bed she felt the happiest she had in a while. She was so close to letting Castle in and her sister was home where she belonged, certainly things to smile about. And she was really looking forward to introducing Castle and Alexis to Charlie properly tomorrow, they were going to have a great day.

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**A/N: so, did I do the Kate and Castle chat okay?! So next chapter will be Kate and Charlie going to Castle's place - should be fun! And then in a couple of chapters time, I shall be introducing my 'plan' ;) Reviews make me happy :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: thank you all so much for your reviewing so far, really does make me happy!**

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Castle awoke the next morning with butterflies in his stomach, a mixture of nerves and anticipation for Beckett and Charlie come over. He knew that his relationship with Beckett was moving forward and that she was finally almost ready to start something with him and he praised himself for how patient he had been. Admitting he loved her when she was shot was a spur of the moment thing, he wouldn't have said anything if they hadn't been in that situation but he knew he'd never be able to live with himself if she didn't make it and he hadn't told her how he really felt. So in a way, her shooting was a blessing in disguise, admitting he loved her when she was still with Josh was something he'd sworn he'd never do but desperate times called for desperate measures.

When he'd heard that her and Josh had split up, he had tried to contain his glee at the news, but once he'd got home he hadn't been able to contain himself. That fact that she had ended it because she liked Josh but it wasn't enough was like music to Castle's ears, she was finally starting to admit that there was something between them but he'd given her time and it seemed she had finally admitted to herself how she felt, now for her to tell him..

He was still a little angry with Beckett for not telling him about Charlie, but he sort of understood her reasons. He didn't necessarily agree with what she had done, but Kate Beckett had never done what was expected. How she managed to keep that fact that she had a twin sister a secret though, he never would understand.

He had told Alexis about Charlie and she had been shocked at first but that had soon turned into excitement. As much as she tried to hide it because it 'wasn't cool', Alexis idolised Beckett and was anxiously waiting to meet her twin. Castle knew how much of an influence Beckett had on his daughter and he was grateful, with Meredith not being around much it was good for Alexis to have someone she could look up to and talk to and he was hoping for Charlie to get on with Alexis too, with her love of literature they were sure to have something in common.

Dragging the sheets away from his body, he climbed out of bed and stumbled towards the shower, still thinking of their day ahead.

* * *

Rolling over in bed, Kate picked up her cell from the bedside table and pressed the button on the bottom to check the time. 7.30am. Castle had text last night, telling them to come over at 10 and he'd make them a late breakfast and then he had plans for the four of them for rest of the day. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered Kate, but this was Castle - his plans tended to be slightly eccentric and crazy. God knows what he had thought of for today.

She was slightly nervous about today, she still wasn't convinced Castle forgave her for not telling him about Charlie before, not that she could blame him. He'd shown over the past few years that she could trust him with anything and yet she had failed to mention her twin sister. She hated herself for it but if she'd learnt anything, it was that the past can't be changed and you should look to the future. What was done was done, it couldn't be changed now so she just had to accept that and take whatever came next. Starting with today, where Castle and Alexis would get to know Charlie better..

"Morning sis," Charlie cheered brightly as Kate emerged from her room, showered and dressed.

"Wow, someone's happy this morning," Kate remarked, taking note of her sisters clothes.

Charlie seemed to notice at the same time and the two of them locked eyes and burst into laughter. "Oh god," Charlie said, "seems we still do it even after all this time apart!"

"Yeah, we do I guess. Want me to change?" Kate asked. She had dressed after her shower, picking out her favourite dark blue skinny jeans, which she was wearing with a white fitted tank top with a loose white short-sleeved blouse over the top, and she was planning on adding her black leather jacket when they left. Charlie had had a similar idea, also wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a white tank, except her blouse was a pale pink colour. Judging by the fact that her leather jacket was slung over the back of the couch, she was planning on wearing hers too.

"Oh no, this is much more fun!" Charlie said, she couldn't believe they'd dressed in nearly the same outfits, it had happened all the time when they were teenagers and they'd had a lot of fun confusing people but as they'd grown up and apart, it had happened less and less. Kate had chosen more strict clothing around the time Charlie had left, but along with growing out her hair, it seemed she'd gone back to her old ways of dressing.

"Yeah, I guess it is. Oh god, this is going to be a dream come true for Castle!" Kate said, "we've got time for coffee before we leave, want to go now and stop off on the way for one?"

"Sure, let me just make this fantasy of Castle's a little better.."

Kate was confused, until a few minutes later Charlie emerged from the bathroom. She had taken her hair down from the bun she had it in so it now hung loose and curly around her shoulders - exactly the same as Kate's.

"Oh god, he isn't going to be able to tell us apart," Kate laughed, grabbing her jacket and keys. She picked up her phone and briefly wavered over taking her gun. She always had it on her when she was on duty but only really took it out when she was alone if she was off duty. He badge was always with her, just in case she needed it, but the gun was a little harder to hide. She decided against it, after all, they were just going for coffee and to Castle's.

The two of them headed out of Kate's apartment and down to her car, slipping out onto the busy New York road. Pulling up at one of her favourite coffee places, they parked and headed inside.

"So," Charlie said as they waited in line for their turn to order. "Tell me more about Alexis. She's probably going to be my niece or something soon so I guess I should know more about her."

"Shut up, Charlotte. Castle and I aren't even together, never mind getting married," Kate scolded, rolling her eyes at her annoying little sister.

"You're doing the whole big sister routine right now, aren't you?" Charlie knew her twin like the back of her hand, they couldn't get much past each other.

"Well I _am_ older," Kate replied with a smirk and stepped forward in the line.

"By 2 minutes and 47 seconds, Kate, not by much!" Charlie argued back.

"But it's long enough to be older than you."

Charlie didn't get a chance to reply as they were next in line. Kate gave their order and paid, stepping off to the side to wait for it.

"You brought Castle and Alexis coffee too?" Charlie asked.

"No, they're for the monkeys at the New York zoo," Kate replied sarcastically and Charlie huffed in annoyance. "Yes, I brought them coffee too, why?"

"Proper little domesticated wife now aren't you," Charlie teased and Kate growled in frustration. She didn't understand the big deal, Castle had brought her coffee every morning for years, it would be weird to turn up and not bring them coffee if they had stopped for some on the way. Charlie just didn't understand because she hadn't been around, that was all.

Grabbing their drinks, they climbed back into the car and Kate drove the rest of the way to Castle's loft. When they arrived, Charlie watched her sister in slight shock. She parked and walked towards the building like she came here everyday and waved a hello to the doorman like she lived here. Stepping into the elevator, Charlie couldn't suppress a smile.

"What?" Kate asked, pressing the relevant button and watching the doors close.

"Oh nothing, just seeing how at ease you are going to your not-boyfriends house."

"Shut up," Kate mumbled and she stepped out of the elevator and strode towards the door to Castle's apartment. "Now, I need you to be on your best behaviour today, no embarrassing me," she warned before knocking.

"Oh don't worry about me, I'm just itching to see how much Castle knows about you," Charlie said and was saved from the wrath of her sister by the door swinging open.

Alexis's first thought when she opened the door was that she was dreaming. Sure, her father had told her that detective Beckett had an identical twin but she wasn't prepared for just how similar they were. Even down to their hair and outfits, they were _the same_.

"Detective Beckett!" She said, opening the door to let them in, "and uh, Miss Beckett, come in." She couldn't tell them apart, she only had to hope that it would become clear any second when one of them spoke to say hi.

Charlie raised an eyebrow at Kate as the entered the loft. "Thanks, but uh, Charlie will do," she told the girl with a smile, finally letting Alexis know who was who. God, this was weird. _Right, so Charlie is in pink and Detective Beckett in white, shouldn't be too hard to remember.._

"Sure," Alexis smiled back. "I'm Alexis, Rick's daughter. It's nice to meet you, even if we didn't know about you.."

"Thanks, Alexis, it's lovely to meet you too. And I think we all know my sister is to blame for that," she said with a pointed look at Kate.

Just then, Castle came bounding down to them, full of life and excitement, like a damn puppy. "Kate! And uh..uh.." _Oh god_, which one was which? _Had they done this on purpose? _Looking from one to the other, the only noticeable difference was that one was in a pink shirt and the other was in a white one. _Think, Castle, which of these have you seen before?_

Alexis grinned at her dad's obvious confusion, but looking to the twins now, if she hadn't known before it was blindingly obvious who was who. "Oh come on, dad, it's not that difficult," she said with a laugh.

"Well it's alright for you, you answered the door, I'm sure Charlie introduced herself..I missed that and it doesn't look like anyone is going to put me out of my misery!" He looked to Kate and Charlie again, desperately trying to differentiate between them.

"Really?" Alexis said, "because from where I'm standing it's pretty obvious." Castle looked to his daughter in confusion. "Look again, dad. Given that you only met Charlie for the first time yesterday, I'd say it's not her looking at you like _that_."

At her words, Castle looked up at the matching faces in front of him. Alexis was right, on closer inspection, Charlie's eyes showed amusement while Kate, well her face was breaking into that smile she only gave him when she really appreciated him. Like when she had found him and his mother after they'd been taken hostage at the bank. Yeah, that was his Kate all right, no one else had ever looked at him like the way she was looking at him now.

* * *

**A/N: please don't hate me! I know I said this was going to be Kate and Charlie at Castle's place but I've got a lot on my mind today and this took like three hours to write as it is! So I'm sorry about that, but I promise it'll be up in a day or two, bare with me! Reviews more than welcome, your feedback keeps me going!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry to those who have picked holes in my story that there are parts you don't like, but if it bothers you that much then you don't have to carry on reading :) thank you soooo much to those of you who have left me a lovely review so far, you're all kinds of awesome!**

* * *

_At her words, Castle looked up at the matching faces in front of him. Alexis was right, on closer inspection, Charlie's eyes showed amusement while Kate, well her face was breaking into that smile she only gave him when she really appreciated him. Like when she had found him and his mother after they'd been taken hostage at the bank. Yeah, that was his Kate all right, no one else had ever looked at him like the way she was looking at him now._

* * *

"Hey," Castle whispered, smiling back at Kate.

"Hi," she replied shyly.

Shy? Kate Beckett was _not_ shy. Castle studied her for moment, before looking to Charlie. Or Kate. Oh god he hated this. He thought he knew Kate Beckett from a mile away but now he was starting to doubt his own genius, not something he did very often. What if they'd planned this, the matching outfits, the similar hair..were they trying to trick him? If they were, he wasn't too sure how he could figure it out. He could ask something only Kate would know, but he wouldn't put it past them to have planned for that, no, it had be something she wouldn't have thought of..

It came to him suddenly - cherries. Kate's shampoo always smelt like cherries and he was pretty sure there wasn't much chance of Charlie having a cherry scented shampoo too.

"Charlie, lovely to see you again!" Castle said, moving to give Charlie a hug to say hello. As she said hi back and stepped into his arms, he took a discreet sniff - coconut, not cherries, definitely not Kate. So, she really had been shy, that was interesting to say the least.

"So Castle, you convinced we're who we say we are?" Kate asked, a grin appearing on her face. She had known he'd be suspicious but it was all part of the fun and she hadn't missed the way he had smelt Charlie's hair to double check. She was impressed actually, she wouldn't have thought that would be his way of determining their identities.

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, looking and sounding confused. "He figured it out a few minutes ago.."

"Mm, course he did," Kate replied with another grin. "Anyway," she said, walking over to the kitchen. "We brought you coffee. Alexis, it is that chocolatey one you like, right?"

"Uh yeah, it is. Thanks, Detective Beckett," Alexis smiled. She was used to her dad and Kate having coffee together so much that they knew each other's orders, but she thought she'd only mentioned her favourite to the detective once, but she'd remembered.

Castle watched Kate in awe, he was impressed at her memory of Alexis' favourite coffee and so pleased that she was making an effort, it told him all he needed to know about Kate's feelings for him.

"Okay, so what are we having to eat?" Castle asked, heading into the kitchen to start preparing their food. "Pancakes or waffles, or do you want eggs and bacon?"

Kate answered "pancakes" at the same time Charlie and Alexis said "waffles".

Castle laughed, he should have known it wouldn't be a unanimous decision, but what did surprise him was that Kate and Charlie had opted for different choices. "Okay, well how about I do pancakes and waffles then?" He suggested, "and I'll do fruit too, gotta get our five a day in," he said with a wink.

"Sounds good, here let me help," Kate said, "I'm sure Alexis and Charlie can find enough to talk about while we make breakfast?"

"Yes!" Charlie replied enthusiastically, "come on Alexis, I need the gossip on my sister!"

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes, she was probably going to regret that decision, Charlie had a knack of getting out information from people that they weren't even convinced they should be giving up. Hmm, maybe the NYPD should hire her, it might make solving some of their cases a little easier.

"I don't even want to know what they're talking about," Castle said ten minutes later. Alexis and Charlie were engrossed in conversation, the two of them seemed to be getting along like a house on fire.

"Oh god, don't," Kate groaned, "I'm sure Charlie is over there embarrassing me!"

"Well then I think I need to have more chats with her, I could do with some more ammunition against you," he teased.

"Oh I think you manage to annoy me just enough without knowing all of my secrets!"

"Mm, I wish," he replied, "right, that's breakfast cooked." He slid the rest of the pancakes onto a plate as Kate was finishing the fruit. "It's ready you two," he called to Alexis and Charlie.

"Wow you two, this looks great!" Alexis said, she knew her dad was a great cook but she didn't know Kate was so good too.

"It does indeed," Charlie agreed. "Kate, did you add-"

"Of course I did, he didn't even notice," Kate replied with a wink.

Castle looked from one to the other. He wasn't she he liked this, someone else knowing Kate as well as he did. Or better, even. "What did I miss?"

"Oh nothing," Charlie said lightly, helping herself to waffles and strawberries.

"Just a little secret ingredient our mom used to add to the pancakes," Kate told him as she poured maple syrup onto her pancakes.

"Hmm, I don't think I like this, you two ganging up on me like this," he pouted and the other three laughed at him.

"Well I guess you could even include Alexis in that too.." Charlie said.

Castle looked to Alexis who shrugged. "Charlie told me the secret ingredient." Great, so now he had his daughter, his almost-but-not-quite-girlfriend and her twin sister ganging up on him. All he needed now was his mother to join them and he'd never win an argument ever again.

"We are so having a baby boy first," he grumbled, so quietly that Alexis and Charlie didn't hear him from the other side of the table but given that Kate's head snapped to face him so fast, he figured she had heard him.

"What did you just say?" Kate hissed under her breath. Luckily, Alexis and Charlie were in conversation about how they only really had pancakes on shrove Tuesday in England.

"I uh, I was just about to tell you about this new toy.." Brilliant Castle, of course she was going to believe that.

"That's not what you-"

Castle counted his lucky stars that Charlie chose that time to interrupt. "Hey Kate, did I ever tell you.."

Castle didn't even pay attention to what Charlie was talking about right now, he was too busy berating himself for his slip up. The words had just come out before he even had a chance to think about what it was he was saying, he was just thankful that he'd only said it loud enough for Kate to hear, the last thing he needed was Alexis and Charlie hearing too. It wasn't that he didn't mean it, oh god no, a baby with Kate would be perfect but he didn't think she was quite ready to hear about how much he'd planned their future together, he didn't want to scare her away before they'd even had a chance to start anything.

"Here, I'll give you a hand," Kate said to Alexis as she began cleaning the table. "Let your dad and Charlie get to know each other a little better." Kate needed time to process what he'd said by accident - and the fact that it had caused excited fluttering in her belly, that was more worrying.

Kate and Alexis cleaned the dishes, making conversation as they went and Castle sat with Charlie on the couch.

"So, you over the jet lag yet?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, getting there. I slept most of the night last night so hopefully I'm getting back into some sort of a routine. But don't think I'm letting you off that easily." Castle looked worried. "What are your intentions towards my sister?" She asked, seriousness laced in her voice.

"I..I'm, I- ah.." He broke off when Charlie couldn't contain her laughter anymore.

"Oh god, you should see your face!" She giggled. Castle huffed in a mixture of annoyance and relief. "But in all seriousness, what is the deal with you and her?"

"You mean you haven't asked her?"

"Of course I have! I just wanted to know what your version is."

"And what did she say?" Castle asked. He was intrigued as to what Charlie had been told, Kate was someone who closely guarded her feelings and he wondered if that transpired to her relationship with her sister too.

"Oh no, I'm not telling you that. You wanna know how she feels then you can ask her yourself," Charlie replied with a smirk. She could tell Kate and Castle should be together but she wasn't getting in the middle of it. She knew her sister and she wasn't going to tell Castle what she had been told, that was up to Kate to reveal when she was ready. Whenever the hell that was.

"Mm, thought that might be your answer." But what Charlie had told him was telling him something - Kate had told Charlie how she felt and hopefully that meant she was close to telling him too. Glancing to the kitchen, Castle saw that Kate and Alexis were still involved in conversation and not laying attention to him and Charlie. "I love her," he said simply. "I love her so much it hurts."

Charlie hadn't been expecting that. She was pretty sure Castle was in love with her sister but she didn't think he'd actually come straight out and say it. "So why haven't you told her?" She asked. She knew he had of course, when Kate was shot, but she wanted to see his reaction.

"I did, when she was shot. But she doesn't remember and I never found the right time to tell her after that."

Wait, what? _She didn't remember_? Well quite clearly she did because she had told Charlie, so why was she lying to Castle about what she remembered?

* * *

"Wow, I never knew that could be so much fun!" Charlie panted three hours later, collapsing onto the sofa.

"I didn't either until Castle convinced me to do it one afternoon," Kate replied. She had enjoyed it just as much today as she had the first time she had been dragged into it.

"Dad and I played laser tag all the time when I was growing up," Alexis said, "it's nice to have others to play it with, dad can't cheat that way."

"I do not cheat!" Castle exclaimed. Alexis and Kate shot him identical looks. "Okay, maybe I do sometimes but I don't like losing!"

"Awe Castle, you feeling ganged up on?" Kate teased and she laughed when Castle pouted.

"What about your grandmother, did she never play it with you?" Charlie asked.

Kate, Alexis and Castle all shared a look before simultaneously bursting into laughter.

"What?" Charlie asked, she wasn't sure what she had said that was so funny.

"Er, when you meet Martha you'll understand," Kate told her, still laughing at the thought of Martha playing laser tag.

"Oh god," Castle said, "can you imagine my mother playing laser tag?" That was something that would never happen which was a shame, because it was sure to be highly amusing.

"Okay okay, well when I meet her I'm sure I'll be able to see what it is you all know," Charlie said and once again she realised just how much a part of their family Kate had become. "Oh, by the way Castle, reckon you could introduce me to Patterson?" She asked with a smile.

Castle looked to Kate in mock horror. "Is she for real?" He hissed, "Jesus Kate, I thought good taste would run in the family!"

Kate laughed at his reaction. "'Fraid so Castle, she doesn't read that genre unless it's Patterson."

"I'm outraged!" Castle exclaimed and the three women laughed at him. "Wait, but you read Nikki Heat?"

Charlie added more fuel to the fire. "I was bored," she shrugged. "Maybe it was the character and not the writer I enjoyed."

Kate and Alexis were visibly trying not to laugh at Castle's current state. It wasn't very often they came across someone who didn't fawn over him as a writer, it was actually quite nice to see.

"I..what..why.." Castle stuttered and Alexis and Kate couldn't keep their laughter in any longer.

"Oh god Castle, you should see your face!" Kate said.

"Well, Nikki Heat wouldn't exist without me!"

"Or me," Kate reminded him. "Though I'm sure you could have found someone else at the CIA to add to your club," she teased, reminding him of the time they'd talked about him shadowing Sophia Turner and basing Clara Strike on her.

"Very clever my dear detective, but in case you'd forgotten, Clara Strike was just a companion for Derrick Storm - Nikki Heat has her own series."

"Mm, I guess I'll let you have that one!" Kate conceded.

They whiled the rest of the afternoon away with chit chat, Charlie telling tales of her time abroad and Alexis filling them in on her final weeks as a senior in high school. Charlie was impressed to find out that Alexis was planning on heading to Colombia in the fall and they discussed their own college days, letting Alexis in on what she had to look forward too.

Around 4, Kate and Charlie decided to leave Castle and Alexis alone for a bit, deciding to walk around Central Park - Charlie hadn't been there in years and it was something she'd missed about home. Saying their goodbyes and thank yous for the fun they'd had, they promised to get together for dinner one day next week, planning on inviting Martha too so she could meet Charlie as well.

Heading to her car, they climbed in and Kate almost crashed when Charlie asked her a question.

"So," Charlie said, "you gonna tell me why you lied to Castle about hearing him say he loves you?"

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**A/N: so I've had a really crappy day and this was practically impossible to write because I feel so rubbish but I tried my best! Sorry if it's not brilliant, but your thoughts would really make me happy :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: thank you all so much, can't believe how good the response is to this, never imagined so many of you would like it! I wasn't going to do another update today but I decided to anyway because you've all been leaving such wonderful reviews, thank you!**

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_"So," Charlie said, "you gonna tell me why you lied to Castle about hearing him say he loves you?"_

* * *

"I..what do you mean?" Kate asked, desperately trying to find a way of talking herself out of answering the question. She never in a million years would have thought Castle would tell Charlie that, what had they been talking about?

"Katherine Houghton Beckett don't you dare pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." Kate almost crashed again when she heard Charlie's tone. Her twin was the more laid back of the two, never worrying too much or getting angry with people.

"What did he tell you?" Kate asked, keeping her eyes firmly locked on the road ahead.

Charlie sighed. She should have known better than to expect a straight answer, Kate would never make things easy for her. "I asked him how he felt about you and he told me that he loves you. Well, I already knew that of course, you can see it every time he looks at you, but it was nice to hear him say it all the same. So then I asked why he hadn't told you, I mean I knew he had but I wanted to see what he said - and maybe that was a good thing given that you didn't tell me you lied about remembering him saying it!"

"Look, Charlie, it's complicated okay?" Kate was more focused on the fact that Castle had told Charlie he 'loves' her - present tense, he still did even though the only major thing to happen since her shooting was her breaking up with Josh.

"How complicated can it be, Kate? Because to me it looks like you're finding every possible way to stop the inevitable. Because that's what it is, inevitable. You're going to be with Castle and everyone knows it - except you. So maybe it's time you stopped putting it off and put the poor guy out of his misery, like I said, he isn't going to wait forever." Charlie coincidentally timed the ending of her sentence with their arrival at Central Park. She climbed out of the car and didn't bother to look and see if Kate was following her.

Charlie was angry. It was one thing a guy telling you he loved you when you were shot but to then pretend you hadn't heard him? What on earth was she thinking? It was one of those instances where it was blatantly obvious that despite the fact they were twins, it really was only their looks that were the same, Charlie could never imagine being in a situation like Kate's and not doing anything about it.

"Charlie, wait up," Kate called, jogging to catch up. "Look, let me explain, please?" She said as she reached her sister. She wasn't too sure why Charlie was so angry, she hadn't expected her to agree with what she had done but on the other hand, she hadn't expected a reaction like this.

"Okay fine, but only because you're my sister and I love you," Charlie conceded and Kate let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

"Thank you. Come on, let's walk and talk," she said, setting a slow pace around the park. "When Castle told me he loved me I had a boyfriend."

"Okay, point one to you," Charlie said and Kate shot her a confused look. "Well so far it's a good enough reason to have not said anything. Possibly not for this long but keep going."

"Yeah, right..okay. Anyway, Josh and I had been together for around a year, I didn't love him and Castle knew that. I mean I never told him directly but I'm sure you've noticed he's very good at reading between the lines. About a week before I was shot, we had a huge argument and he said 'I know you crawled inside your mothers murder and didn't come out. I know you hide there, same way you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love.' And he was right, I hid behind my relationship with Josh so that I didn't have to face how I felt about Castle."

"From what I understand, you and Castle have pretty much been inseparable since he started shadowing you, how'd you have time to meet another guy?" Charlie asked.

Oh wow, she was really asking for it now. "Castle spent the summer at his Hamptons house with his ex wife," Kate said, conveniently leaving out the part where he had asked her first and she had declined.

"You know, I was about to fly off the handle at that, how could he do that to you etc, but then I looked at your face and I think it's pretty obvious you're missing out a big part of that story."

Kate damned her sister for knowing her so well, and for the fact that she wouldn't be able to worm her way out of this one. "Okay..so he asked me first and I said no..and then he asked Gina. She's his ex wife and publisher, bit weird but it works. But while he was doing that, I was breaking up with my boyfriend at the time to go with him. I was about to tell him I'd go when Gina showed up."

Charlie was silent for a minute, taking in everything Kate had just told her. "So maybe you were both in the wrong?" Kate shook her head. "What?"

"Castle didn't do anything wrong..well apart from not calling but that's a whole different story."

"One which I shall be expecting to hear soon. Okay, so he didn't technically do anything wrong, but what kind of a guy asks a girl to his holiday home and immediately asks his ex wife when the first says no?"

"Yeah okay, that probably wasn't his finest moment, but I'd already said no. Thing was, I broke up with Tom, thinking Castle and I were finally ready to start something and I had it all thrown back in my face the moment miss perfect blonde barbie came running," Kate said scathingly and Charlie stifled a laugh.

"Oh Katie, seeing you jealous over a guy is not something I thought I'd ever see after Brent Edwards!" Charlie had loved the jealousy when Kate and Maddie had argued over the same guy back in high school.

"How did we get from Castle telling me he loved me to Brent Edwards?" Kate asked. "Anyway, we're losing track of ourselves. Well, Josh and I broke up not long after I'd been shot. I guess it was half the fact that Castle had said he loved me and half the fact that Castle pointed out I was hiding in my relationship with Josh. Whatever, it was because of Castle."

"So..you broke up with this Josh and still didn't tell Castle you remembered?"

"No..I just couldn't do it. I'd told myself from day one that he was not my type and that it would only end in tears, but he changed Charlie, god, if you could see the difference in the man I first met and the man you've just met you wouldn't believe the difference. He used to be this self-centred playboy but he's not like that anymore."

"No, he's not," Charlie replied, "and that's why I'm so angry you haven't told him. Kate, Castle is one of the nicest guys I've ever met and a little over 24 hours ago, I didn't know him from Adam. He loves you so much and so does his daughter, I don't understand why he's still chasing you like a lovesick puppy!"

"Charlie, when I was shot I was a mess. I put on a front at work but I think Castle saw through it. He knew me well enough at that point to not push me to talk about, but he didn't know I was already seeing a therapist. It took me three years of looking into moms murder to even contemplate a therapist and yet I was seeing one three weeks after I was shot. He did that, Charlie, he made me realise that there's more to life than death and I owe him everything." She took a deep breath but continued quickly, not wanting her sister to interrupt when she was on a roll. "I'm scared. Scared I won't be enough for him, scared I'll hurt him..scared I'll get hurt. He deserves so much and I'm just worried I can't give it to him."

"Oh sweetie, don't be silly!" Charlie stopped at a nearby bench and Kate sat down next to her. "That man loves you and I think the best thing you could ever do was tell him how much you love him!"

"You really think it could work?" Kate asked quietly, she hadn't realised it until now but all she'd really needed was her sister to talk this through with.

"I do. I promise you Kate, you would make that man the happiest on earth if you told him how you felt. And who cares if it doesn't go according to plan, you need to at least give it a shot!"

"I know I do, and I'm so close to jumping in..I guess I just needed that extra push."

"What are sisters for, hey?" Charlie smiled and Kate hugged her. "Now, I fancy a hot chocolate, you want one?"

Kate agreed and Charlie left her sitting on the bench as she went to buy them. Her mind was made up, first chance she got, she was going to tell Castle how she felt. She felt as though a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders at that and she felt lighter than she had since the shooting, it was a great feeling.

She suddenly remembered she was supposed to have arranged lunch with their dad for tomorrow. Pulling out her phone she dialled his number and got his voicemail. She was too busy leaving a message to take notice of what was happening in the queue where Charlie was currently waiting..

Charlie felt a hand rest on her ass at the same time a voice whispered "hey gorgeous, how are you?" In her ear. Slapping the mans hand away, she turned to him in shock.

"Who the hell are you?" She asked, rather forcefully. Well, he had been touching her up..

Confusion registered on the mans face. "Wow, well, I know it's been almost a year but I didn't think you'd forget me completely.."

"I'm sorry," Charlie told him, "I think you've got me confused with somebody else, I'm pretty sure we've never met before."

"Oh I get it," the man said, his tone turning cool. "Now that I'm out of the picture I guess you and writer boy are free to get it on." _Writer boy? Who the hell was that_? "Just don't think you can come running back to me when you realise he can't give you want you want."

Having spent the last five years on a different continent to her sister, she forgot that being back home meant people would confuse them again. "Ah, you must be Josh?" She asked.

"Kate, what is wrong with you?" He asked.

"Im uh, not Kate. I'm Charlie, her twin sister."

"Of course you are," he said sarcastically. "And I suppose the moon is made of cheese, too?" _Was he for real? _Don't get too bored with writer boy!" He called as he walked away, leaving Charlie no chance to explain that she really wasn't Kate.

Returning a few minutes later with their drinks, Kate said, "you were gone ages, what happened?"

"Um I..think I just met Josh."

"My Josh?" Kate said and Charlie nodded, before launching into the tale of him mistaking her for Kate and getting annoyed when she said she was Kate's twin. When she had finished, Kate was practically doubled over with laughter. "Oh my god, wait until I tell Castle you met dr motorcycle boy!"

Charlie was confused, first writer boy and now dr motorcycle boy? "Uh Kate, what's with the the weird nicknames?"

"Oh..uh I don't know, I think Castle came up with the name for Josh..he never did like him..."

"I wonder why," Charlie retorted, "maybe it had something to do with the fact a guy other than him was getting into your pants?"

"Oh shush," Beckett said and Charlie smiled. "Anyway, I phoned dad and he didn't answer, but I left a message to see if he wants to do lunch tomorrow."

"Cool, sounds good to me. How about we pick up pizza on the way home and you can tell me more about the time Castle didn't call.."

"Deal."

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter is meeting with their dad and I'm sure that's going to be fun! Reviews make me happier than Castle with a case about ninjas ;)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: so bringing Josh in apparently wasn't a very popular decision but I hope you're all still with me! To ease any fears, Kate and Josh WILL NOT be getting together. Neither will Charlie and Josh for that matter. Anyway, thank you for all the love, here's chapter 7!**

* * *

"Okay, so you know the plan?" Beckett asked for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning.

Charlie rolled her eyes in typical Beckett fashion, sometimes she cursed her sister for her need to plan everything down to a tee. God help Castle when they got married - when, not if, - there would be no way of him getting her down that aisle unless she was one hundred percent sure that everything was sorted. Charlie, on the other hand, tended to just go with the flow and take what came.

"Yes, Kate. I know the plan. I pretend to be you, meet with dad for lunch and see how long it takes him to figure it out." Charlie was about five minutes away from losing her patience, they'd been over this so many times this morning that she could recite in it her sleep. Kate's take on it was that this was the only person in the world who knew the two of them really well, he'd be the hardest to trick into believing they were each other. Charlie didn't agree, she felt it would be harder to convince Castle that they were each other, despite the identical looks. "We've been over what he's likely to ask and I know you, I can figure out what to say to make him think I'm you. Just one thing - when he asks about Castle, do I tell him you lied about what you heard or.."

"If you like," she replied lightly and Charlie's eyes widened in shock.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, you tell him that and I'll tell him how it was you who took the whisky from the cabinet when we were 18, so you could drink it in the park with your friends."

Charlie laughed, she'd forgotten about that. "Mm, well maybe if you weren't so insistent on rebelling against everything they wouldn't have just assumed it was you?"

She had a point, Kate conceded. "Well you could have told them it was you! Though thinking back, I don't think they would have believed you.." Kate had taken the punishment for Charlie back then, figuring there would probably be a time she could use it to her advantage - seemed like that time was now. She was pretty sure her father could already tell how she felt about Castle, but she didn't think he'd approve of the way she had handled the situation, they'd been brought up to be honest and respectful and she wasn't either of those things right now.

"No, they wouldn't have but thank you for not dropping me in it. Okay, you win, I won't tell dad about that. Now, don't you think you better shower, we have to leave soon, can't get there after dad now can we!" Kate was going to sit at a table where she could see Charlie and her dad, but not so their dad could see her. She'd either turn up when he realised he was being played or just drop in halfway through and surprise him, they weren't sure how long they'd be able to pull it off for yet.

"Jeez, we've got an hour and a half!"

"Yeah but you stink so you'll need extra long in the shower," Charlie teased, poking her tongue out at Kate.

"Oh charming, nice to see you too after five years Charlie!" Kate laughed as she headed for her bathroom.

Once Kate had disappeared to shower, Charlie pulled out her make up bag and sat cross legged on the sofa to get started. She kept it light, just adding a touch of eyeliner that made her look even more like Kate before adding a raspberry lip balm to her lips. She was just about to put it all away again when there was a knock at the front door, she could still hear the water running in the shower so Kate wouldn't be out to answer it. Jumping up, she strode over to the door to see who was there.

"Castle! Hey," she said, "uh, you wanna come in?"

"No that's okay, I know you and Charlie are going to meet your dad for lunch, I just came by to drop this bracelet off, I think Charlie left it at mine yesterday?"

_Wait, what? He thought she was Kate?_ Dear god she hadn't expected that. She was about to open her mouth and tell him she was actually Charlie when she changed her mind - she was supposed to pretend to be Kate for this lunch with their dad, why not start a little early? She knew she had to be careful though, looks aside, Castle would be able to tell her apart from Kate in an instant if she acted like herself.

"Oh, yeah I think that's hers," she said with a smile. It was, which she knew, she'd taken it off when they'd played laser tag and forgotten to pick it back up again. "Thanks for dropping it by, I'll give it to her when she gets out of the shower," she smiled at him, taking the bracelet he was handing out to her.

Castle was halfway smiling back when he stopped and frowned. "This is yours, isn't it _Charlie_?" He asked, a smirk forming on his face.

"How did you guess?!" Charlie asked, they'd literally just started talking, how had he figured it out already?

"That nose twitch you did? Kate does that too, well, either you were impersonating her or it _is_ something you do as well, but what gave it away is that Kate would have rolled her eyes at me and told me I was silly for coming all the way over here just to drop off a bracelet," he grinned, proud of himself for figuring it out so quickly.

_Dammit, he was good_. "Okay, you win, I am Charlie. And uh, it's a good job you already told me you were in love with her, I would have guessed from what you just told me if I didn't think it the first time I saw the two of you together," she said, echoing the words she had told Kate the other night. Were these two idiots ever going to get their act together, she couldn't believe they'd been working together for four years and nothing had happened!

"Great, well now that I've given you _your_ bracelet back, I'll let you get back to getting ready," he gave her a smile as he turned away and she was about to close the door when he spun back around. "Oh and Charlie? Might wanna work a little harder if you want to convince your dad that you're actually Kate? See ya!"

Charlie closed the door, a grin on her face as she made her way back through the apartment.

"Hey, was someone at the door?" Kate asked, emerging from her shower in a towel.

"Uh yeah, Castle," Charlie said, "he came by to drop off my bracelet that I left their yesterday."

Kate rolled her eyes and said "goodness knows why he came all this way to drop off a bracelet, I'll see him at work tomorrow!" And Charlie couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "What?" Kate asked.

"Ah, well you see, I thought I'd try our plan out a little early..I pretended I was you when Castle knocked on the door."

"And?" Kate said, narrowing her eyes.

"He uh, didn't buy it for a second. In fact, he said you'd do exactly what you just did and that's what gave me away."

Kate smiled, it would be practically impossible to trick Castle into thinking they were the other, he knew her inside out and she spent practically every day with him. "Mm, well then I guess you better work harder if you wanna convince dad that you're me!" She said, disappearing back into her bedroom, leaving Charlie wondering once again why they weren't together yet - Kate had practically just repeated what Castle had said as he left!

* * *

A little over an hour later, and Charlie was sat at a table, anxiously waiting for her dad to arrive. Kate was hidden behind a menu at the moment, so that he didn't spot her when he walked in, but when he sat down he'd have his back to her. Looking back over at the door, Charlie spotted him walking into the restaurant. He looked around for a moment before finally spotting Charlie.

"Katie, hi," he said as he reached the table, "how are you?"

"Hey dad, I'm good thanks, how're you?"

"I'm good, all the better for seeing my little Katie-bug!" He smiled, taking the seat opposite her. That was good, he seemed convinced so far, but then again he didn't even know Charlie was back in the country, he had no reason to believe it wasn't her. "So, how's work?" He asked.

"Work's good, plenty to keep us busy!" She said. Her and Kate had discussed this, work was something their father always brought up but Kate said she never really went into much detail so Charlie could just make it up as she went along. "Castle keeping us all entertained with his crazy theories as usual," she added with a laugh.

"That's not a surprise!" Jim replied, "and how is Mr Castle these days? I haven't seen him in a while.."

"Castle's good, dad, just busy. When he's not at work with me he's either with Alexis or writing, but I'm sure he'd love to see you again." Actually, Charlie didn't have a clue if Castle wanted to see Jim again, but a quick glance over his shoulder to Kate suggested she'd said the right thing if the smile on her face was anything to go by.

"And I'd love to see him, you tell him I said hi and that we'll have to get together one night." Jim said, pausing as the waitress came over to take their drink order. "He's a good man, Katie, one of the best."

Charlie looked at him and could tell he was remembering Kate's shooting. Kate had told her it was at the funeral for her captain and that their dad had been there, which meant he'd seen her get shot - and seen Castle try and push her out of the way.

"I know he is dad," she replied, looking to Kate for help. This wasn't a conversation she could have very easily with her dad, she needed to change the subject. "So, what've you been up to, anything nice?"

"Oh not much, work has been pretty hectic the last few weeks..I did go out to the cabin last weekend though, went up with Peter and his son, did a spot of fishing.."

"Oh that sounds nice, catch anything good?" She asked, she knew Peter was his sponsor and she was proud of him for staying sober for so long, he'd done really well and she knew it couldn't have been easy.

Their drinks arrived and they asked the waitress for a while longer before they ordered, neither had looked at the menu yet. They continued making conversation and Charlie realised how much she'd missed New York. She'd had a brilliant time abroad but her heart was in New York City and she didn't want to leave for too long again. The two days since she'd got home had reminded her how much she missed her sister and now she was realising how much she had missed her dad, too.

"Suppose we better decide what we want to eat, I'm starving!" She said, picking up a menu.

"Me too," Jim replied before letting out a laugh.

"What?" Charlie questioned, wondering what had got him so amused.

"Oh I was just thinking, they've got spaghetti and meatballs on the menu - remember how Charlie would order that every single time we ever went out for a meal?"

Charlie's eyes widened. Was it just a coincidence that had brought her up or did he know more than he was letting on? Another quick glance to Kate led her to believe she didn't know either, their facial expressions were probably matching right now.

"Katie, is something wrong?" Jim asked, concern etched on his face.

Okay, so he might not have guessed. Just coincidence? Probably. "No, just..it's been a while since I spoke to Charlie, perhaps I'll email her tonight.."

"Good idea," Jim smiled, "perhaps I will too. I do worry about her you know, I mean I know she's sensible but she's so far away.." _Not as far as you think,_ she thought silently, "I miss her, it's been a long time since she was home.."

Kate and Charlie both decided at the same moment to put him out of his misery. Standing up, Kate walked over to their table and sat down in the seat next to Charlie.

"Can we help- oh my god!" He exclaimed as he realised who it was, well, almost. "Charlie! Is it really you?" He asked, looking at Kate.

"Uh yeah, it's me dad," Charlie said and Jim's gaze flew to her as he realised what they'd done.

"Oh no, you didn't?!" They both nodded, matching grins on their faces. "I can't believe I fell for it!" He said and they laughed.

"Well, in your defence you didn't know Charlie was in the country.." Kate said.

"Yeah, that's what I'm using as my excuse for not fooling Castle this morning," Charlie laughed, "he knew I was here so it was easier for him!"

"Wait, how long have you been back?" Jim asked.

"Since Friday afternoon. I would have called but then we came up with the idea of me pretending to be Kate so.."

"Well, you tricked me again girls! But Charlie, it's so good to have you home..how long are you here for?"

"I'm home for good, daddy," she said with a smile and he beamed at her.

"Oh I've got both my girls back where they belong!"

The waitress came back over and after doing a double take at Kate and Charlie, she took their order - Charlie choosing not to break the habit of a lifetime and going for the spaghetti and meatballs. They entered into animated conversation about Charlie's adventures abroad and what Jim had been up to in the five years since Charlie had left for England.

Their food arrived and the three of them were silent for a few minutes as they tucked into their meals.

"So," Jim began, "what's this about you not fooling Castle?"

"Ah, well we spent the day with him and Alexis yesterday and Charlie left her bracelet there. He graciously dropped it off this morning..and Charlie thought she'd pretend to be me, see if she could get away with it...which, it turns out, she can - just not with Castle." Kate explained.

"Hey, I just didn't realise quite how close the two of you were, I can work on it," Charlie teased.

"Maybe you're just losing your touch," Kate counteracted, trying to prove that it was Charlie who couldn't be her anymore and not that her and Castle knew each other just that well.

"Sorry, Katie, but I'm going to have to agree with Charlie on this one. Not only did she fool me into believing it was you, I've seen you and Castle together, you are pretty close.."

Charlie laughed in triumph and Kate rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, whatever..the two of you always did gang up on me.."

"Oh we're just teasing Katie, you know how much I want you to be happy and I think you could be with Castle."

"Exactly what I've been telling her," Charlie muttered and Kate poked her in the ribs.

Kate was saved the embarrassment of them continuing to tease her by the arrival of the waitress to clear their plates. "Would you like any dessert?" She asked.

"Chocolate fudge cake, please," Jim and Kate requested in unison, while Charlie crinkled her nose and asked for apple pie instead.

"The two of you always did go for the chocolate fudge cake," Charlie grumbled.

"Yep, and you and mom always had apple pie," Kate replied with a smile, it had sort of been their tradition when they were kids.

Jim watched his daughters, extremely proud of them both and so happy to have Charlie home. He had worried about their family being torn apart when Johanna had died, but he finally felt as though they were all at a point where they could live with it, now all he had to do was get his girls married so they could start giving him grandchildren!

* * *

After dessert, they paid the bill and left the restaurant, Jim bringing up Castle's bar - which Kate hadn't told Charlie about yet.

"What do you mean you haven't told her?" Jim asked in shock, "I thought the two of you would have been there the second Charlie touched down!"

"Yeah, well Katie here forgot she was supposed to be picking me up," Charlie grumbled, "I had to get a taxi to the precinct...oh god, you should have seen Castle's face when he saw me!"

"It was a picture, dad, it really was," Kate told him, "I think he thought he was in a parallel universe or something."

"Well, won't he be at the bar today? We could pop in and say hi..if you don't already have plans?"

Kate readily agreed but Charlie was a little more reluctant. "I um, is that uh a um, good.."

Jim chuckled when he realised what was stopping her. "Hey kid, don't worry about me, I'm good okay? It's been years and I've not been tempted once."

"Okay, if you're sure.." Charlie said, feeling slightly more reassured at Kate's nod and smile.

* * *

"Hey Kate!" Ellie, the manager called out when they walked into The Old Haunt. "It's been a while, how are you?"

"Hi, Ellie," Kate smiled back, "I'm good, thank you, just been a bit busy! Ellie, this is my twin sister, Charlie," she said, making the introductions.

"Oh uh, hi.." Ellie said, as shocked as everyone else that she had a twin.

"Don't worry about it," Charlie said, "it seems no one knows I exist."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Is Castle in?"

"Yeah, he's in his office, you can go down," Ellie told her.

"Oh, um are you sure? I could call him.."

"It's fine, he said his mother, Alexis and you are to go down if you ever turn up," Ellie smiled.

Beckett blushed and ignored the pointed looks from her father and sister. Heading down into his office, she called out as she walked in. "Hey, Castle? You here?"

"Beckett?" He replied, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh um, dad told Charlie about this place and we thought we'd pop by..we can come back another time if you're busy.."

"Oh no, just paperwork," he said and Beckett raised an eyebrow. "Just because I don't do paperwork at the precinct doesn't mean I don't do it here."

"Right," she said, "come on then, they're upstairs waiting."

Castle followed Beckett out of the office and they found Charlie and Jim sat in a booth reserved for friends of Castles. After a quick round of hellos, they ordered drinks and settled in to catch up, Jim and Rick talking business as if Castle knew what he was actually talking about.

"Kate!" Called a voice, "didn't know you'd be here, why-" Kate spun around to find Esposito and Ryan, accompanied by Ryan's wife, Jenny, and Lanie. It had been Lanie who had spoken and she was looking from Kate to Charlie in shock. "Why didn't you tell me Charlie was back?" She hissed and everyone looked to her in shock.

"I um, yeah, okay guys, Lanie knew about Charlie," well, how could she not have told Lanie, she was her best friend! "Sorry, Lanie, it completely slipped my mind.."

"That's true," Charlie said and she launched once again into the tale of how Kate had forgotten to pick her up from the airport.

The other four joined them and Castle ordered more drinks, listening once again as Kate explained to her friends why they didn't know about Charlie. He wasn't too shocked that Lanie knew about Charlie, but he was a little upset that she knew and Kate hadn't told him..

Half an hour later and Jim said he had to leave, a friend had invited him to a little get together and he was going to be late.

"Right, so now that your dad has gone, do we get the inappropriate stories on Beckett?" Espo asked with a grin.

"Sure!" Charlie said, "shall we get more drinks?"

Kate buried her head in her hands, goodness knows what Charlie was going to tell them all, she'd managed to keep her slightly wild past a secret - except now the one person who knew it all was back in town. Oh boy, this could be embarrassing..

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**A/N: I won't be updating for a few days, it's my birthday tomorrow (Monday) - yay! And then I have a university interview on Tuesday, but I'll try and update again on Wednesday. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, reviews would be a lovely birthday present ;)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: just to clear up the confusion of a guest reviewer - Lanie and Charlie hadn't met until now, but Lanie knew Charlie existed. Thank you all so much for the reviews - and the birthday wishes, you're all amazing! And here is my first chapter not being a teenager anymore ;)**

**PS: theres a couple of naughty words in this chapter, I'm leaving it as K+ but if you think it should be T then let me know and I'll change it! Basically just a little rude if you're about 12, any older and I'm sure you've heard worse!**

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Castle slipped out of the booth quietly, muttering something about getting more drinks. Kate watched him go, a slight frown forming on her face. Ever since their friends had arrived, Castle had been unusually quiet - not himself at all. Standing up, she followed him over to the bar and stood next to him.

"Hey," she said quietly, "you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Castle replied unconvincingly with a small smile.

"Uh huh, wanna try it again, make it sound a little more convincing?" Kate counteracted. She knew there was something bothering him and she was determined to get it out of him.

Castle looked at her. He wasn't fine, not really, he was upset and a little angry that Lanie had known about Charlie and he didn't. He knew Lanie and Beckett were best friends and they talked about things with each other that others didn't know, but this was pretty big. Four years they'd been working together and the whole time her and Lanie had known Charlie was out there and he hadn't been trusted with that information? Was she worried Nikki Heat would end up with a twin sister too or something?

"Okay, you're right, I'm not fine," he hissed, hoping their friends - and family in Kates case - were still engrossed in conversation enough to not realise he and Kate were about to have a fight in the middle of his bar. "I'm angry, actually. Angry that you trusted Lanie with the fact that you have a twin but not me. Worried I couldn't keep my mouth shut? Worried I'd have Nikki Heat with a twin sister too? Or were you worried I'd prefer her to you? Is that it, Beckett? Is that why you didn't tell me? You thought I'd meet Charlie and realise she's not as emotionally damaged as you?" He'd gone too far and he knew it the moment the words left his mouth. He should have stopped at the Nikki Heat thing but he was angry and he'd blurted out the words before he realised what he was saying.

Beckett stared at him shock for a moment before turning on her heel, striding back over to the table to grab her bag and marching out of the bar. Castle didn't even have a minute to figure out what had just happened before Lanie and Espo were demanding to know what he'd done.

Castle couldn't help but notice that the one person not looking at him like he'd just kicked a puppy was Charlie. He turned to her wearily and said, "shouldn't you be hanging me up by my balls or something right now?"

"What, for pissing Kate off? Jeez, if someone berated me every time I managed to do that then I wouldn't have come home," Charlie said, sending him a reassuring smile. The two of them had moved away from the others, standing at the bar where he and Kate had been just a few minutes ago. "Look, the reason you can piss her off that much is because she cares, okay? I don't know what you said to her, but I can pretty much guarantee that if it had been practically anyone else, she would have replied with some witty remark and not let it get to her. But this is you, whatever you said got to her.." She trailed off, wondering if Castle was actually going to tell her what he'd said to Kate.

Castle sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Just when he thought they'd been getting somewhere, he screwed it up again. "I was annoyed that Lanie knew about you and I didn't. I asked her if it was because she thought I'd prefer you.." Castle winced as he repeated his own words, he could see now why she had stormed out in such a huff.

"Ah," Charlie said with a grimace, "well, I can kinda see where she's coming from.."

"Yeah..oh god I've screwed up so bad," he groaned,sinking his head into his hands.

"Well yeah, you have but she'll come around, she's put up with you for this long hasn't she?" Charlie teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Mm yeah, I guess she has. I mean I didn't think she'd ever talk to me again after I-" he stopped myself just in time. Hadn't Beckett said Charlie didn't know about the advancements in their mothers case?

"After what?" Charlie said, narrowing her eyes at him in a way that Kate did at least once a day.

Castle hesitated. He didn't want to tell Charlie everything, Kate was angry enough at him already. But he could tell her the basics without giving anything away, right? "I uh, looked into your mothers case after she specifically asked me not to," he admitted.

To his surprise, Charlie laughed, "oh god, I bet she was so angry with you!" She knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of a pissed off Kate Beckett and it was not something she envied.

"Yeah, she was.."

"But she forgave you," Charlie reminded him, adding _because she loves you_ silently. "And she will again, you just need to give her time. Anyway, what happened when you looked into moms case?"

_Crap. What did he say now? 'Oh yeah, by the way we caught the guy who killed your mom and he was about to get away but Kate shot him. And now I'm doing my best to keep her safe from whoever the hell wants to kill her but she doesn't know about it, so that's probably another reason she's going to hate me forever.' _Yeah, or not. "I um, think you should ask Kate about that.." He evaded, desperate to stay out of this the best he could.

"Castle," she warned, in a way that reminded him scarily of Kate.

Well, he was really in trouble now. "Look, you need to talk to Kate, okay? It's not up to me to tell you."

Charlie could see she wasn't going to get a straight answer out of Castle and made a mental note to ask Kate about it later. "Right, well come on, let's get more drinks."

"No you're alright, I'm going to go home, figure out how the hell I'm going to make this up to her.." Castle said gloomily.

"Okay," Charlie smiled. "She'll come around, I promise."

Castle shot her a small smile and said goodbye to the others before heading out into the late afternoon sunshine.

Castle was halfway back to his apartment when he changed his mind. Leaning forward, he asked the cab driver to turn around, rattling off Beckett's address instead. Screw giving her time, he'd given her four years of fucking time, he needed to apologise and he was going to do it now whether she wanted him to or not.

Standing outside her door, he ran his hands through his hair and knocked, nervously waiting for her to answer. The door swung open and then almost completely shut again when she saw who it was but he stopped it with his foot.

"Beckett, wait, please," he pleaded, "just let me explain."

He sensed her hesitation and used it to his advantage, pushing the door gently until it was opened wide enough for him to enter her apartment. She sighed and spun around, retreating away from him, clearly still angry.

"Beckett..Kate..I'm sorry."

"Great, now you can go," she replied sharply, not even bothering to hide the fact she quite clearly didn't want him here.

"I'm not leaving until I've explained and you understand," he said, standing his ground. He came here to give her an explanation and that's what he was going to do, even if it took him all night.

"Do you want me to arrest you for stalking or..trespassing or something?"

She was sexy when she was angry. The way her eyes narrowed at him, the scowl on her face..all of it, she was so fucking hot and damn near irresistible. "Anyone ever tell you that you have a smart mouth?" He quipped, grinning at her.

Damn him and his stupid blue eyes and his charming smile. God the man was infuriating but no matter how much he'd pissed her off earlier, she was still completely and utterly in love with him. _Dammit_. "Just pointing out the facts, Castle," she replied. "I'm not going to get rid of you am I?" She asked and he shook his head. Rolling her eyes, she said, "okay then, out with it, say whatever it is you came here to say and then you can go."

Castle was suddenly lost for words. He opened his mouth a few times but promptly closed it again when he realised he had no clue what to say.

"You came here to impersonate a goldfish?" She asked, a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth.

The sass was back and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a complete turn on. He was flooded with visions of her muttering smart ass comments in his ear before he made her forget her own name, never mind what she was saying. "Very funny," he replied, "no, I came here to say I was sorry and I didn't mean what I said. It was out of order and I shouldn't have said it and I apologise."

He sounded so sincere that she almost told him to forget it and that it was fine, but she was still a little hurt at his comments and she wanted to know why. "So why did you say it then?" She asked quietly.

"I was angry. I could just about cope with you not telling me about Charlie if no one knew, but then Lanie came in and it turned out she'd known all along. I know she's your best friend and the two of you have secrets together, but I guess I just felt that you didn't trust me enough or something." He was perfectly aware that he sounded like a fifteen year old girl with a crush right now but he didn't care, he needed her to forgive him - preferably before she found out he'd brought up their moms case with Charlie.

"You were right to be angry. I should have told you, I know that, but please Castle, please don't you ever think I don't trust you because I do, more than anyone I've ever met and sometimes more than Charlie."

"Come here, you," he said, pulling her into his arms and wrapping her into a tight hug. "I know you trust me okay?" He felt her nod against his chest. "You mean a hell of a lot to me Kate and I'm so sorry for what I said, because I can promise you that Charlie could walk in here in her sexiest underwear and I'd still want you in your sweatpants. I'm not going to lie and say she's not hot cause that would just be stupid," he heard her chuckle slightly and he smiled. "But I want you Kate, only you."

"Castle, I-"

He hushed her before she could finish, "ssh, Kate, it's okay. I know you're not ready to hear that and I've accepted it. I'm here whenever you need me, okay?"

Kate didn't know what to say. Before he had stopped her, she was on the verge of telling him she loved him but then he had stopped her. It wasn't necessarily the fact that he had stopped her, more the fact that he had said once again that he knew she wasn't ready. When she told Castle how in love with him she was, she needed him to know she meant it and right now, just after he'd said he understood she wasn't ready, didn't seem the right time.

But how much more time did she have? Four years they'd been doing this dance and the music was about to stop. She wasn't too sure how much longer she could fight these feelings she had for him. And like Charlie had said, he wasn't going to wait forever.

"No, it's not that," she began, "it's-"

"Oh there you are I've been calling your phone for ages! Oh, sorry, did I interrupt.." Charlie called out as she entered the apartment using the spare key Kate had given her.

Kate could have murdered her - she was sure Castle would help her hide the body. Talk about bad timing! She couldn't wait to tell Charlie about what she'd just interrupted..

"Well, given that you aren't shouting at each other I'm assuming you sorted things out," Charlie stated before turning to Castle. "See, I told you she'd forgive you! Oh, actually seeing you reminded me - Kate, what haven't you told me about moms case?"

Kate's eyes widened in shock before narrowing them at Castle.

Oh crap, he thought, maybe she had forgiven him too soon.

"Castle.." She said, "what did you say?"

* * *

**A/N: anyone notice the KB line I stole from 5x02?! This is taking a slightly different turn to how I planned it, but I hope you're all still enjoying it!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Charlie and Castle will not be happening people! I've come up with an idea to help though, will work it in when I can!**

******I know some of you are just waiting for Caskett to happen, and I can promise you it will but I'm working up to it! Also, I'd just like to point out that I currently have no intention of stopping this story as soon as Caskett get together, I'm planning on continuing after that if you're still with me at that point :)**

**Little warning - gets a bit angsty towards the end of this chapter!**

* * *

_"...Kate, what haven't you told me about moms case?"_

_Kate's eyes widened in shock before narrowing them at Castle._

Oh crap_, he thought, _maybe she had forgiven him too soon.

_"Castle.." She said, "what did you say?"_

* * *

Castle didn't know what to do. He knew bringing up Johanna's case wouldn't end well, even if he had brought it up by accident. He had just kinda hoped that he wouldn't have been around when Charlie decided to question her sister but apparently, that wasn't happening.

"I um..I didn't say anything.." He replied, half truthfully. He hadn't really told Charlie anything, just that he had looked into the case and that she should talk to Kate about it, shouldn't be that much of a big deal, right?

"Oh, so it's just a coincidence that Charlie has come home, seen you as her reminder and asked what's going on?" Kate asked skeptically, she couldn't believe he'd brought it up with Charlie, she'd told him how happy she was to just have her sister back and how it had almost torn them apart when their mom had died and this was what he did?

Castle winced, when she put it like that, she had a pretty big point.. "Okay look, Charlie was saying that you'd forgive me for what I said earlier - and I said you'd forgiven me for worse, like the time I looked into your mothers case. Except I didn't exactly say that, I stopped myself but little miss interrogation over there got it out of me. All I said was that I looked into it and if she wanted to know anymore then she should ask you."

"Which I am," Charlie supplied helpfully.

If Beckett wasn't still pretty angry at all that Castle had done today, she would have laughed. She knew herself just how well Charlie could extract information people didn't think they'd ever admit. Still, none of this would be happening if Castle had kept his mouth shut in the first place.

It wasn't that she was against telling Charlie everything that had happened in the past few years, it was that she was worried about Charlie's reaction. She'd literally just got her sister back and now, thanks to Castle, that might not be lasting much longer, the last thing she wanted was for Charlie to fly off somewhere else but short of kidnapping her, Kate couldn't stop her.

"Maybe I should go.." Castle suggested tentatively, slowly edging his way towards the door.

"Richard Castle you take one more step towards that door and I swear to god I'm going to shoot you," Beckett warned with an icy glare that had Castle stopping any form of movement. "Why did you even bring it up in the first place?" She asked.

Castle didn't even have time to formulate an answer before Charlie jumped in. "Hey, Kate," she said, rather coolly, "don't go blaming him for saying something, from what I can gather it sounds like there's plenty you should have told me by now but haven't." Kate avoided Charlie's gaze and that gave the other twin all she needed to know. "Oh, so you have been keeping stuff from me then? And yet you're stood here having a go at Castle when something he said accidentally just so happens to be the thing you're hiding from me."

Charlie's tone strongly reminded Castle of Beckett's voice when she was particularly angry or frustrated. Usually at him, sometimes at a suspect, but he could tell it was working, Beckett was unusually quiet given that Charlie was potentially starting an argument.

"Castle," Charlie said and he drew his gaze away from Kate to look at her twin. "Thank you for accidentally saying what you did today, it seems to be fairly important. You're welcome to stay, but unless you want to see Kate and I when we get really mad at each other, maybe you shouldn't be here.."

Castle was actually contemplating staying, purely for the fact that Kate and Charlie getting angry at each other was sure to be highly _entertaining_ to say the least, but then he remembered that Kate was still sort of angry at him, and if he were to stay, she would end up dragging him into an argument too, so he figured it was probably best to leave them to it. Kate Beckett angry at other people - cool. Kate Beckett angry at him - not cool.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go," he said, walking over to the door, "I'll uh, call you later," he added to Kate, who just shrugged and remained silent. He didn't envy Charlie right now, although she'd done nothing wrong, he was fairly sure that Kate wasn't in the mood for the conversation they were about to have and that was never going to end well. With half a smile at Charlie, he slipped out of the apartment leaving the girls to talk. Or scream and shout, he wasn't hanging around to find out.

Once Castle had left, the apartment was eerily silent for a few moments. It was Charlie who broke the tension, sinking onto the couch and saying, "so, what haven't you told me?"

Kate stayed rooted to the spot for a minute before joining her sister on the couch, she sighed as she sat down and contemplated where to start? Where she killed Coonan? Montgomery's involvement? That fact that she still wasn't safe? But then four years of working with Castle hit her - all good stories should start at the beginning, which in this case was Rick looking into the case when she had asked him not to.

"So Castle told you he looked into moms case?" Charlie nodded and Kate continued. "Well what he didn't tell you was that he found something that blew the whole thing wide open - it wasn't a random mugging, Char, mom was murdered as a hired hit."

"Wh..I, how? Why?" Charlie was lost for words. For the last thirteen years she had believed what the police had told them - that their mom was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had accepted that and moved on, but now Kate was telling her it hadn't been random?

Kate sighed again, she was really starting to wish Castle was still here, he'd be able to help her explain it so much better than she could do alone. Where did she start? "Castle had some top rate forensic pathologist look over the case files and he noticed that the wounds were inflicted by someone who knew what they were doing. We didn't really have much more to go on at that point, but a couple of months later, we had a victim in homicide with matching stab wounds. Eventually, after being played by the victims brother, we figured it was the brother who had killed mom - Dick Coonan his name was," she paused letting out a shaky breath. Now that she had started she felt a little easier, but she still wasn't looking forward to explaining the rest.

"Wait, was?" Charlie questioned and Kate nodded.

"Yeah, he'd already signed the papers when we realised it was him. He pulled a gun on Castle and made us walk him out. My captain at the time, Montgomery, realised what was happening and stopped us and I managed to talk him down. I knew without a doubt that Coonan would kill Castle in a heartbeat and I couldn't let him do that."

"So you were just gonna let moms killer back out onto the streets?" Charlie asked and Kate didn't miss the anger in her voice.

"Charlie, I'd spent the best part of ten years desperate to find something in that case but I finally put it to rest a little while before Castle came along. Nothing we did would ever bring mom back but letting Coonan go was the only way of making sure Alexis didn't end up like us. Her mom isn't around, Castle is all she has, well apart from her grandmother, but I couldn't do that to her, make her go through what we went through," Kate explained, desperate for Charlie to see her reasoning.

"Okay I see your point," Charlie conceded, "so what happened next?"

"Castle managed to get away from Coonan, but he pulled his gun on Castle so I did what I was trained to do - I shot him."

"Good," was all Charlie responded. "What?" She asked at the look Kate gave her, "that man killed our mom and he deserved nothing less!"

"Mm, I guess you're right but it means that we still don't know who was behind it, given that I killed the one person who could have told us."

"Look, Kate, you did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were right - I know you couldn't have lived with yourself if you hadn't done everything you could to stop Alexis being left without her dad. So, is that all you know?" She asked.

"Uh no..so you know how I was shot at Montgomery's funeral?" Charlie nodded and Kate explained the rest of what they knew, with Montgomery's small involvement and how he'd died to protect her, but that she still wasn't completely safe and she knew she wouldn't be unless they ever found out who was behind it all.

"And I take it Castle knows all of this?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, he's been there with me for it all, Char. I hated him for doing what he did but I know he was only trying to help and I guess he did. I couldn't have done it without him, I wouldn't have survived another minute looking into that case if I didn't have him by my side every step of the way."

"So," Charlie said, "why are you still sitting here? Go and get your man, Katie."

"No, not now," Kate said, "I'm still angry at him for what he's done today, I think it's best we have some time to cool off."

Something in what Kate said flipped a switch for Charlie. "What is your problem, Kate?" She half shouted, shocking Kate as she did. "The man has been there for you say in, day out and yet you're still blaming him for something you did? It's your fault I didn't know about what you'd found in moms case because you didn't bother to freaking tell me. Afraid I couldn't handle it? I guess I'm not the indestructible Kate Beckett after all, maybe I did need protecting," she spat out sarcastically. She was angry, seething actually, that Kate had failed to tell her all of this when she should have done but was still blaming Castle for letting something slip accidentally.

"Charlie," Beckett pleaded, "come on, it wasn't like that-"

"Wasn't it? Because from where I'm sitting we're having this conversation about two years too late, I should have been one of the first people to be told when you caught moms killer and the same when you found out more. But no, I wasn't here so I didn't matter. You know what, maybe there's a reason you and Castle aren't together, maybe you're just too selfish for anyone who could possibly give a damn about you," she shouted, jumping off of the couch and grabbing her jacket before disappearing out of the apartment before Kate could even realise what had just happened.

Three hours later and Kate was pacing the apartment. She had tried calling Charlie at least ten times but all calls had gone to voicemail - Charlie didn't want to talk to her. The only comfort Kate had was knowing that she hadn't taken her passport, meaning she couldn't just jump on a flight to escape.

Her cell rang and she grabbed it quickly and pressed the answer button. "Charlie?" She asked quickly.

"Uh no, it's me," came Castles voice. "Everything okay?"

Hearing his voice just resurrected her anger - perhaps Charlie was right and she shouldn't have blamed Castle for what he'd said, but if he hadn't then Charlie would still be here right now and Kate wouldn't be worrying about the many possible disasters that could have happened.

"No, everything is not okay! Thanks to you not keeping your mouth shut, Charlie got angry with me and stormed out. That was three hours ago and she isn't answering my calls and I have no idea where she is!"

Surprisingly, Castle seemed just as angry. "Don't you dare blame me for that, Kate. I know I shouldn't have said anything but all I said was that I looked into the case, I didn't tell her anything about what had happened - given that you should have done that years ago. But then again, you're good at avoiding conversations that don't play to your advantage, aren't you?" He said before disconnecting the call without warning.

Kate froze in shock. Not only was her sister out somewhere angry with her, now Castle was too. And the worst thing was that they were both right - she should have told Charlie everything when it happened and Castle was right about it not playing to her advantage - she'd almost lost Charlie with how she'd handled their moms murder and the reason she hadn't told her what she'd found was so that she didn't lose her for good.

Picking up her cell again, she scrolled through her contacts before pressing dial. It rang a few times before it was picked up, "Lanie," she half whispered into the phone, "I've screwed up.." And she cut off the call, tears streaming down her face.

* * *

**A/N: *hides under pillows whilst waiting for responses* - I'm like 98% sure that a fair few of you aren't going to like this chapter because it wasn't fun and fluffy, but I would still appreciate some feedback - just please please don't be _too_ mean! And please don't give up on it just yet, happier times are coming!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: thank you for your reassurances on the last chapter, feeling a lot better about it now! Getting another update in today, aren't you lucky ;)**

******Changing the rating to T, simply out of precaution and some suggestive comments..but it probably won't be long and it'll need it anyway, so I'm changing it now!**

* * *

_Picking up her cell again, she scrolled through her contacts before pressing dial. It rang a few times before it was picked up, "Lanie," she half whispered into the phone, "I've screwed up.." And she cut off the call, tears streaming down her face._

* * *

Thirty minutes after Kate had put the phone down and collapsed onto her couch in tears, the front door swung open to reveal Lanie.

"Hey, Kate," she said as she walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Oh god, Lanie, I've made such a mess of things!"

"Where's Charlie?" Lanie asked, looking around the room for her.

"Not here. Don't know where she is. She left. We argued," Kate said, unable to string together a coherent sentence.

"About what?" Lanie asked, moving in to sit next to Kate and giving her hand a quick squeeze.

"Castle. Me. Moms case." She took a deep breath and continued. "At the bar earlier Castle accidentally let slip that he'd looked into the case but that Charlie needed to talk to me about it. Castle came over to apologise for earlier when Charlie got home and asked what I hadn't told her."

"And let me guess, you blamed Castle for that even though you should have told Charlie ages ago?" Lanie deduced and Kate nodded. "Oh sweetie, come here," she said, hugging her tightly. "So did you tell Charlie everything?"

"Pretty much. Castle left and I explained most of it to her, she seemed okay at first that I hadn't told her sooner, but then she said something about me going to see Castle and when I said no, she flopped. Started shouting at me about blaming Castle when it was my fault and that I was just being selfish. And then she stormed out and I don't know where is, she isn't answering my calls!"

"And Castle?"

"He called just before I called you. And I..oh god I got angry with him for bringing it up," she sobbed, a fresh wave of tears flowing down her face. "And then he flipped out on me, saying it wasn't his fault..god Lanie what have I done? My sister and my...whatever he is both hate me and I don't know how to fix this!"

"Kate, look at me," Lanie said sternly and Kate raised her head to meet Lanie's gaze. "You've screwed up, okay? I'm not going to lie and say you haven't because I can see where Castle and Charlie are coming from and they're probably right. But despite that, I'm not going to walk out of here and leave you like this because I'm your best friend, okay?" Kate nodded, attempting a small smile. "You've been a complete idiot but Charlie will forgive you, you know she will, she's your sister. As for Castle..well you know him better than I do but I'm pretty sure making it up to him isn't going to be so easy.."

"I know they're both angry with me and they have a right to be, I just want to know that Charlie is okay!" Kate said.

"You want me to call her?" Lanie asked, "give me her number and I'll call from my phone, see if she'll answer to someone else." Kate did as she asked and waited patiently while Lanie dialled the number and wandered into the kitchen, she could hear talking but could make out what was being said. A few minutes later, Lanie came back into the living room, "she's fine, she's at your dads," she announced and Kate let out a sigh of relief.

"So why didn't she just tell me that!"

"She said she's still angry with you and she just needs some time..give her a couple of days and then you can call her and apologise, it'll be fine, I promise."

"And Castle?"

"Girl, I can't help you there. The man has done everything he possibly can to make you realise the two of you belong together and yet you're still fighting it, what more do you want him to do? No, this is all on you now Kate, it's up to you to decide what happens with you and Castle and let me tell you, if it doesn't end in hot, steamy make up sex then you're doing it all wrong."

For the first time since leaving the bar that night, Kate laughed, trust Lanie to put it like that. "Thank you, Lanie, for everything. I know I screwed up but I don't know what I would have done without you..you're right, I'll give Charlie a day or two to cool off and then apologise..Castle, I have no clue yet, but I'll figure something out."

"You're welcome honey," Lanie said, "now, do you need me to stay the night or are you okay now?"

"You're always welcome to stay, Lanie, you know that, but judging how close you and Javi were earlier on, I'm assuming he's somewhere waiting for you?"

"Mm, well he did say to call if I wanted to see him.." Lanie replied with a grin.

"Then go get him," Kate said, "you've done more than enough for me, go have some fun!"

"Oh and how fun it will be..he can do this thing with his-"

"Okay okay!" Kate shouted. "The guy is like my brother, Lanie, I don't want details!"

"You're missing out, honey," Lanie chuckled as she headed to the door, "and don't think when you and writer boy finally get it on that I won't be wanting details!" She added as she hugged Kate and left, leaving the apartment in silence once again.

Kate ran herself a bath to relax, before slipping into bed and attempting to sleep, desperately trying to push thoughts of Castle from her mind.

* * *

"Okay guys, we're done," Kate announced. Their suspect had just confessed and was being charged as they spoke, meaning the end of the day - and the week for them, with just paperwork left to finish up.

"Brilliant, let's get out of here," Espo said and he and Ryan grabbed their coats ready to head out. "We're going for a drink, Beckett, you coming?"

"No, not tonight guys," she said, "I'm just gonna finish up this paperwork and head home, see you Monday?"

The boys rattled off a goodbye and rushed out of the precinct. It had been a long, hard week and it was a relief to finally be able to get out of there. It had been even harder for Beckett - Castle hadn't made an appearance all week. She'd called him when their first body dropped on Monday morning but he didn't answer. A little while later, he had text to say he was busy writing and he'd pop in later if he could. That was five days ago and she hadn't heard from him since, he must have written a whole book by now.

Espo and Ryan had questioned her on it on Monday afternoon, but she'd given them the same excuse Castle had given her and they had said no more about it, even taking it in turns to make her coffee, which she really appreciated, she was lucky to have those two on her team, but it just didn't feel right without Castle. Over the past four years he had situated himself right in the middle of it and now that he wasn't around things were off. No one had any crazy theories and it was starting to feel like it did when he wasn't around.

Pushing thoughts of Castle away for now, Kate made a start on the paperwork and didn't look up for a good twenty minutes, when she heard the sound of the elevator ping. Swivelling round in her chair, she craned her neck to see who it was - the time was gone 6.30 on a Friday, everyone had already left for the weekend.

"You finished yet?" Came Charlie's voice as she rounded the corner.

"Just about, why?" Kate asked, putting the files away in her desk.

"Because we're going out. You, me, Lanie and Jenny. Dinner and cocktails, get you out of this funk you're in," Charlie said, plonking herself down in Castle's - no, the _empty_ - chair next to Kate's desk.

"I'm not in a funk!" Kate denied and Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe I am a little, but really? Dinner and cocktails?"

"Oh come on, it'll be fun! Lanie mentioned something about a Mexican place she knows you like, her and Jenny are meeting us there at 8, when gives us just enough time to get you showered and changed," Charlie announced with a smile, "chop chop, we don't have all night!"

Rolling her eyes Kate reluctantly left her chair, following Charlie out of the precinct. Maybe this is just what she needed though, a night with the girls and a lot of alcohol. Feeling slightly more optimistic, she looped her arm through Charlie's and started telling her about the best cocktails in Manhattan.

Kate had bitten the bullet midweek and had met with Charlie to apologise. They'd met at the coffee shop Kate and Castle a bad gone to the night Charlie had come home, and Kate had once again pushed thoughts of him from her mind.

* * *

_Charlie was already waiting when Kate arrived, she'd left the precinct, telling Espo and Ryan she had an errand to run. Luckily, they'd decided that Castle not showing up this week was bad enough for her and hadn't called her out on it._

_"Hey," she smiled, sliding into the seat opposite Charlie._

_"Hi," Charlie returned, without the smile. _

_So that was how it was going to be was it? "Look, Charlie, I know you're angry with me but I'm sorry, okay? You were right, I was blaming Castle when it was my fault and I shouldn't have done." She took a deep breath and continued her apology. "And I know I should have told you about moms case sooner but it practically ripped us apart at the time, I couldn't face losing you for good, even if you were on the other side of the world."_

_"I uh, might have overreacted slightly.." Charlie admitted sheepishly._

_"It wasn't anything I didn't need need, though," Kate told her with a smile. "I guess you could say it kicked my ass into gear and made me realise what I was doing. To you and to Castle."_

_"Have you spoken to him?"_

_"Not since the other night," Kate said and she launched into the story of how she'd got angry with Castle again and that they hadn't seen each other all week, including Lanie's involvement. "So Lanie told it to me straight and here we are, and um I was kinda hoping you would be able to forgive me for what I've done.."_

_"Oh Katie, of course I forgive you! I'm not saying you did the right thing but I know you, I know you have reasons for everything you do and even if they weren't the right reasons they felt right to you at the time. But I promise you, I'm not running away again okay? I've missed you and dad so much, I couldn't leave again, no matter what happens."_

_"Good. 'Cause now that I've got my sister back I have no intention of ever letting her leave ever again!" Kate grinned, "so, we're good?"_

_"Yeah, Katherine, we're good."_

_"Shut up, Charlotte," Kate replied with a wink, the two of them falling back into their old teasing routines. Now all she had to do was square things out with Castle._

* * *

"Kate!" Charlie called from the lounge, "are you ready?"

"Yeah, two seconds," Kate called back, checking her appearance one last time before heading out to join Charlie.

"Wow, you look hot!" Charlie grinned and Kate couldn't help but laugh.

"Charlie, we look exactly the same - if I look hot then so do you."

"Exactly," she replied, taking Kate's hand and dragging her out the door. "Come on or we're going to be late and I'm starving!"

Kate rolled her eyes and allowed herself to be led out by her sister. She was pretty happy with her appearance tonight, she'd borrowed a dress from Charlie - it was a hot pink number that covered her from her collarbone to the top of her thighs. On the left hand side, there was a slit running from the bottom of the dress up to where her thigh met her torso, pinned together with giant dress pins. She'd teamed it with sky high bright pink stiletto heels and a nude clutch, leaving her hair down and curly and had added more eyeliner and a light pink gloss to her lips.

Charlie had straightened out her curls, which at least would make it easier for Jenny and Lanie to tell them apart. She'd decided on a jade green bodycon dress of Kate's that hugged her figure perfectly, and she'd slipped on black heels. They both looked amazing and Charlie knew it, they weren't going to be short of attention tonight.

They arrived at the restaurant, which was also a bar and headed inside to meet the other two. "Wanna make them guess?" Charlie muttered into Kate's ear as they walked to the table, bringing back the game they had played when they were younger, making people guess which one was which, and giving away as little as possible.

"Sure," Kate replied, "10 bucks says Lanie figures it out."

"You're on," Charlie replied as they reached the table.

"There you two are, we were starting to get worried!" Lanie said, "okay, so you gonna tell us who is who?" She asked, "I might be your best friend, Kate, but even I can't tell you apart right now."

"Nope, we're gonna make you guess," Kate grinned as her and Charlie stood opposite Lanie.

"Ooo, this sounds like fun!" Jenny said and the four of them laughed.

"Well," Lanie began, "that green dress is one of Kate's, but that doesn't mean anything, the two of you are the same size. But I haven't seen the pink one before - either it's new or it's Charlie's."

Kate was impressed at Lanie's knowledge of her wardrobe, they weren't the same size so they didn't borrow each other's clothes but Lanie still seemed to know that she hadn't seen this pink dress before.

Lanie surveyed them both for a few minutes before coming to her decision. "Okay, Kate is in pink, Charlie is in green."

"What makes you think that?" Charlie asked. Lanie was right, of course, but she wanted to know how she'd figured it out.

"Well you two might have thought you were being clever, but the slit in that dress means you can see Kate's tattoo," Lanie stated simply. "Does Castle know where it is yet? She asked Kate.

"No," Kate replied with a laugh. Trust Lanie to use that as her way of differentiating between them. Glancing down, she realised that her tattoo on her thigh was just visible through the part in her dress. It started just above her hip and finished at the top of her thigh and she still hadn't told Castle where it was, maybe one day soon he'd see it for himself.

"You owe me ten bucks," Kate said to Charlie as they sat down, Charlie opposite Lanie and Kate opposite Jenny.

"You had a bet on it?" Jenny asked in amusement, she didn't know Kate that well and finding out she had a twin had been a shock but it was proving to be quite fun.

"Yep and as usual my sister won," Charlie grumbled. "Okay okay, here you go," she said, pulling the money from her purse. "Now, we need drinks!"

They ordered two pitchers of sex on the beach to start and began drinking and chatting.

"So," Charlie began, looking to Lanie. "Kate tells me you and Espo have a...thing."

"Mm, Kevin mentioned something about that too," Jenny chimed in.

"What?" Lanie asked, seeing all three women looking at her, "we're just having a bit of fun, no harm in it," she said with a grin.

"So it's not serious?" Jenny asked, looking slightly crestfallen. "I was hoping Javi would settle down soon," she paused at the look of horror on Lanie's face. "Oh no, I don't mean anything by it, I just want Javi to be as happy as Kev and I." A dreamy look appeared on Jenny's face and she blushed. "God, I'm sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes and the alcohol doesn't help!"

"Don't worry about it," Kate said with a laugh, "you're lucky, you've got a man who loves you unconditionally and it's obvious you love him too!"

"Yeah and if you stopped being so stubborn you'd be just as happy," Charlie muttered and Lanie grinned at her.

"See," Lanie said, "I'm not the only one who can see it!"

"Oh no," Jenny joined in, "it's obvious you and Rick should be together, Kev's been saying it for a couple of years now!"

Kate blushed, she knew Lanie's views on the matter and had kind of figured Charlie would agree, but hearing Jenny talk about it too just made her realise how much she'd screwed things up.

"Okay, shall we order some food?" Kate suggested loudly, trying to steer the conversation away from her non-existent relationship with Castle.

"We're just teasing, Kate. We just want you to be happy," Lanie said.

"I know," she told them with a smile. "Now, I think we need more drinks too, the first lot seem to have gone pretty quickly!"

* * *

Their evening passed with more drinks and food and a lot of laughter. By the time dessert had been cleared, the four of them were rather tipsy and conversation had moved onto embarrassing situations when they were teenagers.

"Our parents once caught Kate sneaking out at 11 at night..instead of saying anything, dad followed her in his car and waited until she'd gone into this party she was going to, went in behind her and embarrassed her in front of everyone," Charlie said, reminding Kate of the event.

"I think dad was more embarrassed though," Kate laughed, "when he walked in I was playing tonsil tennis with someone he definitely would not approve of."

"Nobody would approve of him, Kate, I swear the guy didn't shower or wash his hair, I don't know what you were thinking!"

"I was trying to rebel against anything I possibly could, didn't even go to prom, remember?"

"So you two weren't into the same guys then?" Jenny asked.

"Well, technically you could say yes - Kate was into practically anyone back then," Charlie teased.

"You know, I would deny it but it's kinda true," Kate admitted. "I wasn't as bad as Charlie is making out though, I was in a relationship with most of them..they just didn't last very long!"

"Mm, I think Ashley was the longest until you were about 22 right?" Charlie said and she didn't miss the blush appearing on Kate's face. "You haven't told them about Ashley?!" She asked and Kate shook her head.

"Who's Ashley? Is he still around or something?" Lanie asked.

"_She_ lives in Texas," Charlie said, "on a ranch or something right?"

Lanie almost spat her drink out. "She?!" She spluttered.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Yes, Charlie is telling the truth, when I was 20 I was in a relationship with a girl. It was only like three months or something but it was fun while it lasted."

"Does Castle know?" Lanie, Charlie and Jenny asked in unison.

"No, and he isn't going to," she warned.

"Oh god, please can we tell him, I need to see his face!" Charlie giggled and Lanie joined in.

"Pretty pretty please, I'd love to see you make him speechless!"

"Trust me, I don't need to tell him _that_ to make him speechless," Kate told them with a wink, eliciting another round of giggles.

"Katherine Beckett I never," Lanie said in mock horror, "are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"If it involves me and Castle naked then yes, probably," Kate laughed. She hadn't felt this good all week, the alcohol was helping but she knew this chat was just banter between friends and they wouldn't tell anyone.

"I want details," Jenny said, surprising them all. "What? He's got a bit of a reputation, hasn't he, I want to know if he's as good as the stories say!"

"Well maybe I should go and find out," Kate said playfully, earning shocked looks from the three other women. Well, she had to apologise somehow, didn't she.

* * *

**A/N: this chapter is a little happier! The pink dress I'm putting Kate in is the one Stana wore to the CBGB premiere because she looked hot, google it if you haven't seen it! Reviews greatly appreciated :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: so here I was worrying chapter 9 would be the one you all hated and it turns out it was chapter 10! Can I just point out that Kate hasn't actually gone to see Castle yet and I haven't decided whether or not she will whilst drunk. All I know is that an apology is coming soon.**

**I've been crazy busy at work this week and haven't had a chance to write anything. I have about half an hour now so no promises it'll be any good, but I have a four day weekend this weekend so I'll try to get a few chapters up then!**

**Anyway, thought we'd switch it up a bit and have the past week from Castle's point of view. I know it's short, but I was going to not write until the weekend but thought I'd give you a little filler until then!**

* * *

Richard Castle was sat at his desk, laptop open in front of him with a blank page showing on the screen. He was supposed to be writing another chapter, it had been due four days ago and Gina was getting antsy. Well, Gina was always antsy, but this time she was threatening to come over personally and sit there until he'd written her a decent chapter and one thing Castle didn't want was a visit from his publisher.

The thing was, he didn't know what to write. Rook and Nikki were at a crossroads currently, and he didn't know which way to take them - because he didn't know which way he and his muse were going. It was Friday evening and he hadn't seen Beckett since the previous Sunday, hadn't spoken to her since their argument over Charlie. He had spoken to Alexis, Charlie was fine - she'd gone to her dads apparently to get away from Kate a bit, but he didn't know what had gone down between them. As much as he was angry with her, he still hoped she was okay. He had ignored her call on Monday morning and sent a text about half an hour or so later to say he was writing but he'd pop in if he could - he hadn't and she hadn't called since.

It was a hard one because he missed her desperately but at the same time he was pissed off. He knew bringing up their moms case with a Charlie was a mistake but he hadn't really told her anything he shouldn't have and the fact that Beckett hadn't told her what they'd achieved in the past two years was ridiculous, he didn't care how much they'd argued and disagreed over it before, the girl still deserved to know who had killed her mom, period.

So this time, it was up to her. He wasn't going to go running back and apologise, he was going to take a leaf out of her book and be as stubborn as a mule. She wanted him back? She could come and apologise. He would say he didn't know if he would go back even if she did come and apologise, but no matter what had happened he was still hopelessly in love with her and waiting for her to admit she was wrong was killing him.

It was one of the things he loved about her though, the fact that she was so stubborn. Obviously right now it wasn't really working in his favour but he admired the fact that she stood by her decisions and didn't back down. He just had to hope she was planning on backing down soon because he was miserable.

Besides the fact that he was in love with her, she was his best friend. She put up with his crazy theories and outlandish comments and she respected the fact that sometimes he couldn't be there because being a dad came first. She had a good relationship with his daughter and he knew Alexis looked up to Kate.

All he wanted was Kate Beckett to wake up in his bed every morning and come home to him every night..maybe with a child or two in there at some point. _Oh god_, he thought, as he remembered what she'd accidentally overhead at their breakfast last weekend. She hadn't called him up on on it yet though, perhaps she had forgotten..ha, probably not, she was just too busy with other things to bring it back up again. What kept him going though was the fact that she hadn't completely freaked out, that would have been the reaction he would have expected from her..maybe she had thought about it too..

He couldn't push her though, no matter how much he wanted her. She was closed off and private, which he respected - the harder he pushed the further away he'd push her. He thought he'd managed okay so far, she'd always taken him back when he'd screwed up and he just had to keep the balance right so as not to upset the applecart.

Glancing back up at his laptop, he was astonished to realise he'd written over four thousand words. How did that happen? Glancing back over his work, he read through it and realised that while he'd been lost in his thoughts, his fingers had worked of their own accord and had produced some quality writing. Well, that would keep Gina happy, he just had to add a few more paragraphs here and there and he'd have the latest chapter in Nikki and Rooks story. Now he just had to figure out how the story between him and a Beckett was going to play out.

One thing was for sure though, Katherine Beckett was his and he'd spend the rest of his life proving that to her if that's what it took.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sure this chapter won't be a popular one, and I think it's the shortest chapter I've ever written but I'm out of time - I'll be back Friday!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: let's see how many chapters I can get out on this long weekend then! PS: thank you for the reviews so far, you're amazing!**

* * *

The first thing Kate realised when she woke up was that she wasn't in her own bed - or a bed that looked or felt familiar come to that. She glanced around the room at her surroundings and wondered where the hell she was - nothing looked familiar and she couldn't see out of the window to determine which part of town she was in. Shifting under the covers, she made to sit up but swiftly collapsed back against the pillow when her vision went blurry and her head went fuzzy.

"Woah," she muttered to herself, pressing the heel of her hands into her eyes. A few moments later, she tried to sit up again - more slowly this time. She looked to the other side of the bed but saw it was still pretty much untouched - no one had slept in the bed with her. Well that was good, at least she hadn't been stupid enough to go home with some random guy - not that Lanie or Charlie would have let her.

Wait, Lanie and Charlie. Where were they? Clambering out of bed, she stood up, realising she was wearing a t-shirt and shorts that she didn't recognise. Frowning, she padded slowly to the door and opened, it, walking out into a familiar hallway. She followed it round and entered the living room - Lanie's living room, now she recognised it. Glancing up, she noticed Lanie and Charlie were sitting on the couch together, steaming mugs of coffee in their hands. Coffee - god, how had she not smelt it?!

"Ah, you're up," Charlie said with a grin. "How're you feeling?"

"Like a herd of cows trampled over my head," Kate grumbled, sinking onto the sofa next to Lanie.

"I'm not surprised!" Lanie laughed and Charlie joined in. "Do you even know how much you drank last night?"

"A lot?" Beckett questioned tentatively, stomach lurching at the thought of alcohol.

"More than a lot, Kate, I've never seen you drink that much," Lanie told her.

"Oh I have," Charlie said, still grinning, "she spent practically every Saturday night her whole senior year like that."

"Shut up, Charlotte," Kate groaned, "is there coffee somewhere?"

"Sure, _Katherine_, I'll get you some," Charlie said, hopping up off of the couch.

"Wait, why aren't you two as hungover as me?" Kate asked accusingly.

"Because we stopped after the fourth round of shots, sweetie," Lanie said and Kate groaned again. "We had cocktails with dinner - quite a lot of them, I might add, and then when you suggested going to see Castle we thought we better give you more alcohol. It was tequila at first and then you moved onto the sambuca." And whatever else she'd been drinking, every time Lanie had looked at her she seemed to have a different drink in her hand.

"Mm, so it seems Charlie conveniently _forgot_ to mention that me and sambuca don't mix."

"Well how was I supposed to know if that was still the case?" Charlie asked, returning with Kate's coffee. "I haven't seen you in five years and you weren't exactly fussy about what you were drinking last night, I think you were even drinking rum at some point."

"I don't like rum!" Beckett explained, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Well, you certainly did last night," Lanie said, "now come on, we need to feed you, what do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Kate you have to eat," Charlie interjected, "you'll feel better afterwards. And I know just the thing - a full English."

"A full English what?" Lanie asked, her and Kate wearing matching confused expressions.

"Breakfast, obviously," Charlie said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Sausages, bacon, fried egg, toast, baked beans, tomato, hash browns and black pudding."

"What the hell is black pudding?" Kate asked, her stomach actually rumbling at the prospect of food - perhaps she was hungry after all.

"Dried pigs blood..yeah, perhaps we'll leave that bit out.."

"Good idea," Lanie said, wrinkling her nose. "Well, I've probably got everything else in the kitchen so let's get cooking!"

* * *

"So how much do you remember from last night?" Charlie asked Kate as they finished eating.

"Not much," she replied, trying to think back, "last thing I remember is suggesting I.." She stopped and blushed, smirks appearing on Charlie and Lanie's faces.

"So you remember that bit then?" Lanie asked.

"Uh..yeah.." What on earth had made her say that out loud? Well, the alcohol obviously. _Crap_.

"Don't worry about it, Kate, secret's safe with us. Thought anymore about apologising to Castle yet?"

"I was planning on going over today actually," Kate admitted. She needed to apologise, it had been six days now and that was too long, she missed him and she had to sort it out, whether he ever wanted to see her again or not, they'd wasted enough time already.

"Well that's sorted then," Lanie said, "Charlie and I will clear up, you go and have a shower. Clean towels are in the cupboard under the sink, and there should be a new toothbrush there too."

* * *

When Kate walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, there were clean clothes on the bed for her - she guessed they were for her because they were in her size. She wasn't sure where they'd come from though, Lanie wasn't the same size as her..

She slipped into the jeans and plain white t-shirt anyway, roughly drying her hair off with the towel. She felt much better after eating and showering, she still couldn't remember what had happened the previous night but she didn't feel like she was going to throw up any second so that was good.

Leaving the bedroom, she went in search of her sister and her best friend, finding them still in the kitchen, more coffee in front of them.

"Where did the clothes come from?" She asked as she entered, heading over to make herself more coffee.

"They're mine," Charlie said, "we asked the cab driver to stop for five minutes on the way back here last night so I could grab some things. I was a little drunk, however, so didn't get any of your stuff, just two pairs of jeans and clean underwear."

"Thanks, sis," Beckett smiled at Charlie. "Speaking of which, why are we here and not at my place?" She asked.

"Ah," Lanie began, "well as I'm assuming you don't remember, last night you kept saying over and over again that you needed to see Castle, you needed to apologise, among other less..appropriate comments shall we say."

Beckett blushed again, goodness knows what she'd admitted last night. Some of her nights alone at home had been Castle-filled fantasies, she sincerely hoped she hadn't blurted any of those out whilst under the influence.

"So then Lanie and I decided we couldn't trust you not to disappear off and get a cab to Castles and make things a million times worse, so we all came back here and we dumped you in Lanie's room to sleep it off."

Well, that explained why she hadn't recognised the room. "Oh god..well uh, thanks you two, I appreciate it."

"You'd do the same for us," Lanie said with a smile. "Now, you gonna go get your man?"

"I guess I am," Kate laughed, "wish me luck, guys!" She called as she located her phone on the living room coffee table, next to her purse. Grabbing them both, she headed out the door and onto the street to hail a cab.

On the cab ride over, Kate checked her phone for messages. She only had one - from Ryan, saying Jenny had asked him to thank her and the others for a great night. She smiled, before hitting back a quick reply. She liked Jenny and they'd had a good night - from what she could remember of it, anyway. She'd have to get Jenny's number and arrange something again soon.

Arriving at Castle's place, Kate paid the cabbie and climbed out of the taxi, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. She wasn't too sure how he was going to react, apart from being angry at her. Riding up the elevator, she almost collided with someone when she exited, so caught up in her own thoughts. Raising her head to apologise, she almost ran back into the lift.

"Alexis! Uh, sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going.."

"What're you doing here?" Alexis asked and Kate winced at the girls tone. Of course Alexis would be angry with her too.

"I um, I came to apologise and uh.." She trailed off, unsure of what else to say. She was a homicide detective for crying out loud, and yet she couldn't explain why she was here to an eighteen year old girl?

"And you think that's a good idea?" Alexis asked and Kate shot her a bewildered look. "My dad has been a mess this past week and that's because of you. The only reason I'm not telling you to leave is because I know my dad cares a lot about you, and it would only hurt him more if you never came round. But I need to know how you feel, because he's my dad and I want him back. He hasn't been like this since before he met you and I'm grateful to you for that, but please don't hurt him anymore.."

"Alexis, I can promise you that I don't want to hurt him, okay? He means the world to me - both of you do, and I know I've been an idiot and really screwed things but but I'm hoping your dad will be able to find it in his heart to forgive me."

"And if he doesn't?"

Kate's eyes widened and she hoped this wasn't pre-emptive of what was to come, that Castle hadn't told Alexis that. "Then I'll leave and you won't have to see me round here again," she promised.

"Is that what you want?"

"No, of course it's not. But I'd rather your dad had what he wanted - he deserves that, in the very least, even if it does mean he doesn't want anything to do with me ever again."

"We both want you to be happy too, Kate," Alexis said shyly and Beckett almost hugged her. Castle as lucky to have such an incredible daughter, he really was.

"Thank you," she smiled. "You heading out?"

"Yeah, I'm going to meet Paige to go shopping and get some lunch..dads in there, and Grams is away for the weekend so you have the place to yourselves for the rest of the day..just..don't screw it up, okay? We need you around too much for that to happen." Alexis walked off, leaving a stunned Beckett in the hallway.

Shaking her head and the conversation she'd just had, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the loft, waiting for Castle to answer.

"Alexis, what did you for- oh..it's you." Castle said when he realised it was Beckett and not his daughter. "What do you want?"

"To see you. Can I come in?" She asked and he held the door open a little wider, closing it being her when she entered the loft.

"I uh..can I get you a drink? Coffee? Water? Glass of wine?"

"Castle," she laughed, "it's 11.30 in the morning!"

"It's six o'clock somewhere," he counteracted.

"Okay..well I'm never drinking ever again, so coffee would be good, please?" She'd had two cups at Lanie's but Castle made it just right with the cream and sugar and he even added vanilla essence..

"Never drinking again?" He asked, pulling out two cups for the coffee.

"Okay well never say never, but not for a while anyway.. I think I need to give my liver a chance to recover after last night!"

"Heavy night?"

"Lanie and Charlie dragged me out for dinner and cocktails with Jenny..cocktails turned into tequila and tequila turned into rum and sambuca apparently."

"You don't even like rum!" Castle exclaimed, passing her a cup. "And didn't you say sambuca doesn't mix well with you?"

Kate stared at him in shock..how had he remembered that? It had been in passing conversation about a year and a half ago and yet he still remembered..

"I uh..no, it doesn't..but according to Lanie and Charlie, I wasn't exactly fussy last night. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about last night..I came here to apologise." She took a deep breath and continued. "I'm so sorry Castle, for everything. For blaming you when I should have told Charlie years ago..for not telling you about Charlie..for snapping at you when all you try and do is help..for being so selfish all the time..all of it. I'm sorry, Castle and I know you're angry at me - you have every right to be and if you tell me to leave and that you never want to see me again I will. It would tear me up inside to walk away from you but if that's what you want, I'll do it."

Castle studied her for a moment. He could tell she meant every word - Kate Beckett did not apologise easily, nor did she spill her heart out like she just had. The simple thing would have been to just accept it - he'd practically already forgiven her anyway, but he couldn't let her win that easily.

"I have a question - did your dad ever apologise to you?" He asked and she looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"What are you talking about?"

"When he came out of rehab, did he apologise for what he'd put you through?" He repeated calmly.

Kate thought about it for a moment. He'd given her his watch as a reminder of the life she'd saved and she had her moms ring as a reminder of the life she'd lost. Charlie had their moms favourite necklace - it was one that had been passed down through generations in their family. But she realised he hadn't - he had thanked her, eventually, for putting him into rehab - Charlie had already left for England at that point. But he had never actually apologised for what he'd done. "Uh no, I guess he didn't. Why?"

"Thought as much. I figure that him not apologising for all he put you through, right after losing your mom, by the way-"

"Hold on a sec, Castle," she interrupted, "that's not fair - he lost his wife that day, too."

"And you've already said you practically lost Charlie that day - so who did you have, Beckett? Charlie went back to Stanford and then to England. Your dad turned to the drink. But what about you?"

"Castle, why are we talking about this now, this was meant to be me apologising to you.."

"I'm getting there," he said, waving his hands impatiently. "Who did you have?"

"I was fine, Castle," she muttered, tears spiking at the back of her eyes, threatening to spill over. Truth was, she wasn't fine, she had been a mess and she suspected that's where Castle was going with this.

"No, you weren't. If you were, it wouldn't have taken me four years to break down these walls. I'm not saying I regret it or anything, because I wouldn't change any second of that time for the world, I'm just saying that your dad never apologised for what he put you through. I know he lost his wife that day but he owed it to you as your father to be strong for you. So I think the reason you don't apologise much is because your father never apologised to you for what he did after your mom died."

"I.." Beckett was lost for words. He had a point, a good one, actually, she'd just never thought of it like that before. At the time, she was so happy just to have her dad back when she thought she'd lost both parents that she never really put much thought into him apologising - or not apologising. "I guess you're right..but I don't want to talk about that, not now. I want you to know how sorry I am for everything I've put you through this week. It was selfish and horrible of me and I promise you, if you forgive me, it's never going to happen again."

"And I believe you, I do. But this past week..god, it's been awful, Beckett. Not seeing you..speaking to you..but at the same time I was angry with you, still am a bit, and I don't know how I can move past that.."

"So," Kate said, "where does that leave us?"

* * *

**A/N: aaaaand I bet you all hate me for leaving it there ;) I'll be back soon - hopefully tomorrow - with another update :)**

**PPS: I saw the 'Beckett's dad never apologising' thing on a post about Kate apologising on tumblr, so it's not my idea! **

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: updating again! I am literally blown away by the response to this story, I never imagined so many of you would like it so thank you, your reviews really do make my day!**

* * *

_"So," Kate said, "where does that leave us?"_

* * *

Castle was silent for a minute; where did that leave them? He honestly didn't know. He was stupidly, crazily and unconditionally in love with this woman but for some reason he still couldn't just forget what had happened. That surprised him, actually, because normally they just moved on and didn't talk about things but even now that she was here apologising he still couldn't drop it.

"Castle?" She pressed, eager for his response. She desperately wanted him to forgive her so they could move past this. She knew she'd fucked up badly but that was an achievement in itself - the fact that she had recognised her own mistake, that wasn't something that she admitted very often and she hoped Castle realised that too. "Look, I know things are a mess between us and I-" she broke off at her cell alerting her to a new message, glancing down, she saw it was from Charlie.

'_Hope things are going okay with Castle,'_ it read, _'don't forget to tell him what you remember from your shooting! Honesty is the best policy ;) Charlie xox'_. Shit. Oh _fuck_ what was she thinking? She could hardly come over here, doing the whole 'I'm sorry for this, this and this' thing but not tell him she remembered what he'd said! Oh, god, what was she going to do?! He hadn't even forgiven her yet and she still had more to tell him! She had to leave, get out of here, figure out how she was going to fix this one too.

"Beckett..everything okay?" Castle asked, concern laced in his voice.

"Yeah..I um, everything's uh, fine," she said, "I um, have to go.." She walked though the loft to the front door, Castle hot on her heels.

"Beckett, wait!" He called out with no luck, "Kate!" He tried again.

She spun around to face him. "I'm sorry Castle but I need to go, I'll call you later okay?" She said, stepping out of the front door and racing down the hallway to the elevator, breathing a sigh of relief when the doors closed in front of her.

Castle was confused and a little dazed. He wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, one minute she was asking him what the next step for the two of them was and the next she got a text and rushed out of his apartment like it was on fire! Shaking his head, he stepped back into the loft closing the door behind him. He'd never been able to understand that woman completely and he doubted if he ever would.

He was worried about her though, the way the text she had gotten had seemed to panic her slightly, enough to have to leave without much of an explanation, anyway. He'd give her half an hour and then he'd try calling her and if that didn't work, he'd go over to her place, just to double check she was okay. With that's sorted, he glanced around, tying to find something to busy himself with for the next thirty minutes..

* * *

When Kate got back to her apartment, she slammed the door shut so hard that Charlie came running out to see what was up. "Kate? I didn't expect you back this early..is everything okay?"

"Um..no, not really," she said quietly, heading into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. Screw what she'd told Castle an hour ago, desperate times called for desperate measures. "It was all going okay, I apologised for what I'd said and done and he was patient and listened to everything I had to say. Then he told me that he'd missed me but that he was still angry with me and he wasn't sure how to move past all that had happened..and then you text and I panicked. It completely slipped my mind that I had to apologise for that as well..well, tell him first and then apologise, what with everything else I had to say sorry for and oh god, Charlie, he's going to hate me! He's never going to want to speak to me ever again and I couldn't bare that, I just couldn't. He means the world to me and I love him so much but I'm no good. No good for him, he deserves so much better than me! I couldn't even fucking tell him that I heard him say 'I love you' when I was shot, what kind of a person does that make me?!" She blurted all of this out so fast that it was only over 30 years of being twins that had Charlie understanding a word of it.

"One who cares," Charlie said simply. "You said the reason you didn't tell him you remembered was because you want to be the best you possibly can for him and that's because you care about him. You want him to be happy, don't you?"

"More than anything," Kate whispered.

"And yeah, you probably should have told him but I know you, and I can kinda understand what you didn't. I'm not saying it was the right thing to do but you can't change that now, what's done is done. And Castle, well he knows you too, probably better than me in some respects and he'll understand. He'll be angry, you've got to expect that but I'm about 98% sure he'll get over it. That man _adores_ you Kate, and once you show him how crazy you are about him the rest will seem insignificant."

"You really think that?"

"I do. Lanie thinks the same," Kate shot her a look, "oh don't give me that, you were right, I do love Lanie, she's brilliant. And yes, the two of us have had a few conversations about you and writer boy."

"Oh god," Kate groaned, "you've been talking to Lanie too much if you're calling him writer boy too!" Charlie laughed. "Thank you, Charlie."

"For what?"

"For listening to me rant on and on about my pathetic love life. I'm sure this wasn't what you had in mind when you decided to move back home but I really do appreciate it, you're the best sister ever," she said, moving in to give Charlie a hug.

"I'm your only sister, remember?" Charlie teased, hugging Kate back. "And don't worry about it, like I said I'm glad I got back in time to see Kate Beckett fall in love. Maddie and I never thought that would happen!"

"Yeah well, neither did I," Kate admitted. "But he makes me happy, Charlie. Happier than I ever thought would be possible after mom died, he's amazing."

"If he's got my 'love doesn't exist' sister all loved up then I know he's pretty spectacular! Now, what're you going to do next?"

"I'm uh, I'm gonna go and see mom," Kate said. "Figure out how I'm going to fix this mess with Castle. You wanna come?"

"No, not today," Charlie replied she hadn't been to see her mom since the day before she left for England and she wasn't quite ready to go back there yet. "But soon, I promise."

"Okay, well I'll probably only be gone an hour or two," Kate told her, grabbing her keys and phone before leaving once again.

* * *

Checking his watch, Castle realised it had been 40 minutes since Kate had left his apartment. Searching for his phone, he found it under the living room coffee table - god knows how it had got there. Opening up his favourite contacts, he pressed the screen for Beckett and waited as the phone started to ring. Thirty seconds later and voicemail cut in, a chirpy Kate Beckett asking him to leave a message and she'd get back to him. Right, so she was ignoring him then. That meant he was he was going with plan b - turning up at her place.

Thirty minutes after Kate had left, Charlie heard a knock at the door. She opened it to find Castle, who was looking worried.

"Oh Kate," he said when he saw Charlie, "thank god you're here. I tried calling you but you didn't pick up..after the way you left my place I was so worried about you! What happened? Is everything okay?"

"I um, yeah..everything's fine.." Charlie said, opening the door wider to allow him to enter. Decision time: he had assumed she was Kate, so did she tell him she was Charlie or play along with it and pretend to be Kate? She wasn't sure how long she could keep it up for, Castle knew Kate inside out and they hadn't managed to fool him yet.

"Do you uh, want coffee?" She asked, praying he'd say no, she assumed Kate knew how he took his coffee and if she had to ask she was sure that would give her away.

"No, thank you..look, what happened?" He asked, sitting down in the lounge.

"I um..shit, I'm sorry.." She wasn't really too sure what to say. She knew roughly what had happened thanks to what Kate had told her but she had to tread carefully if she was going to convince Castle she was actually Kate.

"I shouldn't have run out on you like that," no obvious reaction from Castle. That was good, she was on the right tracks. "I just uh, got a text from Charlie and panicked a little, I'm sorry."

"What did she say?" Castle asked.

"Oh um, nothing to worry about, I just overreacted a little..I came home and talked with Charlie and I feel much better now," she said, with a smile she hoped was convincing him.

"Right..um, where is Charlie?" He asked, looking around as if expecting to see her jump out from behind a door or something.

"She went out. Somewhere. Think she went to meet this guy she met last night, actually." Charlie said, moving her own plans forward for the sake of the story she was spinning. She had met someone last night and she was planning on seeing him later on today, not that Kate knew that yet - she'd only give her a lecture on meeting with strange men and making sure she was in a public place and so on. Seriously, sometimes having a cop for a sister sucked ass. She couldn't complain too much though, she knew the kinds of things Kate saw with her job and she was just worried that the same thing would happen to her.

"Okay. So um, before you left, you asked where that left us and I wanted to see if you were happy for us to sort of..go slow?" He suggested, waiting for her reaction. "I can't forget what's happened because this time it was just one step too far but at the same time I missed you."

* * *

After visiting with her mom, Kate felt a lot happier. It was strange really, given that her mom couldn't actually talk back, but she always felt as though she could tell what her mom would be saying, and she'd actually decided it was time to tell Castle what she remembered, even if he did hate her for it. She just had to hope Charlie was right and he'd forgive her eventually because she'd survived losing her mom, as well as her father and her sister for a bit, but she wasn't sure she could lose Richard Castle, not for good.

But she knew that in order for them to even think about pursuing a relationship, she had to be honest with him. And she would be, she was going home to change and then she was going to call him and ask if he wanted to meet somewhere for them to talk. She thought that was better than either of their places because then neither of them would feel trapped, if they wanted to leave at any point then they would be perfectly able to do so.

Riding the elevator up to her apartment, she felt happier than she had done all day, despite knowing what was to come. It could completely backfire on her and Castle could turn around and say he never wanted to see her again, but at least she would be walking away with the knowledge that she had eventually told him the truth, she'd never be able to live with herself if he didn't know at all.

Pausing just outside her door, key in her hand, she stopped as she heard voices. One was Charlie's and the other was a mans..did Charlie have a friend over? Pressing her ear up a giants the door and hoping none of her neighbours walked by and saw her, she listened in to the conversation.

"..I can't even describe the feelings I have for you, they're just so crazy.."

Hang on..that was Castle's voice. What was Castle doing in her apartment? Better yet, what was he saying to Charlie? She pressed her ear closer to the door, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Castle.." Came Charlie's voice. "There's something I need to say.."

"No wait," Castle replied, "I know I shouldn't be saying this and I've tried not to but I can't keep pretending I don't feel anything for you.."

Kate had heard enough. Racing back down the hallway and into the elevator, she only just made it back outside and down an alleyway before she threw up. How could they? Here she was thinking her and Castle had a chance and yet he was falling for her sister! God, this had been what had started the fucking argument last week - him saying maybe she hadn't told him about Charlie incase he preferred her and all this time that was the case!

Leaning back against the stone wall, she took a few deep breaths and tried to calm herself down. Maybe she was going to wake up in a minute and realise this was all a horrible nightmare..yeah, or not. Oh god, she couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe Castle would do this to her! She needed to speak to them, both of them, and now.

She made to leave the alleyway but stopped when a figure walked past - it was Castle, heading for a cab waiting just down the road and chuckling away to himself. _Son of a bitch._ Well, if he was leaving then she could deal with Charlie first..

* * *

**A/N: another cliffhanger, I know, but I can PROMISE YOU that it is not what it looks like! I said Charlie and Castle wasn't happening and I meant it! Guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens next ;) reviews more than welcome!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So it seems a few of you really didn't like the last chapter and a couple of you were very vocal about it. However, chances are if you leave me anon hate reviews, I'm not going to approve them. **

**I'm trying my hardest to focus on the good reviews as they seriously outweighed the bad but I always seem to focus on the negatives!**

**To those of you who left me nice reviews - THANK YOU. They always mean a lot but especially on the last chapter! You also took it to over 200 reviews which is just way more than I ever expected, so thank you soooo much!**

**Anyway, here's the next update..I just hope those hate reviewers are gone! Like I explained to some of you in messages, this chapter should hopefully resolve any issues, I think TORONTOSUN was the only person who figured it out! But trust me, it's probably not as bad as you think! **

* * *

Still laughing quietly to himself, Castle climbed into the cab and gave the driver his address. Pulling out his phone, he rattled off a quick text to Kate, double checking she was okay - he wasn't too worried though, he highly doubted Charlie would have been playing games with him if there was something wrong with Kate.

Thinking of Charlie, he laughed again - had she really thought she could fool him? She should have realised that he knew Kate better than that, he had known about thirty seconds after he walked into the apartment that it was Charlie stood in front of him and not Kate. They might be identical but there were still little differences that you would only be able to pick up on if you knew one or both of them very well. For a start, when she was nervous or anxious, Kate's eyes went a shade darker than usual. Given the situation they had been in, with her running out on him, he would have expected that to happen and it didn't. That was his first indication that he wasn't really talking to Kate and as he spoke to her more, he realised it was pretty damn obvious it was Charlie. First, she had apologised about three times and after the conversation he'd had with Kate earlier, he knew that was unlikely.

He had to give Charlie some credit though, when he'd first seen her open the door he had been so worried about Kate that he had momentarily forgotten she had a twin sister. Well, that kind of news did take some getting used to, after all. But they weren't the same, not at all. Charlie had seemed a little unsure of what had actually happened and he knew Kate, knew that she stood by whatever she said and wouldn't seem unsure about why she had left. But if Charlie wanted to play that game, then so be it. He didn't know if Kate was it on it or not, but he'd try and figure that out the next time he saw her.

If he hadn't already been convinced, the moment he'd started bringing up how he felt about Kate had sealed the deal for him. The look on her face had been priceless, he could tell then that Charlie had never expected it to go that far and he would feel a little mean, except she had started it by not correcting him when he called her Kate. And as they say; all's fair in love and war.

* * *

Kate was fuming as she rode the elevator back up to her apartment, willing it to go faster. The cheek of Castle, _laughing_ as he left, laughing at her no doubt, and the fact that he was playing her. _Bastard_.

For the second time that day, she slammed the door of her apartment closed, waiting for Charlie to appear.

"Hey, how'd it go with mom?" She asked, "wait, what's up? You look kinda..tense?"

"How could you?" She said quietly. "How could you do this to me? I've spilled my heart out to you more than once and this is what you go and do?"

Charlie looked thoroughly confused. "Erm, Kate..fancy explaining what the hell you're talking about?" She asked, having no idea what was going on right now.

"Don't even try and deny it, Charlotte! I heard you, both of you.._talking_," she sneered.

"Both of- oh, you mean Castle? Well why didn't you just say that?" Charlie asked, still ting to figure out what had got her sister so angry. "Listen, I have something to tell you-"

"Oh I'm sure you do," Kate interrupted sarcastically, "you've been back a week and half, Charlie, and you're already stealing my _partner_ from me!"

"I'm- what?" Now she was really confused, what exactly did Kate hear? "I'm not stealing anybody.."

"Well then how do you explain what I heard?" Kate shouted. She couldn't believe Charlie had the balls to deny it to her face, literally ten minutes after the conversation had taken place!

"Right, you need to calm down," Charlie said and this didn't help Kate's anger. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm sure you've got the wrong end of the stick." She had just realised that if Kate had got home just before Castle left, she could have taken the end of their conversation in completely the opposite way to how it was meant. Sort of. "So. What did you hear?"

"You and him," Kate huffed out, exasperation in her voice. "Him saying he shouldn't be saying these things but not being able to deny his feelings anymore-"

"Yeah," Charlie interrupted, he suspicions confirmed. "And you really think he was saying those things to me?"

"Well who else was he talking to?!"

"You, Kate. He was talking to you," Charlie said patiently.

"But I wasn't even- _oh_.." Realisation dawned as she took in what Charlie was saying. "He thought you were me?"

"_Yes_," Charlie said. "He came over worried about you because you rushed out with no explanation and just assumed I was you."

"That's all it was?"

"Of course it was, Kate. You don't really think I'd try and take him away from you, do you? Besides, that man is so crazy in love with you that Miranda Kerr could walk past him in her underwear and he wouldn't bat an eyelid. He _loves_ you Kate, and I know you love him too."

"Oh god," Kate groaned, "I've been so stupid!"

"Well yeah, you have a little," Charlie laughed. "But you're in love and nothing's ever the same when you're in love. In fact, I think it's really just hit me how crazy about him you are, I've never seen you that jealous over a guy before!"

"God, I'm sorry, Charlie..I shouldn't have just assumed the worse but you know..when I heard what I did, it just kinda hit me and with what Castle said last week about me worrying he'd prefer you..I just jumped to conclusions."

"No problem, just..don't assume things next time, 'kay? I know how you feel about him and I would never, ever, do anything to sabotage that."

"I know you wouldng, I was just being an idiot! Anyway, I actually came back here to tell you I'm going to tell him. What I remember from the shooting, I mean. And I know he'll probably hate me, but I can't keep it a secret any longer, he deserves to know the truth."

"You're doing the right thing, Kate," Charlie said. "But do you wanna know the best part?" Kate looked at her enquiringly. "He didn't even figure out it was me!"

"Seriously? And you didn't tell him?"

"Seriously! And no I didn't, what would be the fun in that? I thought it would be really obvious but I think I've finally managed to fool him!" Charlie told her excitedly. "So..I was thinking..how about we play some of our old tricks again? You know, pretending to be each other..making him think he's forgotten to tell us stuff when he actually told the other one..that kind of stuff."

"You really think we could pull it off?" Kate wasn't convinced, if anyone knew her best it was Castle and she wasn't entirely sure he'd buy their act.

"Yeah I think so..and come on, from what I've learnt about Castle this is right up his street."

_Yeah, and all his fantasies come true, _Kate thought silently. "Okay, on one condition.."

"Anything," Charlie said, not even containing the excitement in her voice. She was a bit bored being back with nothing to do when Kate was at work, but now she had a plan. She would start looking for a job eventually, but right now she was just settling in back home.

"I still tell him what I heard and if he doesn't want anything to do with me then the whole thing is off, deal?"

"Deal."

"Well, no time like the present!" Kate said, pulling out her cell. She looked at the screen, noticing she had more texts from Castle. She replied to this one, though.

'_You free for dinner or drinks or something later?_' She typed, '_I should probably explain myself..'_

A few minutes later, a reply came through. '_Alexis and I are having dinner and then a movie night if you wanna come? Charlie too?'_

Kate wasn't sure. She couldn't really do that and tell him there, or go over tonight and pretend everything was okay just to tell him tomorrow.

"I'm busy tonight," Charlie said reading the message over Kate's shoulder and effectively making a decision for her.

She began her reply; _'no that's okay, you and Alexis have a good night. Tomorrow, if you're free?'_

'_Burgers at Remy's, 1 o'clock?_' Came his reply.

'_Sounds good to me, see you there_.' She typed back, putting her phone down.

"So, sister of mine..where are you going tonight?"

"I um..just out. With a friend.."

"Oh yeah," Kate said with a grin. "Which friend?"

"Oh for goodness sake. Okay, so I met a guy last night and I'm seeing him again tonight, happy?"

"Ecstatic. But I was there last night, how didn't I meet him?"

"Oh you did, you were just a little drunk at that point."

"Oh, okay. So, tell me about him.."

Charlie rolled her eyes, seeing she wasn't going to be able to get out of this one. "His names Ethan, he's 35 and he's a property developer."

"Okay, and what does he look like?"

"Tall, dark and handsome and that's all you're getting," Charlie said, poking her tongue out at Kate.

"Spoilsport," Kate laughed. "Just remember to stay in public places and-"

"Kate, the whole cop thing was cute when you were a uniform but as a homicide detective, it's a little creepy. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself!"

"I know, I know," Kate said as Charlie headed into the bedroom. "Just remember to use protection!" She called out jokingly and Charlie slammed the door behind her.

Right, so Castle and Charlie were busy..what was she going to do tonight?

* * *

"Charlie, is that my dress?" Kate asked, as Charlie emerged from the bedroom in the blue dress she had once worn to one of Castle's book signings.

"Oh..yeah, can I borrow it please?" Charlie asked with a grin.

"And if I said no?"

"I'd borrow it anyway, love you!"

Kate laughed, it was good having Charlie home. "Where are you going, anyway?"

"I'm not sure, Ethan text, said he'd booked a table at a restaurant, he's picking me up at 7..which is in 15 minutes!" She said, starting to panic slightly, she couldn't remember the last time she had been on a date.

"Oh relax," Kate said, "when he sees you in that dress he won't even want to leave the apartment."

"I'm offended, Katherine," Charlie said in mock horror, "I'll have you know that I_ do not_ put out on the first date!"

"Oh yeah, and what about Sam Carmichael?" She teased.

"Okay, that was one time and I was nineteen!" Charlie defended, "I'm a grown woman now, I need to have some respectability." She checked her reflection in the mirror one last time. "Just not gonna make him wait four years," she added as an afterthought.

"Oh shut up, Charlotte," Kate said, rolling her eyes as someone knocked at the door. "I'll get it!" She called.

"Don't you dare embarrass me Katherine Houghton Beckett!" Charlie hissed, nerves bubbling in her stomach.

"Would I do such a thing?" Kate teased as the opened the door.

"Hi! You must be Ethan!" She said, "I'm Kate, come in," she opened the door to let him in. "Charlie is almost ready.."

"Oh that's okay, I'm a little early," he said with a smile.

_Wow, Charlie did good_! Kate thought approvingly. She was right when she said he was tall, dark and handsome..she was guessing there was Italian or something in there somewhere.

"Can I get you a drink while you wait?" Kate asked.

"No need," Charlie called, "I'm ready now!" Last thing she needed was her sister saying something she shouldn't, especially when she was only going on her first date with the guy.

"Wow," Ethan said, "you look incredible!"

"Thank you," Charlie said, "you don't clean up so bad yourself!"

"So, you ready?" He asked.

"Yep, let's go," she replied, following him to the door, "bye Kate!" She called out.

"It was nice to meet you," Ethan said as they left, leaving Kate alone in her apartment.

* * *

**A/N: *hides under pillows whilst waiting for more people to hate it*. Yeah, so I do really wanna keep going with this story because I'm having so much fun with it, but some of the anon hate is getting to me - not giving up yet though! Nice/constructive reviews are welcomed though, the majority of you have been SO LOVELY so far :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: okay so you guys literally blew me away with your reviews on the last chapter - thank you all SO MUCH!**

* * *

"Wake up, sleepy head," Charlie's voice said, shaking her awake. Opening her eyes, Kate realised she was still on the sofa and the tv was still on, she must have fallen asleep.

"What time is it?" She asked groggily, sitting up into a more comfortable position.

"Nearly 1," Charlie told her, "I've just got home."

Kate eyed her sister. All she really wanted to do was slip into bed and sleep but Charlie had such an excited look on her face that she couldn't bare to deny her. "Okay okay, tell me all about it."

When Charlie spoke, it was as if a dam had been burst and the water was suddenly allowed to flow past. "Oh my god Kate, it was amazing!" She squealed, practically bouncing up and down in her seat. "He'd booked a table at this most amazing restaurant.. Q3 it was called, maybe you've heard of it? Anyway-"

"Q3?" Kate asked as she realised where Charlie was talking about, "yeah I've heard of it. Remember Maddie from school?" Charlie nodded, "she owns the place."

Charlie's eyes widened. "_Maddie_ owns that restaurant? Wow, she did good! How'd you know?"

"Her head chef was murdered a couple of years back, we investigated the case. We keep in touch now, actually, you'll have to come out with us next time," Kate said with a smile, what a coincidence that he'd taken her to Q3. "Though he must be pretty important if he got a table there, Castle said he'd been trying to get a reservation for months when it opened."

"I'm not surprised, oh my goodness Kate, the food was _incredible_. Seriously, I've never tasted anything like it! So we had this perfect three course meal with candles on the table and flowers and everything and we didn't run out of conversation, not once," Charlie said, a smile threatening for take over her entire face.

"I'm not surprised, you can talk for America, you can," Kate grumbled and Charlie narrowed her eyes at her. "Carry on, sister dearest," Kate smiled sweetly.

"Yes, well after that he _insisted_ on paying the bill, wouldn't hear a word against it despite me saying for at least twenty minutes that I should at least pay for my food. And then, oh my god, we had a _horse ride_ around Central Park! I mean seriously, how amazing is that?!"

"Wow, pretty impressive for a first date!" Kate said, restraining herself from rolling her eyes. Wasn't her kinda thing, but if it made Charlie happy then that was all that mattered. "Guess he's got a lot to live up to if you go on another date!"

"If? Please, we've already arranged it! We're going to watch a movie on Wednesday, get a couple of drinks after..you should come meet us, bring Lanie and the boys if you like."

"Hmm, I'll think about it," Kate said. She wasn't too keen on the idea but it might give her a chance to see what Ethan was like - and Espo and Ryan would be there too, they could give her a hand and they'd be able to figure out if he was any good. "So, you like him then?" She couldn't remember seeing Charlie this crazy over a guy since college.

"I do...too much, I think. I mean, I only met him last night but it feels like so much longer, you get what I mean? We have so much in common and he's drop dead gorgeous..well, you saw him.."

"Yeah, I did - you did good, kid," she teased, punching Charlie playfully on the arm.

"Hey, you're not the only one who can find a good guy you know! So, what did you get up to tonight?"

"Not a lot, ordered pizza and watched crappy romance movies," Kate admitted, stifling a yawn. "And now, I think it's time for bed. Night sis," she said as she got up to make her way to her bedroom.

"Night, Kate, sleep well."

* * *

"You okay?" Charlie asked as Kate began pacing around the living room.

"Yes," she snapped, before sinking onto the couch with a sigh. "No," she admitted. "I'm nervous about lunch. I'm almost where I need to be to start something with him and I'm going to ruin it all. It's my fault, I know that..I just wish I hadn't been so damn ridiculous after the shooting and not told him I didn't remember." She had no doubt in her mind that Castle still would have waited,wouldn't have pushed for more than she could given even if she had admitted what she'd heard. And now, now she'd left it way too long and it had just made things worse because when she told him, he was probably going to think it was because she didn't feel the same or something..

"When are you leaving?" Charlie asked.

"I'm meeting him at 1..I'll go in a minute though, I can't sit and wait for much longer." It was only 12.20, but she could get parked and order coffee or something while she waited for him.

"Okay, honey. Well good luck and remember, it'll all be okay, alright? I know he's probably not going to take this very well but if you explain why you didn't tell him, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Thanks, Charlie," Kate said, grabbing her keys, cell and purse. "I'll see you later."

Just as she had suspected, Castle wasn't there when Kate arrived at Remy's. Smiling warmly at a waitress they'd seen in here many times, she took a seat at an empty booth and waited for Castle. Luckily, she didn't have to wait long - she'd just ordered them both a cup of coffee when Castle walked in, smiling when he saw her.

"Hi," he said, sitting down opposite her. "You okay? You don't usually want to see me when you don't have to," he teased.

"Well uh, we need to talk.."

"I wonder, how many conversations starting with the words 'we need to talk' actually end well?" Castle replied ominously. "You ordered already?"

"Just coffee," she said as their waitress brought the drinks over.

"Are you ready to order some food or did you need some more time?" She asked with a polite smile.

"I'm good," Castle said, not even needing to look at the menu, "how about you?" He asked Beckett, he was pretty sure he was speaking to Kate, he just had a feeling, but this would confirm it.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Beckett returned, both of them ordering their usuals - thus confirming Castle's theory that it actually was Kate sat opposite him.

"So," Castle began once the waitress had disappeared to the kitchen with their order, "you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. I um..look, yesterday when I ran out on you..I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry," it suddenly dawned on her that Castle had seen 'her' since then. "I mean, I didn't really apologise properly when you came over yesterday. Not that you were there for long, but I um..yeah, I'm sorry."

"Wanna tell me what happened to make you freak out on me like that?" He asked and Kate was grateful he was leaving the ball in her court. He wasn't outright asking why she had done it, he was asking if she wanted to tell him. _God, what had she done to deserve him?_

"I uh, like I said yesterday," _well, like Charlie said yesterday_, she added silently, "I got a text from Charlie and I overreacted. And uh, that's kinda why we're here right now, what she said in the text was something I needed to tell you and I'd sort of forgotten about it.."

"You're killing me here," he joked, "are you gonna tell me what it is you haven't told me before christmas or do you just wanna wrap it up and wait until then?"

"Castle," she snapped, "I'm trying to be serious here!"

"Okay, sorry, sorry. Carry on," he said sheepishly.

Beckett was about to come right out and say it when their food arrived. _Stupid freaking timing._ Both of them were silent for a minute whilst they began eating their burgers.

_Come on, Beckett, just spit it out._ "Right, so you remember when I was shot?" She began tentatively. _Duh, stupid question,_ she told herself, _he's hardly going to have forgotten is he?!_

"Yeah, Kate, I remember," he chuckled and Beckett's stomach flipped at the use of her first name. She was almost always Beckett, he saved Kate for when he was particularly happy with her..or when he was trying to get her attention. _Dammit, did he have to make it harder for her?_

"Okay, so after that..when you came to see me in the hospital?" He nodded, looking at her expectantly. "I um, I told you that I couldn't remember anything from the shooting.."

He frowned at her, the two of them abandoning their half eaten burgers. "Go on," he pressed.

"Well um.." _Here goes nothing_ - "I lied."

"You lied?" Castle asked and Beckett wouldn't meet his gaze, she had suddenly become very interested in her half-eaten burger. "Beckett? What did you lie about?" He had a sinking feeling he already knew but he needed to hear her say it.

"What you said when you pushed me to the ground," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Castle, so so sorry."

"Why? Why did you lie about it?" He asked, anger bubbling up inside.

"Because.."

"Oh no, let me guess - you don't feel the same and you were just trying to spare my feelings?" He thanked the lord that the diner was fairly busy, people were far too engrossed in their own conversations to pay any attention to them. "Well I've got news for you, Beckett, I'm a big boy, I can take care myself. In fact, I think you've made it worse by lying this whole time - if you had just told me in the hospital that you had heard me then it would have been a hell of a lot better than me thinking I had a chance with you for almost a year," he spat out, he couldn't believe she had been keeping it a secret all this time.

"Oh god, Castle, of course that's not why..oh I knew that's what you'd think! Please, just give me a minute to explain.."

"Why should I?" He asked, "give me one good reason why I should listen to anything you have to say?"

Beckett opened and closed her mouth a few times, doing a rather good impersonation of a goldfish, but came up empty.

"Precisely what I thought," Castle said, standing up to leave.

"No, wait!" Beckett called, "please Castle, just give me five minutes. Five minutes to explain and then I promise if you don't want to see me ever again I'll walk out of here and you can forget I ever existed but please, just give me one more chance," she begged, desperate for him to listen to her, despite the fact she knew she didn't deserve it.

He didn't know why he relented, but he did. Well, when had he ever been able to resist Kate Beckett? "You've got 4 minutes and 45 seconds and counting," he said, sitting back down.

"Thank you," she breathed out. This was it, her one and only opportunity to see if her and Castle still had a chance. "I lied about what I'd heard because I was scared. At the time I was still with Josh.." Castle shifted guiltily in his seat, "oh no, I don't blame you. I mean, your timing was pretty crap but I could have died and you made a split second decision. But after that, as you know, Josh and I split up. And it wasn't just because of what you'd said because I'd known for longer than that that we weren't going to work out, but it was partly the reason why. Nobody had ever told me they loved me and actually meant it, besides my parents and probably Charlie, of course..with Will, it was always that he loved the job more than me..Demming, well, that didn't last long enough to even think about love and Josh..well, once again it was the job and not me. But when I was with Josh, I didn't care that he loved the job more than me because it meant I got to spend more time with you and he didn't even notice. I was scared, Castle, like you said - I hid in relationships with men I didn't love and when I realised that my feelings for you ran stronger than that, it scared me. And so _I_ made a split second decision - the wrong one, I'll admit that, - and that was to lie about it, pretend I'd never heard it. And it wasn't because I didn't feel anything for you it was because I was so scared of _what_ I felt for you. I tried everything I could to push you away, Castle but none of it worked, you always managed to worm your way back in and it was annoying at first..but then I realised I actually wanted you there, crazy theories and all. And I know I should have told you this months and months ago but I didn't, so I'm putting it right now..well as right as I can put it.." She broke off, grateful that Castle had refrained from interrupting her during her little monologue.

"So why are you telling me now?" He asked, "why not just carry on pretending you hadn't heard me?"

"You really think I could start a relationship with you knowing I hadn't been completely honest?" She asked, "cause if that's the case then you really don't know me very well at all."

"You..you want to start a relationship with me?" He asked in disbelief.

_Oh shit, had she said that?_ "I um..well not right yet, I'm not quite ready yet but I know I'm almost there. And you've been so amazing this past year or so, not pushing for more than I could give..never pressuring me into anything and I'm so grateful, you will never understand how much I appreciate that but yeah..soon, I guess."

Castle was silent for a few minutes, taking in everyhintg she had just told him. It seemed it was the old head vs heart battle - his head told him to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction and his heart was simply jumping with joy that Kate Beckett had actual romantic feelings for him. "I uh..well I'm not really sure what to say.." He said.

"You don't need to say anything, Castle, honestly I'm just glad you gave me the opportunity to explain myself, I know I didn't deserve it.."

"No, you didn't, but I meant what I said that day you were shot - I love you. And like I said yesterday, I know you're not ready to hear it yet but from what you've just said it's not going to be long, and that's good enough for me."

Beckett frowned and then suppressed a smile at the mention of their conversation 'yesterday,' that had been that the part of the conversation with Charlie that she'd overheard. "So um, are we okay?"

"Not right now..but I think we could be. Just..give me a couple of days, Beckett. I'll call you, okay?" He said as he stood up once again, placing some money on the table and walking away from her.

Well, Beckett thought, that went as well as could be expected, now she just had to hope he called.

* * *

**A/N: and that makes it four updates in four days! Won't have time tomorrow to update, but I'll aim for Wednesday! Hope you all had a lovely Easter weekend - and another four day week this week, yay! (Another cliffhanger, I know, but I seriously contemplated leaving it "I lied." Which I think would have been worse!)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: home ill from work, so here is the latest update a little earlier in the day than planned! (PS: over 300 of you now following this story - makes me happy, thank you!)**

* * *

Waking up on Wednesday morning, Castle stayed in bed for a while before getting up. Not like he was due at the precinct or anything, it was he who had to call Beckett when he was ready, not the other way round. It had only been three days since they'd met for lunch and she had told him about what she had remembered but he'd done a lot of thinking in that time.

He was still angry, of course, but he had learnt over the last four years that staying angry with Kate Beckett was a lot easier said than done, the woman was impossible. What he couldn't help though, was the fact that she hadn't flat out refused the possibility of them pursuing something, in fact she had practically said it _would_ happen at some point, and as much as he hated to admit it, that was triumphing over the anger he was feeling.

If he had left when he was planning to after she had admitted she had lied, he wasn't sure he would be in this position now, ready to forgive her, but her reasoning had been so heartfelt and sincere that he couldn't help but be thankful he had stayed around to listen. Like he had ever been able to deny Kate Beckett anyway, he turned to mush when she was around.

And as well as the problems he had with Kate, he was missing the boys and even Captain Gates, too. It had been a week and a half since he'd made an appearance and he was getting agitated at not having new cases to help solve, even if Gates did think he just messed things up for her detectives. He'd said he'd call her when he was ready, but he was beginning to think a visit may be in order today..

* * *

After Castle had left the diner on Sunday, Kate had finished her coffee and followed in his footsteps, leaving some cash for a tip on the table - Castle had left enough to cover their bill. She'd driven straight home, needing the comfort of her sister right now.

"Kate!" Charlie called as she walked in the door to her apartment, "how did it go?"

"Uh..as well as could be expected, I guess," Kate replied, dropping her keys and purse on the table next to the door and joining Charlie in the living room.

"What did he say?"

"Well obviously he was angry at first, I thought he was going to leave at one point, before I even had a chance to explain. He gave me five minutes though and I think I possibly managed to save..us."

"So you're okay?" Charlie asked, concern etched across her face.

"That's what I asked," Kate laughed, "and he said 'not right now but I think we could be,' so I guess I just have to wait it out now, wait for him to call."

"See," Charlie beamed, "I told you it would all work out!"

"He hasn't forgiven me yet, Charlie," Kate reiterated, "and I honestly don't deserve his forgiveness and if we work this out then I swear to god I'm going to spend the rest of my life making him as happy as I possibly can."

"Trust me, you naked in his bed would do," Charlie muttered, just loud enough for Kate to hear and shoot her a look that quite clearly said 'stop talking and grow up'.

* * *

That was Sunday and today was Wednesday, and like the last two mornings, Kate woke up hoping that today would be the day he would call. After a week and a half of him not being at the precinct, things were starting to feel a little weird. Captain Gates had even called Kate into her office on Monday afternoon to ask if Castle was okay. Kate had been surprised, but as Gates as said, just because she didn't approve of having him in her precinct, she wouldn't wish him any harm and that she knew he was a good man.

The boys hadn't said anything again this week, which she was grateful for. The last thing she needed was the two of them pestering her as to why Castle wasn't around, but thankfully they'd stayed quiet. She had to remember to invite them out for drinks with Charlie and Ethan tonight, actually, she didn't want to be the awkward third wheel, plus, she needed help on checking Ethan out, making sure he was good enough for her sister - without her knowing of course, Charlie would kill her her if she knew she was asking Espo and Ryan to poke and prod into Ethan's private life.

Their Wednesday morning at the precinct passed uneventfully, they'd wrapped a case yesterday and no new bodies had dropped since, so the three of them were going through massive piles of paperwork - Castle definitely wouldn't have stuck around for that.

Glancing at the clock, Beckett saw it was almost 1pm. Putting down her pen, she stretched her arms out in front of her and left her desk to head into the break room. She was just beginning to make coffee when she heard Esposito's voice from back in the bullpen.

"Castle, my man - where've you been?!"

Swirling round faster than a ballerina, Kate saw through the blinds that Castle seemed to paying them a visit this lunchtime - and he'd brought food.

"Hey guys, just thought I'd pop by and see how my favourite detectives are getting on - I brought pizza, if you're hungry.."

Kate had to laugh at that - they'd be eating the pizza even if they weren't hungry. Right on time, her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten since breakfast. Picking up her now made coffee, she took a deep breath before heading back out into the bullpen.

"Hey, Beckett," Ryan called, "Castle's here and he brought pizza!"

"So I heard," Beckett replied drily, raising her gaze to meet Castle's blue eyes. "Hi," she smiled shyly.

"Hi," he smiled back. "There's um..pizza..if you want some.."

"Thanks," she said, walking over and taking a slice - he'd got her favourite; ham and pineapple. "So, you came all the way over here to bring us pizza? Or did you finally realise you need to do your fair share of paperwork?" She teased.

"Uh, no. No paperwork for me. I um, I actually came over to talk to you..I mean, I know I said I'd call but-"

"Oh no," she interrupted, "that's fine, we can talk. Um, the break room is empty?"

"Okay, lead the way," he said, picking up another couple of slices of pizza.

Beckett was nervous. She'd spent the best part of three days hoping he'd call like some fifteen year with with a crush but now that he was actually here, she had no idea what to say. Taking a seat on a stool at the table, he sat opposite her and handed her another slice of pizza.

"I know it's your favourite, I was uh, kind a hoping it would soften you up a bit.." He did sheepishly, taking a bite of the other slice.

"Soften _me_ up? Shouldn't that be the other way round?" She asked.

"Ha, yeah, probably but I was kinda hoping it was a good enough excuse to drop by unannounced.."

Beckett laughed. "You don't need an excuse, Castle, you can drop by whenever you feel like it," she told him.

"Yeah? Try telling Gates that! Anyway, I um, I came over to talk to you about..about what we spoke about the other day." She looked at him but didn't say anything. "I was angry at first, guess I still am a bit but after your explanation I knew I'd forgive you at some point, because whether it's a good idea or not, I love you." Beckett glanced around nervously, worried that someone might overhear but no one was around. "And yes, you should have told me months ago, but you didn't and as much as I disagree with your reasons, I understand them from your point of view." _Wait, was he saying.._ "so uh, if you'd like, I guess we could..keep whatever _this_ is going and um, see where it goes?"

_As long as it ends with us both naked, I'm not bothered_, Beckett said silently. her heart practically jumping for joy at his words. "So..does this mean we're okay?" She asked, a smile on her face.

"Yeah, I guess it does," he replied with a laugh. "Look, I understand that your past has made you who you are and I respect that, but I'm planning on making sure your future is everything you ever hoped it could be."

"What did I do to deserve a man like you?" She whispered, her gaze falling into her lap. He really was the most amazing man she'd ever met.

"You're just you, Beckett. Any man could fall in love with you, given half the chance..guess I'm just the next on the list."

"You're the _last_ on the list," she replied boldly, reaching her hand across the table and taking his. "I promise you, I'm going to try my hardest to be the best I possibly can for you, nothing less than you deserve."

"Just knowing that one day you're going to be mine, that's enough for me," Castle said, appreciating this open and honest side of her, pushing away the little voice in his head that was telling him he was hiding what he had learned about her moms case.

"Come on, let's go and see if Espo and Ryan have left any pizza," Kate said, hopping down from her stool.

"I doubt it," Castle laughed, "but to be honest, I brought it to distract them, give me a chance to talk to you."

"Well I think it worked," Beckett replied, Espo and Ryan hadn't interrupted them once.

"There you two are," Ryan said, "we were wondering where you'd got to!"

"Just catching up," Castle said, smiling at Beckett.

"Right," Espo said. "So er, does this mean you're coming back now or.."

"If she'll have me," Castle replied with a nod of his head towards Kate.

She was tempted to reply with 'always', the little promise they sometimes spoke, but didn't think it was appropriate in front of the boys. "I guess so," she sighed dramatically. "Who else is going to feed us?" She said with a wink.

"Oh, so you're just using me for pizza! I see how it is," Castle huffed and the other three laughed. God, it was good to be back.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Kate said, "Charlie is having drinks with this guy she met last weekend. She's already been on a date with him but she asked if you guys wanted to come too and I was uh, kinda thinking you could help me check him out..see if-"

"Yeah yeah, we get it," Espo replied, "we can do the whole protective big brother thing again, can't we Ryan."

"Sure thing," Ryan replied, "she taking him to the old haunt?"

"Yeah," Beckett told them, Charlie had told her yesterday that they were catching an early movie and they'd be at the bar around 8. "Thanks guys, I appreciate- wait, what do you mean again?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at the two detectives.

"What?" Espo asked, suddenly realising his mistake.

"Yeah, what are you talking about?" Ryan said, backing his partner up.

"Castle? You got anything to say?" Kate asked and Castle visibly gulped at the look on her face.

"I..um, no?" He said, posing it as a question and not a statement.

"You sure?" She asked again and the three boys were saved from answering by the ringing of Beckett's cell phone.

They all breathed a sigh of relief when she returned, telling them they had a body, seeming to forget the conversation they'd been having previously. None of them wanted to see her reaction when she found out Espo and Ryan had questioned Castle - more than once - on his intentions with her. She might approve of it for her sister, but they were under no illusion that Kate Beckett needed protecting - didn't stop Espo and Ryan making sure Castle wasn't going to hurt her though.

* * *

**A/N: I'm not sure everyone will agree with the Caskett chat in this chapter, but I hope it's okay. From my point of view, it's one of the many conversations they needed to have before getting together! Your thoughts are very much appreciated :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I'm sure a lot of you are just waiting for Castle and Beckett to get together and I can promise you they will - but not yet. I still have a few ideas that need to be written - starting with the twins tricking Castle. So I'm sorry if that's what you're waiting on, but patience is a virtue ;) **

* * *

"..yeah. Okay, thanks Lanie," Beckett said, putting the phone on her desk down. "That was Lanie," she told Castle unnecessarily - he had been sat right next to her desk throughout the whole phone call. "The morgue has nothing, there's a a backlog in the lab apparently, results on our victim won't be in until lunchtime at the earliest tomorrow, so we still have no idea who she is." She hated cases like this, she at least liked to know the name of the victim so that they could figure out where to start. And at the same time, that girl lying on Lanie's table was somebody's daughter - but they didn't know who.

She looked up as Esposito came back into the bullpen after doing a canvass of the area. "Find anything?" She asked, hoping they'd found a bag or a purse belonging to their victim.

"Nope, nothing," Esposito replied. "Get anything from Lanie?"

"No," she grumbled, "backlog at the lab -we're looking at tomorrow lunchtime at the earliest."

"No CCTV cameras picked her up either," Ryan said, returning from talking to tech. "Either she knew where they were and avoided them or it's just bad luck."

"Yeah well, we aren't going to be able to do much until we get an ID," Beckett said standing up and collecting her things. "Let's get out of here, it's already 6.30."

There was no protest from the others and the four of them rode the elevator down to the lobby together.

"So, 8.30 ish at The Old Haunt then?" Castle asked.

"Sure bro, see you there," Esposito said while Ryan nodded in agreement.

"So what do you think of Ethan so far?" Castle asked as he slid into the passenger seat of Beckett's car.

"I've got no idea, I only met him for about two minutes while he waited for Charlie. He seems nice enough and I haven't seen Charlie this happy in ages..but I'm still a cop, and whether she likes it or not I'm going to end up checking him out," Beckett admitted, pulling the car away from the curb and heading towards Castle's apartment to drop him off. She was a little surprised actually, all afternoon he'd been like he was before their arguments and admissions - like nothing had ever happened. She wasn't knocking it, it was amazing to have him back but she had expected a little more hostility.

"What, you've done it before?"

"Of course I have!" Beckett said with a laugh, "ran a background check on practically every guy she met when I first joined the force. It didn't happen when she was away, given that I had no idea who she was seeing, but now that she's back I'm going to do it again..probably not tell her though."

"Beckett, I uh..know you're doing the whole protective cop sister thing but Charlie is a grown woman.."

"I know she is, Castle," Beckett sighed, "but I still worry about her. Comes with the job, I guess..you've seen what we see on a day to day basis and I know I'd never forgive myself if she ended up like some of our victims and I hadn't checked her boyfriend out."

"So who's looking out for you?" He asked.

"I can look out for myself, Castle," she laughed. "I have run background checks on guys _I've_ been with too, you know."

"Yeah I do," he grumbled, "first time you brought me in for questioning you practically read me my whole file."

Beckett let out a laugh and Castle thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He loved her when she was like this - things like admitting she ran background checks on her sisters dates, being much more vulnerable than the Kate Beckett he had met a few years ago.

"I had just brought my favourite author in for questioning - you didn't think I was going to pass up an opportunity to know everything did you?"

At his lack of response, she glanced over at him to see him grinning like the cat who had got the cream. "What?" She asked.

"You just said I'm your favourite author," he exclaimed gleefully and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, Castle, you have to know by now that I'm a fan?"

"Still nice to hear you admit it," he said as she pulled up outside his apartment. "Okay, so I'll see you in a bit, I'll probably already be there - just gonna grab a shower and change of clothes and then go over, check things are all okay."

"Great, I'll see you soon then," she smiled as he shut the door. She watched him enter his building, saying hello to the doorman as he did, before turning her car around and heading to her own place.

Arriving back at her apartment, Kate wandered into the kitchen to find that Charlie had left a note -

'_Gone out with Ethan, I'll see you at The Old Haunt about 8 - don't be late!'_ It read.

Beckett laughed before putting it in the bin and heading into her bathroom for a shower. She ran the water and stripped her clothes off, leaving them in a pile on the bathroom floor. Testing the water's temperature, she got completely in, standing under the spray of hot water.

She liked showers, they gave her time to think. And right now, she was thinking about Castle and where they were going. She loved him, of that she was sure, but she couldn't tell him yet..she needed him to know she meant it and right now wasn't the time. She'd literally just told him she lied about what she heard when she was shot, telling him now would only mean him thinking she was saying it so he'd forgive her.

But she wasn't sure how much longer she could wait. When she thought about it properly, she'd probably been in love with him for a good two years now, if not longer. As much as she wouldn't have admitted it to herself at the time, there was a reason she let him back after he looked into her mothers case and the same again after the summer he didn't call.

Ah, the summer he didn't call. That was the moment that sealed the deal if there was one. Watching him walk away from her with his perfect blonde _ex wife_ had damn near killed her. She was about to lay her heart on the line and he ruined it. Well, it wasn't exactly his fault - she had been with Tom at the time and had given him no indication that she was going to end it with him, so she couldn't really blame him. Didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch though.

Stepping out of the shower, she reached for her towel and wrapped herself in it, heading back into her bedroom. Glancing at her phone, she saw she had two messages. The first was from Charlie:

'_Movie has just finished, we're heading over to the bar now_,' it read, '_did you ask Esposito and Ryan if they were coming?'_

Beckett tapped out a quick reply: _'yeah they're coming, Lanie and Jenny too_,' now, did she tell her about Castle or did she surprise her? _'And I've got a surprise for you when I get there too ;)'_ she hit send, a smile on her face.

The second message was from Lanie:

'_Girl, Javi tells me writer-boy showed up today - things okay with you two now?_' She had told Lanie on Monday what she had told Castle and Lanie had been the typical best friend.

'_I think they could be_,' she replied, _'he's coming tonight so I'll see you there.'_

Putting her phone down, she opened her wardrobe to decide what she was going to wear. She settled on a pair of her favourite skinny jeans, teaming it with a loose-fitting white top and her black leather jacket. Slipping into the clothes, she grabbed her hair dryer, roughly driving her hair off before leaving it to dry the rest naturally. She was just about to sort out her make up when her phone beeped again, Castle this time.

'_Im just about to leave, you want me to pick you up?_' She thought for a moment; his place was fifteen minutes away - she could be ready in that time.

'_Sure_,' she replied, _'that would be great, thanks :)'_

Quickly finishing her make up, she found a pair of boots to match her outfit, sprayed her perfume and waited for him to arrive. He text when he did and she grabbed her bag and keys, heading down to meet him.

"Why are you rolling your eyes at me?" He asked, as she climbed in, "I haven't even said anything yet!"

"Castle, when you said you were coming to pick me up, I assumed _you_ were driving, not that you were using the car service!"

"Well what's the point in me having it if I don't use it?"

She shook her head at him, muttering something about rich people.

"You love me anyway," he huffed and she froze. A quick glance at him reassured her it had just been a throwaway comment, but what he didn't realise was how close to the truth he had actually got.

"How's Alexis?" She asked, desperate to change the subject.

"She's okay, stressing about graduation and college and moving on but she's getting there. Paige is over tonight, they're having a sleepover with movies and ice cream."

"Sounds like my kinda night," she admitted.

He looked at her in suprise before saying, "just say the word, Detective, and it's yours."

"You know, I might just take you up on that," she replied playfully.

"I hope you do," he said as they arrived at the bar. "Come on, let's see if Charlie is here yet."

"Kate!" A voice called out when they walked in, "over here!"

Turning to her left, Kate saw Charlie and Ethan sat in their usual booth. "Hey guys," she said, sliding in opposite Charlie. "I uh, brought Castle with me.." She said shyly as he slid into the seat next to her.

Charlie's eyes widened and Kate knew she was bursting to say something but couldn't. "Hi, Castle," she settled on, smiling warmly at him.

"Charlie, good to see you again. I'm Rick," he said, holding his hand out to Ethan.

"Ethan," he replied, shaking Castle's hand. "You're the uh, writer, right?" He asked in bemusement, Charlie hadn't said her sister knew Richard Castle.

"I am indeed," Castle smiled, "Charlie tell you did she?"

"Actually no, I didn't," Charlie butted in and Kate grinned. "You know I only read those Nikki Heat books because I was bored, Castle," she teased.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Castle replied, "I bet you read them all really."

"Nope, that would be Kate," Charlie quipped. "I just liked the character in Nikki Heat..not so sure about Rook though.."

"Mm, I get what you mean," Kate joined in, "he's a bit..."

"Katherine Beckett you finish that sentence and I swear to god.."

"What?" She asked Castle, "what're you going to do? Kill Nikki off? I don't think Gina would be too pleased.."

"Gina wasn't happy when I killed Derrick Storm, look at her now!"

"Well," Ethan interrupted, "_I_ wasn't happy when you killed Derrick Storm, but the Nikki Heat books are something else! I heard you actually shadow a real-life detective, is that true?"

Castle and Kate looked to Charlie who simply shrugged, she hadn't even mentioned Castle to Ethan, never mind that he was almost practically her brother in law. And she might have briefly mentioned that Kate was a cop, but it hadn't really come up, they just seemed to have _so much_ to talk about..

"Yep, it's true," Kate confirmed, "the poor detective who has put up with him for four years is sat right here."

Ethan gasped in suprise. "_You're_ Nikki Heat?" He asked and Kate nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked Charlie.

"Never came up," Charlie said. "To be honest, I've only known since I came back home, my dear sister didn't tell me." She smiled sweetly at Kate.

Kate was denied the opportunity for a snarky remark by Ana, one of the bar staff coming over. "Evening Mr Castle, Detective Beckett and uh.." She looked from Kate to Charlie, seemingly confused.

"My sister," Kate told her, "Charlie, this is Ana, Ana, this is Charlie."

"Nice to meet you," Charlie said, "don't worry about it, even Castle here didn't know I existed until two weeks ago..long story!"

"Yeah, I bet! Anyway, the usual for you two?" She asked Kate and Rick who both nodded and Charlie and Ethan gave their orders too.

"You have a usual? And the barmaid knows your names?" Ethan said, "come here a lot do you?"

"Something like that," Kate muttered and Charlie and Rick both laughed.

"What?' Ethan said, "what did I say?"

"I uh..I own the place," Castle said. "This bar is mine, that's why Ana knows who we are and what we drink."

"Man that is so cool!" Ethan said. "I've heard about this place..how long have you owned it?"

"Not long, a year or so," Castle said, "but I love it, and the guys from Kate's precinct are in here sometimes too, makes me feel more like a real cop," he grinned and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of which, Espo and Ryan should be here soon.." Kate said, looking behind her to the door, just as it opened and Lanie walked in, closely followed by the others.

They spotted them, and made their way over to the booth, just as Ana was bringing their drinks over.

"Hey girl," Lanie said, grinning at Kate, "should have known you two would already be here!"

Kate smiled at Lanie, before introducing everyone to Ethan. Once they'd all settled down and found a place to sit, Ana came back over to take their drink orders.

"Anyone hungry?" Castle asked and a round of "yeah, I am" rang out, prompting a round of laughter. "Great, I'll get Marco to cook us up some pizza if you want?" He said, moving to slide out of the booth.

"Marco's in tonight?" Kate asked, "man, I haven't seen him in forever! Hold up, I'm coming too.." She said, following Castle towards the kitchen.

"Should I be worried about your affection for Marco?" Castle asked.

"Depends, cook me pizza one night and I'll decide," she teased playfully and Castle stared at her, dumbstruck by her current mood. She was best like this, he decided, playful and flirty, he hoped that never stopped.

When Kate and Rick rejoined the others after putting in an order with Marco, they were getting to know Ethan a little better and Kate could tell Espo and Ryan were determining how good he was for Charlie, which she appreciated. They might not know her very well, but they knew Kate and she knew they'd do anything for her, and her for them.

"Pizza is being made as we speak," Castle said as they sat back down, "and trust me, it's the best."

"It is," Kate supplied helpfully, "how he does it I'll never know."

"If pizza like that puts a smile on your face I'll order it for you every damn day," Castle growled into her ear and she blushed, hoping no one else had noticed. Luck wasn't on her side though, both Lanie and Charlie were giving her pointed looks.

"I think I'd get fat," she laughed.

"I don't care," Castle replied quietly, "if you let me I'm willing to try and put _that_ smile on your face for the rest of your life."

"That's a long time," she counteracted, grateful that the others seemed to be engrossed in conversation.

"Or not long enough," he whispered and she blushed again. _Damn him._

"Keep it up Castle and I might just let you. So, Ethan, Charlie tells me you're a property developer?" She said, effectively changing the subject. Castle squeezed her thigh lightly and she smiled up at him - she couldn't remember being this happy in a long time.

* * *

**A/N: I know this is another kind of filler chapter, with nothing really happening, but I hope you're not getting bored - we are getting there, I promise! Reviews more than welcome :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: ****To those of you who left nice reviews - thank you, means a lot xxx**

**PS: I know some of you think Castle might have forgiven her too quick, but there's a reason for it and I shall explain when I get to it, probably in a couple of chapters time.**

**PPS: (added after finishing) I've just read this through and I kinda hate it so I apologise if it's completely crappy.**

* * *

"You and Castle looked pretty cozy tonight," Charlie stated as they made their way back into Kate's apartment.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kate replied nonchantly, "that's what we're always like." _Liar._ They weren't always like that and she knew it - and she suspected Charlie knew it too.

"Right..so that's why Lanie asked me if the two of you had finally gotten together then? Because nothing was out of the ordinary..besides, you didn't even tell me the two of you were talking again."

"We weren't until this afternoon," Kate admitted, "he came to the precinct to say he'd been thinking and although he was still angry, he wanted us to try and move on."

"And tonight? What was that all about, because I saw his hands under the table and I don't think they were resting on _Esposito's_ leg now were they?"

"Oh shut it," Kate grumbled. "I don't know what was going on, okay? He made some flirty comments about Marco's pizza and the smile it put on my face and-"

"And you made love eyeballs at each other all night, I was there, remember? I mean, I know you were all caught up with lover boy but still, I'm a little offended that you didn't remember your own sister being there!" Charlie teased, a grin on her face.

"We did _not_ make_ love eyeballs_ at each other!"

"Oh you so did, jeez the two of you are sickening!"

"Yeah well I'm not the one who had their tongue down someone's throat, am I Charlotte?" Kate counteracted, "what happened to not putting out on the first date?"

"It was actually our second date _and_ I haven't slept with him yet. What am I, 16? God, you sound like mom." They both froze at her last comment, turning to face each other with what they imagined to be matching wide-eyed looks. "I..god-"

"Don't worry about it," Kate whispered, half a smile crossing her face, "it's just a saying..and you're right, that's probably what she would be saying to you right now."

"She would, wouldn't she?" Charlie laughed, both of them glad to see the tension had left the room. "I miss her, you know," she whispered.

"Me too," Kate replied. "But she'd be proud of us..her little girls all grown up. And I know you don't want to talk about it but one day I'll get justice for her, I promise."

"Just..don't get hurt, Kate. I couldn't face losing my sister."

"I won't," Kate walked the short distance to where Charlie was standing and wrapped her arms around her. "Besides, I've got the best partner in the city if you listen to Castle, he wouldn't let me look into it if he thought there was any real danger." Little did she know how true her words were. "Now come on, it's late and I've got work tomorrow..hey, you should come down..Gates isn't in and I know you've always wanted to see what we get up to.."

"Can I see the dead bodies?" Charlie asked excitedly.

"God you sound like Castle," she laughed, "yes, if you're good I'm sure Lanie won't mind an extra visitor."

"Great!" Charlie exclaimed. "Night Kate."

"G'night Charlie."

* * *

Stripping her clothes off and leaving them in a pile on the floor, Kate heard her phone beep just as she was climbing into bed - Castle.

'_Hey, you get home okay?_' It said.

She grinned at his doubtful tone, sometimes she wondered if he forgot she was actually a trained NYPD detective and not a poor, defenceless woman. '_Nope, I got kidnapped by a mob boss. He's probably taking me somewhere to have his wicked way with me..'_ She typed back, not being able to resist teasing him. Lying down, she placed her phone next to her to wait for his reply - she knew he wouldn't be able to resist replying to that.

A few seconds later, her phone rang instead. Glancing at the caller ID, she rolled her eyes. "Castle, I was joking," she laughed, "I'm all tucked up in bed."

"Yeah I knew you were joking, I just wanted to commend you for making a joke."

"Er, thanks?" She said, "not like I haven't made jokes before.."

"Yeah well, I liked this one," he replied and she could practically see him shrugging his shoulders as he said it. "Wait, did you say you were in bed?"

"Yeah..it's usually what happens at the end of the day when it gets dark.."

"What are you wearing?" He asked and she replied before she could even think about it.

"Nothing."

It wasn't until she heard the groan on the other end of the phone that she realised what she'd said and her cheeks flamed. "Jesus Beckett, are you purposely trying to drive me insane?" He ground out and she could tell it had had some sort of effect on him.

"Trust me, Castle, if I was trying to tease you I'd make sure you knew about it," she replied flirtatiously.

"Stop. Unless you want this conversation going down a whole different path then you need to stop."

"And if I don't?"

She heard him take a deep breath before he replied. "Then tell Charlie to make herself scarce."

_Shit_. Oh god she had not expected him to say that and she had most _definitely_ not expected the fluttering low in her abdomen.

He sensed her hesitation to reply and let out a laugh. "I'll let you get some sleep, Beckett. Oh wait, I was thinking - do you and Charlie want to come over on Friday night? I'll invite Espo, Ryan, Jenny and Lanie..and Charlie can invite Ethan. Just a little get together, we can order take out and have a few drinks.."

"You know what, Castle - that sounds good. I'll tell Charlie and we can tell the boys tomorrow."

"Great, until tomorrow?"

"Night, Castle," she laughed, cutting the call off with a grin.

* * *

Leaving her bedroom the next morning, Kate found Charlie already in the kitchen making coffee.

"You're up early," she said, gratefully taking the steaming mug Charlie pushed towards her. "Thanks."

"Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Figured rather than coming into the precinct later, I'll go in with you if that's alright?"

"Course it is. You decided what you wanna do yet or are you going to join Castle and follow me around at work everyday?"

"Not a bad idea..Castle and I could create many elaborate theories on your cases.."

"Don't even think about it," Beckett warned. Castle making ridiculous comments was bad enough without Charlie encouraging him.

"I'm sure you've got your hands full with Castle," Charlie laughed. "I'm not sure..I mean I want to go back to teaching, it's what I love but it's a hell of a lot of work. I've got more than enough money for a few months, so maybe I'll just take some time out? Schools almost out for summer, anyway, if I want to go back to teaching then it'll be September."

"As long as you're happy," Kate said, "now come on, we've got killers to catch!"

* * *

Beckett remembered her conversation with Castle from the previous night when they were stuck in rush hour traffic heading towards the precinct.

"Castle asked if you wanna go round Friday night?" She said, "he's going to invite the boys and Lanie and Jenny, said you can invite Ethan too if you want. Just drinks and take out at his place."

"Sure, sounds good, I'll text Ethan now," Charlie smiled, digging out her phone and rattling off the text message. "Wait, why didn't you say last night when we got home?"

"I um..forgot."

"Yeah? You do know you can't to lie to me right?"

"Oh fine, he called last night, happy?"

"For what? Katherine Beckett did you and Castle have phone sex last night?"

"No we did not!" Beckett exclaimed, her cheeks burning up in embarrassment. "He text to see if I got home okay and I said I'd been kidnapped by a mob boss. He called to say he liked my joke and we talked for a bit, that's all." _Sort of_.

"Uh huh, remember what I said about lying to me?" Kate was saved from replying by Charlie's phone alerting her to a new message. "Ah, Ethan can't make it Friday, he's flying to Dallas on Thursday night for business meetings."

"Okay, not a problem, you're still coming right?"

"And give up the chance to see you and Castle make more love eyeballs at each other? Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Beckett ignored her last comment.

* * *

"Yo Beckett, lab results are- wait, you're not Beckett.." Espostio said, pausing his results.

"Well technically she is, just not the one you want. What've you got, Espo?" Kate said, arriving just behind Charlie.

"Here," he said, passing her the results he had in his hand. "How come you're both here?"

"Charlie wanted to come in for a bit, see what we get up to. Gates isn't in so I guess it's fine," Beckett said, glancing over the results. "Didn't think these were in until this afternoon?"

"Lab rushed the through, don't question it. At least we have an ID now."

"Good point. Wait, how did you know Charlie wasn't me?" Kate asked, she didn't think it was that obvious.

"The shoes," Espo replied glancing down at Charlie's white converse - not something Kate wore to work. "What," he said at their looks, "I'm a detective."

"Okay..moving on. Let's get next of kin for our vic, see where that leads us." Kate led Charlie over to the murder board, now able to pin up a picture of their victim.

"Wow, it's all systems go around here isn't it!" Charlie said, glancing around at the busy hustling of police officers and detectives. "Is it always like this?"

"Pretty much," Beckett shrugged, "if we've got a few cases going, it's normally a rush in here."

Ryan came over to say hi just as Castle arrived. "Good morning my favourite detective - and Beckett. Wait, there's two of you? Oh my, am I dreaming?"

"Stop being so dramatic, Castle," Kate said, "Charlie's here today, wants to see what we get up to."

"Figured you might need some help on your crazy theories too," Charlie grinned.

"Oh this day just gets better!" Castle squealed.

"Right, well while you two are making things up about ninjas and spies, we're going to do some actual detecting," Kate said as her and Ryan headed over to Esposito.

"We've got an address for the next of kin," Espo said. "Want us to check it out?"

"Please, I'll take tweedledee and tweedledum over there to the morgue to see if Lanie has a CoD yet, see if that ruins their mood slightly," Beckett sighed, today was going to be a long day with Castle _and_ Charlie to control.

"Sure you don't want us to take one of them?" Espo asked and Kate couldn't help but laugh, it was as if they were babysitting toddlers, not working with her sister and her writer. _A_ writer, she corrected herself - he wasn't hers yet.

"No, it's fine, I'll get Lanie to calm Charlie down a bit - talking her through the way she does an autopsy should do it, call me if you get anything. Come on you two, we're going to the morgue."

"Oo, it's like an adventure!" Charlie said and Beckett groaned again. Why was her sister acting like a child? Surely being here wasn't _that_ exciting..though she had to admit, her sister and Castle were pretty similar in some ways.

"Good morning, Lanie," Castle called as the three of them entered the morgue. "And how are you this morning?"

"Someone's chipper for this early," Lanie grumbled, "don't tell me you two went home together last night?" She teased, looking from Kate to Castle.

"No, we didn't," Kate replied, ignoring the stare she knew Charlie was giving her, "which you would have known if you and Espo hadn't snuck off so early."

"Oh, so that's where you went!" Charlie said, "I was wondering why I couldn't find you.."

"Alright alright, stop," Lanie said, "I take it you're here about the victim?" Kate nodded. "Well I've got a cause of death - trichloromethane."

"A what now?" Charlie asked, throughly confused.

"Chloroform poisoning?" Castle and Beckett said in unison and Lanie nodded. "She was suffocated?" They said again at the same time and Charlie looked at them in bewilderment.

"Are they always like this?" Charlie asked Lanie.

"Yes to both questions," she replied, "there's traces of the cloth used around her mouth and these two are always doing that shared brain thingy."

"Great, thanks Lanie," Kate said, "let us know if you get anything else."

"Hey Kate, can I have a word?" Charlie said as they rode the elevator back up to homicide.

"Sure, what's up?" Kate asked and Charlie looked at Castle.

"I'll go make coffee," he said and Kate smiled at him appreciatively as he went, allowing her to speak with Charlie.

"Hello?" Charlie said, "stop staring at his ass, I want to speak to you."

Crap, she had been as well. "Sorry...what's wrong?"

"Well I was thinking..you know Friday when we all go to Castle's?" Kate nodded. "Well how would you feel about us trying to convince him you're me and I'm you..?"

"You want us to do it when everyone else is there too?" Kate asked skeptically, she wasn't sure they could convince them all.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun!" Charlie said, "we know I can convince Castle I'm you, everyone else should be much easier and I figured if Ethan isn't there then we can do it."

"Why does Ethan not being there have anything to do with it?"

"Because although I'll be pretending I'm you and shooting surreptitious glances at Castle, I didn't think you'd be comfortable snuggling up with the guy I'm dating," Charlie pointed out.

"Okay, fair point. Fine, we can give it a go," she agreed. God, who was she and what had she done with Kate Beckett?

* * *

**A/N: see what I mean? I don't know why I hate it, can't put my finger on it precisely so that's why it's staying like this - can't change it if I don't know what to change! Thoughts would be appreciated, let's see if any of you can figure out what I did wrong in this chapter!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: this story has turned out pretty much the complete opposite to how it was supposed to. I'm sure some of you will have worked out that the original 'plan' I spoke about in the first few chapters was the twins tricking Castle, and it was going to be the main theme. However I got so caught up in the Caskett scenes and so I decided to just go with it, taking each chapter as it came and using some of your reviews for inspiration - and this is the result. A fair few of you said the tricking Castle thing is getting old now and doesn't seem fair, but I'm taking a risk and going ahead with it - but before you all give up on this story, it's going to be for a small part of the chapter and Kate will put a stop to it (certain emotions come into play;)) so please, give this chapter a chance and after this, Caskett getting together is full steam ahead!**

**To everyone who has left me a review so far - thank you. I probably don't say it enough but I promise I read every single review and it makes me so happy knowing you're enjoying this story, even if I don't always say it, so thank you. Got to over 300 reviews on the last chapter which is the best response I've ever had to a story, you're all amazing :)**

**PS: I know it's set just before Always, but we're assuming 47 seconds didn't happen (because Kate told Castle) and neither did/will Headhunters, so the 'case' I talk about is a made up one, not relevant to much really..just to maybe, magnify already present feelings?**

* * *

With Gates staying longer at a conference than planned, Charlie had joined Kate, Esposito, Ryan and Castle at the precinct for the rest of the week. It wasn't that Kate was necessarily against Gates knowing, it was just that Gates was only just getting used to Castle being around in 'her' precinct, she was hardly likely to welcome another non-detective too.

And as much as Kate hated to admit it, she had actually enjoyed it. It sounded a bit weird saying she 'hated' to admit it, but she'd always tried to keep her professional life apart from her relationship with Charlie, with how things had been between them when their mom died, but Charlie had brought a lighter mood to a particularly disturbing case. Even Castle had refrained from his crazy theories on this case, when the body of a three year old had been found under a house when the new tenants had moved in and begin refurbishments. Charlie and Castle had worked together though, to cheer them all up a bit, without forgetting the reason this case was so hard. They'd made jokes when appropriate and at no other time and Castle had brought doughnuts in after lunch.

They'd made it to Friday and 4.30pm found Kate and Castle in the interrogation room with their number one suspect on the case. Charlie had left, letting them nail their suspect without her around. Normally, Kate would have gone into the interrogation alone, knowing that they needed this more than anything, but she felt as a father, there was no way Castle would screw this one up, he'd already mentioned not knowing how he'd cope if that had ever happened when Alexis was a kid.

They questioned him relentlessly for an hour, neither of them giving in and not letting anything go, but finally, they had a result - he confessed. His lawyer could see no way of bargaining for anything, so it looked like he was going down for the rest of his life.

"Tough case, hey," Castle said, sitting himself down on his chair next to Beckett's desk.

"Yeah it was," Beckett sighed, "but we got the result we wanted in the end, I just hope the family can take it for what it's worth. Nothing will ever bring their little girl back but knowing he can't do it to anyone else should help in the tiniest way."

"You're remarkable, you know?"

"It's just my job, Castle."

"It is, you're right, but you're so damn amazing at it. You can go from slamming a suspect down in interrogation to offering your condolences to a grieving family in ten seconds flat. Not many people could do that, not convincingly anyway, but you can. And you mean every single word you say and I think that makes you remarkable."

"I- uh..thanks, I guess.." She replied. He didn't often say things like this, it was a little surprising and she had to admit, she liked this serious side of him, proved he really was just what she needed. "But um, I couldn't have done any of it without you, you know."

"Well what are partners for, hey?" He smiled. "Now come on, paperwork can wait until Monday. Still on for tonight?"

"Of course, I think we're all going to need a good night anyway, and I can't think of anything more perfect than what you have planned."

"Great, you wanna head home and I'll get a cab, come over when you're ready?" He asked, standing up to leave. They'd all arranged on heading over to Castle's for around 8, planning on ordering in and drinking more than a couple of bottles of wine.

"Sure, sounds good," she said, "I've gotta talk to Charlie about something anyway so we'll see you in a bit?"

"Great, see you later," he smiled, heading towards the elevator while Kate gathered her things. She would have suggested he come with her to her apartment and wait while she changed, but she had to talk to Charlie alone first..

* * *

"Hey, you're home earlier than I thought you would be," Charlie said, glancing up from painting her nails as Kate walked in.

"Yeah..dirtbag confessed," she replied, "leaving the paperwork until Monday, we all need a break now."

"So you're still on for Castle's then? I was half expecting you to turn around and say you didn't wanna go.."

"I'm still in," Beckett smiled, "I could do with it actually. But uh..I did wanna talk to you.."

"Really? What have I done now?"

"Nothing..yet. Look Charlie, do you really think fooling Castle is a good idea?" Charlie looked at her but didn't say anything. "I mean, we've done it a couple of times now and the two of us are just getting somewhere..I don't wanna ruin it."

"Kateeeee," Charlie whined, reminding her scarily of Castle, "come on, it'll be fun!"

"It would be..but I just don't think it's fair.." Kate said, "he's.._everything_ to me and I don't want to ruin whatever it is we have.."

"Okay, fine. But you're sure you don't wanna have a little bit more fun? God knows you all need it after this case.."

Kate thought about it for a minute. Charlie had a point, it would give them all a laugh when they revealed who they really were and she knew it was exactly the kind of thing that would amuse Castle.. "Fine, we'll give it a go. But the second I change my mind we stop and tell them we were having a laugh, deal?"

"Deal. Now go get changed, you can't go like that."

An hour later and Kate had showered and changed and Charlie was now painting Kate's nails for her - choosing a dark plum colour as opposed to her own pillar box red.

"So," Kate said, in between blowing air onto her drying nails, "things with Ethan still okay?"

"Great," Charlie beamed. "We've been speaking every night and we're seeing each other again on Monday, he gets back from Dallas on Sunday afternoon so we're meeting for lunch." Kate could hardly contain her smile at seeing her sister so happy about her new relationship.

"Well you'll be pleased to know he passed the big brother test."

"We don't have a big broth- did you set Esposito and Ryan on him?"

_Oops_. "I um..yeah?" _Oh well, might as well admit it now._ "Look, I didn't know anything about him, he could have been a mass murderer for all I knew! I just wanted them to..talk to him, get to know him and it doesn't matter, anyway, they said he seems genuine."

"Which I could have told you for myself! I'm not a kid, Kate and I know you're a cop and you worry but I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Charlie but I still panic. That man we arrested today? He's got a law degree and was a respected member of the community. In this job, I've learnt no one can be trusted and to be wary of everyone, including anyone you date. Maybe you're right, maybe I shouldn't have done it but Espo and Ryan were more than happy to help, they know how much I care about you and they care about me, I just asked them to get to know him a bit."

"I know you care, Kate, you always have, I just..we're the same age and I feel like sometimes you treat me like I'm your little sister.."

"I guess I just worry more than you..probably a career thing, I mean why would you think every person you came into contact with was a serial killer, not really what goes through your head as a teacher!"

"Just..don't do it again," Charlie said, offering a small smile.

"Sweetie, the way you're talking about Ethan I can't see me ever having to," Kate grinned and Charlie threw a cushion at her. "Now come on, let's go annoy Castle."

* * *

"Evening Castle," Charlie said as he opened the door to her and Kate - who was pretending to be Charlie. "We're a little early but I was getting the third degree from Charlotte here, so we came over. Hope that's okay?"

Oh, so they were playing that game huh? He almost laughed at the fact that they still thought he couldn't tell them apart. "Um Kate, have you already had one of these?" He said, glancing at the bottle of wine she passed him as she walked into the loft, Kate close behind.

"One of- no! I drove here, Castle, no drinking allowed," Charlie said.

"You just seem extraordinarily happy," he smiled.

"We got the guy, closed the case. It's the weekend, I'm not on call and I'm about to spend the night with some of my favourite people, why wouldn't I be happy?" Charlie asked, hoping she was right and Kate actually wasn't on call - or if she was, that Castle didn't know.

Kate was torn. As much as she loved actually being the one to annoy Castle for once instead of the other way around, she couldn't believe she was about to put a stop to it - because she was jealous. "Okay okay, we can stop now," Kate said.

"Really?" Castle said and both Kate and Charlie turned to face him, "oh come on, you didn't think you'd actually fooled me, right?" He asked, "oh my god you did!" He half squealed. "This is amazing, wait until I tell Alexis!"

"You knew..?" Kate asked.

"Of course I did!"

"How?" The sisters asked in unison and Kate and Castle looked to Charlie before at each other.

"It's normally us.." Castle whispered. It was a bit strange, the saying the same thing at the same time thing with someone else. "Anyway," he recovered quickly. "A few things from that afternoon I came to see if Kate was okay and Charlie answered..but pretended to be Kate: first, I expected Kate's eyes to darken slightly and they didn't - first indication it was Charlie. Second, Charlie apologised like three times in a minute and after the conversation I'd just had with Kate, I thought that was highly unlikely and third, Charlie's face when I started bringing up feelings!"

Charlie looked to Kate - that had been the part she had overheard and taken the wrong way, but thankfully Kate just laughed. "Seriously? You've known all this time and you didn't say anything?" Kate said.

"Why would I? I figured the two of you were having fun and no one was getting hurt, so why not let you play about a bit?" He replied as another knock at the door came. "Could you get that, Kate?" He asked, opening the bottle of wine and pouring glasses. "I just realised I never got the two of you a drink."

"Uh, sure.." Kate said, feeling a bit weird at opening the door to someone else's apartment. "Hey guys," she smiled, seeing Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny on the doorstep. "Come in."

"Something you forgot to tell us?" Lanie asked, raising her eyebrows, "didn't realise you'd moved in.."

"She hasn't yet, but I was busy so I asked her to get it," Castle said, appearing next to Kate. "Come in, guys, let's get you some drinks.."

The boys made to follow Castle but Lanie and Jenny stayed behind with Kate, and the three of them were joined by Charlie. "Yet?" Lanie hissed. "What's that all about?"

_Crap, they'd noticed that?_ "Oh you know," she joked, "just Castle playing about as usual. So, how are you both?" She asked, trying to change the subject.

"Don't think you're getting away with that, Kate Beckett," Lanie said, following the others to the kitchen.

"Ah, there you all are," Castle said, "here we go, take a glass." He passed around glasses of wine, holding his up to make a toast. "To great friends," he smiled, his eyes meeting with Kate's.

"To great friends," they echoed, a blush forming on Kate's face. "Shall we order? I'm starving.." She suggested.

"Great idea," Castle agreed, "everyone okay with Chinese?" They all nodded and murmured their agreement, and Castle pulled out his phone placing the order. "I just ordered this assortment we've had before, hope that's okay with everyone?" He said as he put his phone down.

Everyone seemed relieved at that, it meant they didn't have to spend twenty minutes deciding what to order.

"Shall we make ourselves more comfortable?" Charlie asked, heading to the lounge. "Jeez Castle, didn't offer us a drink..made us stand in the kitchen.." She teased.

"Oh god..I'm sorry-" he began but Kate cut him off with a laugh, "she's joking, Castle, you're a great host," she smiled as the others followed Charlie's lead. "Let me help you get plates and stuff and then we can join them."

"You don't have to do that," Castle told her, "go join them, have fun."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to," she replied, opening the drawer to pull out the cutlery.

_God he loved her_. "Uh, Kate?" He asked and the uncertainty in his voice immediately put her on edge, this couldn't be good..

"Yes, Castle?" She asked as calmly as she could.

"Why did you uh, stop Charlie? From pretending to be you, I mean."

Not really what she had been expecting. "I wanted my writer back," she blurted out without thinking.

"I..what..?" He asked, a grin forming in his face.

_Dammit brain, why couldn't you stop sending those words to my mouth?_ "I um.." _Might as well admit it, not gonna move forward if you're not honest_.. Came a voice in her ear, sounding suspiciously like Charlie. "I wanted my writer back," she repeated, shrugging her shoulders. "Got a problem?"

"Nope, no problem, no problem at all," he said quickly. "So uh..I'm _your_ writer now am I?"

"Well I'm a one-writer girl, remember? Doesn't seem fair if it's not the other way round too.."

"I guess it wouldn't be.." He grinned.

"Oh stop gloating, Castle, it makes you less attractive." _Foot, meet mouth_..

"Oh, so you think I'm attractive?" She should have known he wouldn't let that one drop.

"You're alright, I guess," she answered non-commitedly.

"Just alright?" He pressed.

Rolling her eyes she whirled around to face him, jumping slightly when she came face to face with his chest - she hadn't realised he was that close. "Yes, Castle, I find you attractive," she admitted, "happy now?"

"Oh ecstatic," he grinned again and Kate turned back around to find the others staring at them.

_Crap_.

"Well, at least she's finally admitting it," Lanie said.

_Sounds like they heard a little more than I would have liked_, Kate thought. Cheeks flaming, she busied herself with putting paper napkins on each plate.

"I wouldn't worry about it Kate," Castle whispered in her ear from behind her. "If it helps, I find you pretty damn attractive too."

_Damn him._

* * *

**A/N: *hides under the table* so..thoughts?**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I'm trying to please everybody! I know Rick still needs to tell Kate his secret, but I thought they deserved a couple of happy chapters first! Wasn't sure I'd get this up tonight, given that I was a bit stuck as to what to write and it took like four hours but I hope you enjoy it :)**

**Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews :)**

* * *

After pulling out plates for everyone, placing napkins on them all, along with cutlery and a glass of water each, Castle and Beckett were running out of things to do in the kitchen, both silently admitting that they really should join the others. Unfortunately, Esposito had also realised that they were done faffing about.

"Yo Castle, Beckett," he called from the living room. "Are you planning on joining us or did you want us to give you some privacy?"

Castle chuckled and Kate blushed once again. "Oh shut up Esposito," she replied as they traipsed to the living room, "or I'll tell everyone what happened that time at the strip club stakeout."

"You wouldn't dare?" He asked, a slight wave of panic crossing his face.

"Keep quiet and I won't," she teased, poking her tongue out at him. "So, how's married life treating you then Jenny?"

"Oh it's amazing," Jenny gushed, shooting a lovesick look at her husband. "We've never been happier!"

Esposito made gagging noises which earned him a slap round the head from Lanie but Charlie caught the way Kate smiled at the married couple. She'd never seen her sister like this, so blatantly in love and it looked good on her, she was pleased. Castle was a great guy and she couldn't think of anyone better for Kate than Rick, she knew he'd give Kate the world if she asked for it but she also knew that Kate would do anything for Castle, her comment about him being 'everything' to her had proven that.

Another knock at the door came and this time Castle didn't ask Kate to get it, heading over, he opened the door and paid for their food, adding a generous tip to the delivery guy. "Foods here guys!" He called out and Kate jumped up to help again, ignoring the pointed looks from Charlie and Lanie. Castle piled the food containers onto the coffee table in the lounge and helped Kate bring the plates and cutlery in. "Dig in, everyone," Castle said, "there's plenty to go around!"

The room was quiet for a few minutes, save for the shuffling of people to serve themselves food. "This is so good Castle," Charlie said, "I haven't had Chinese this good in years!"

"It's a great little place," Castle told her, "Kate and I always order from there when we have Chinese."

"Pass me the chow mein would you, Ryan?" Kate asked politely, hoping against all odds that she would be allowed to get away with Castle's little slip up. Although all he was saying was that on some nights they'd been at the precinct late, they'd ordered food so that they actually ate, she knew the others would look into something that wasn't there.

"Hey Castle," Ryan said, "I'm surprised these two-" he pointed to Charlie and Kate, "haven't tried to trick you into confusing them yet."

Kate, Charlie and Castle shared a look before bursting into laughter. "Yeah..we tried that," Kate said.

"Turns out Castle knows Kate better than I thought..and he didn't believe it for a second."

"It was fun watching them try, though," Castle laughed, "they honestly believed they'd fooled me. Me! The master of jokes!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Don't act like you didn't enjoy every minute of it!" Esposito said, earning another slap from Lanie.

"Well.." Castle grinned.

"Richard Castle I swear to god you better not finish that sentence how I think you're going to finish it," Kate growled under her breath, just loud enough for Castle to hear.

"Oh," he whispered back, "so you don't want me to tell them that although having two of you was practically a dream come true that I'd choose you over anyone else any day because I'm so damn crazy about you?"

_Holy mother of god_. "No, I don't want you to say that!" She hissed and a satisfied smirk appeared on his face at her obvious discomfort. She tried to hide it by putting some more food on her plate and pretending to listen into the conversation that was happening between the others while she ate.

She was pretending though, because she couldn't stop thinking about Richard freaking Castle and his stupid freaking comments. How was it that after almost four years of his near persistent flirting and inappropriate comments that he could make her break now? This was Castle, this was what he did - but then it hit her; before, his flirting had always been 'generic', just the usual comments a red-blooded male would make in those situations, but the comments he was making tonight were directed literally at _her_. He was getting more personal and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep pushing him away, she was quickly running out of excuses.

The rest of the meal passed with no more quiet mutterings from Castle, just playful conversation between friends. The wine was flowing and Kate could tell Jenny and Charlie were becoming a little tipsy - her and Lanie could hold their alcohol a little better but even Kate was starting to feel the effects, her glass had magically been topped up when she wasn't looking more than once.

"Here, let me help," Kate offered as Castle began clearing up their dirty plates and uneaten food. "And don't say I don't have to," she grinned, anticipating what he was about to say, "if we both do it then it'll be done quicker, okay?"

"You're so damn stubborn, woman," he muttered but she could tell he wasn't seriously complaining, he wasn't going to turn down help.

Five minutes later and the leftovers were in the fridge, dirty plates in the dishwasher and everyone's glasses fully topped up. Kate and Rick rejoined the others in the living room, sitting down next to each other on the couch.

"We're about to play truth or dare," Charlie announced, "you two in?"

"Do you know me at all?" Castle asked sarcastically, "of course I'm in!"

"I..uh.." What did she say? She knew it could be fun but she also knew the kind of things Lanie and Charlie would put her up to should they get the chance.. "Oh screw it, fine, I'm in - but play nice!" She added, seeing the grin on her sisters face.

"Great, so who goes first?" Charlie asked and Kate and Castle both said "the youngest" simultaneously. After a quick round of mental maths, they worked out that Jenny was the youngest, and agreed that whoever she asked would go next and so on.

"Okay," Jenny said, "Rick, truth or dare?" Everyone seemed shocked that she chose Rick, expecting her to choose Ryan or Esposito as she knew them best.

"Umm..truth," he decided.

"I was hoping you'd say that! Okay - the real reason you killed off Derrick Storm?"

Castle hadn't been expecting that. "It's honestly nothing you don't already know," he shrugged, "I was bored, writing felt too much like _work_-"

"God forbid you do any real work," Kate muttered.

"Yes, thank you, Detective, I can kill off Nikki Heat just as easily you know.."

"Your funeral," she grinned, knowing full well Gina only forgave him for killing off Storm because of Nikki Heat's success.

"_Anyway_ - I just fancied a change, I'd like to say Kate had a say in it but it wasn't until the book launch that I even met her..let's just call it fate."

Kate rolled her eyes, he knew full well she didn't believe in any of that. "Or bad luck," she supplied helpfully and Castle threw a cushion at her. "Okay, writer-boy, it's your turn."

"Writer _man_, Beckett," he whined. "Okay, Charlie - truth or dare?"

They continued like this for a while, and Kate began to relax when she was given no awkward questions about Castle, just the usual in this game. Pouring herself another glass of wine, it was her turn again, and Jenny's turn to ask again - who by this time was more than a little tipsy, but then again, none of them were sober, looked like Kate and Charlie were getting a cab home. She tried to ignore the excitement at heading back over tomorrow to get her car and possibly seeing Castle again.

"Uh..truth," she decided.

"Okay, has anything ever happened between you and Rick?"

_Shit_. Oh god she had _not_ been expecting that! "I..um.."

"Kate," Charlie said in the worst whisper in the world, "you do realise that by hesitating you're kind of answering?"

_Oh hell_. "Fine," she admitted, glancing at Castle who was remaining silent for the first time in his life. "About a year and a half ago, Espo and Ryan were held by..a guy," she didn't feel like going into details about _who_ it was, "and there was a guard outside who we quite clearly weren't getting past..so um, Castle came up with the plan that I pretend to be drunk."

"I bet he did," Lanie muttered - Kate hadn't even told her about this.

"And it wasn't working, he was onto us and so.."

"I kissed her," Castle said, "just a diversion - it worked didn't it?!"

Espo and Ryan were quiet for a moment - both of them had wondered how Castle and a Beckett had got in, and now they knew. "Right, it's my turn!" Kate said loudly, "Lanie, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Lanie said, "I have had far too much alcohol to be doing any dares!"

"What's really going on with you and Esposito?" She was going to pay for that and she knew it, she had a feeling Lanie would choose her next and she wasn't sure even choosing dare would be an advantage.

"What?" Esposito said, "what are you talking about?"

"You can't still be denying it," Kate laughed, "it's been highly obvious that _something_ is going on!"

"Just a bit of fun," Lanie replied coolly, "isn't that right Javi?"

"Yeah yeah," he grumbled, seemed he really didn't know that everyone else had their suspicions.

"Payback time - Kate, truth or dare?"

Kate thought about it for a moment - she knew whatever she said it would be something to do with Castle, but did she want to speak or do? "Truth."

"Did you ever tell Castle about that summer?"

"No," she said and she felt Castle turn towards her. "I'll um, tell you later," she told him, shooting a smile in his direction before shooting evils at Lanie.

"What summer, Kate?" He asked quietly, the others carrying on without them.

"The uh summer you went to the Hamptons," she admitted in a hushed voice. "With Gina. You asked me and I said no because I was with Demming..but I um, broke it off with him and I was going to tell you yes but then little miss barbie came in and I didn't." _Shit, did she just call Gina-_

"Little miss barbie?" He asked with a grin. "Why Katherine Beckett, were you jealous? Of _Gina_?"

"What? No, don't flatter yourself-"

"Oh I don't think I am," he counteracted, "because from what I can make out you were going to give in. But uh..I am sorry about that," he winced, "it was a little heartless inviting Gina straight after inviting you.."

"It's fine, Castle," she smiled, "I gave you no indication that Tom and I were over so why wouldn't you invite someone else? Maybe it was for the best, anyway."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked but Kate was spared from answering by a squeal from Charlie.

"What?" Kate asked, "what happened?" She looked around the room for a clue but suddenly realised Charlie was looking at her cell.

"It's Ethan," Charlie grinned, "his meetings were cancelled so he flew straight back home - he wants to see me tonight."

"Charlie, it's 10.30. What on earth are you going to do at this time of night?" Kate asked.

"I did offer to tell you how sex worked once, remember?" Castle muttered in her ear.

_Oh_. Well, that explained the look on Charlie's face then. "Well what are you still doing here?" Kate asked.

"Well I planned to spend the night with you guys..I'm not going to leave you just because Ethan's back."

"Why?" Jenny, Kate and Lanie asked together. Well, the three of them had _seen_ Ethan, Charlie was being ridiculous.

"Seriously?" Charlie asked, "you wouldn't mind if I ditched you to go see him?"

"Don't be silly, Charlie, go get your man!" Kate said.

"Beckett's right," Castle said, "I'll ring Eduardo, get him to drive you if you like?"

"Oh no, it's okay, I can get a cab!"

"Nope, it's late and you've been drinking, I'm sure we'd all feel much happier knowing you weren't in the back of a cab alone!" By 'all' he meant Kate, but he knew Charlie would be less likely to agree if he said that.

"Well..if you're sure.."

"Of course I am, just give me a sec.."

"I think we should go too," Ryan said as his wife rested her head on his shoulders, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Eduardo can take you too," Castle said, "it's not far from Ethan's place anyway." He remembered from the other night when him and the boys had been checking him out, the subject of where he lived had come up.

"That'd be great, thanks Castle!"

Lanie, Espo and Kate decided to stay for a while longer, getting themselves more drinks and saying goodbye to the others.

"I want details in the morning," Kate whispered into Charlie's ear as she hugged her.

"What do you take me for?" Charlie asked. "I won't be home until at least early afternoon." She winked before following Jenny and Ryan out of the door.

An hour and at least two more glasses of wine each, Lanie announced that she had to leave, she had plans with a friend in the morning and she didn't want to be late. As predicted, Esposito offered to share a cab with her - despite their apartments being in opposite directions. They asked if Kate wanted to ride with them two but even she could see the relief on their faces when she declined, goodness knows what the two of them were going to get up to in the back of that cab!

After they'd left, Kate began clearing empty glasses from the living room and taking them through to the kitchen.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Castle asked, "leave those, I'll do them in the morning."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Now come sit down, we need to talk about what you were telling me earlier." Kate shot him a puzzled look. "About how maybe it was for the best that you didn't go to the Hamptons with me?"

_Oh, that_. "Um.." _Honesty, Kate._ "Okay well I'm just going to come out and say it, okay?" He nodded. "I think that if I had come to the Hamptons with you then whatever could have happened between us would have just been there and we would have come back to the city and forgotten about it. I know you sort of said the same thing last year about how we kissed but never spoke about it but I don't think I could have spent that long with you and then forgotten all about it when we came home." She blurted all of this out so quickly that Castle struggled to keep up.

"Kate, look at me," he said gently and she raised her head to meet his gaze. "If anything ever happened or happens between us, I can promise you that no matter what, I would never forget it. God, that kiss? Every second of it is still burned onto my brain because for a tiny amount of time, I actually got to pretend that you were mine."

"Castle.." She whispered, unconsciously scooting closer towards him on the couch,many closer and she'd be sat on his lap. "I'm sorry, okay? For everything I've done and not done..said and not said..all of it, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise, Kate. I think we both know I've forgiven you for what you did.."

"You shouldn't have done," she muttered. She didn't deserve his forgiveness.

"Well I did so deal with it," he huffed and she laughed.

_God she was beautiful when she laughed, so damn beautiful_. "Castle," she whispered again, "what are you-"

She was cut off by his lips meeting hers, soft and _oh_ so perfect. His hand came up behind her to tangle in her hair as his tongue swiped across her bottom lip, drawing a gasp from her which he used to gain access to her mouth. His tongue met with hers and she moaned, just as she had done that one other time they'd kissed - except this time there was no guard, just the two of them and an empty apartment.

When he expected her to pull back and slap him, she didn't - she deepened the kiss, rising up onto her knees for better leverage. Her left hand cupped his face while her right ran through his hair, her sinful tongue never ceasing it's exploration of his mouth.

All too soon, he pulled back. "Wow," he whispered against her lips and she grinned, "that was.."

"Amazing?" She said, echoing his words from last time. She was panting slightly, god, she didn't know a kiss could get her this worked up..what was she going to be like when they..no, don't go there, not yet. "But um, I should go..it's getting late.." Both of them could tell she didn't really mean it.

"Stay?" He asked. "No, not like that..not that I'd say no but uh, I have a guest room? You're more than welcome to it, then you can drive home in the...tomorrow." He was going to say in the morning, but he didn't want to push her out if she wanted to stay.

Kate was torn between three choices: one, go home. Nope, not very appealing.. Two, stay in his guest room, knowing full well that the man she loved was sleeping just a staircase away..and three, stay over but in his bed, where they could snuggle and make out. _Damn, that sounded like a good plan.._

"Okay, I'll stay. But on one condition," she said.

"Yes, I'll keep out of your room, I won't offer to help you change or shower," he sighed dramatically, "god you drive a hard bargain woman!"

"Not what I was going to say," she laughed. "Actually..I was um wondering if you'd mind me sleeping in your bed. With you.." She added shyly. She had a sudden urge to want to be close to him. She loved him and he loved her so why couldn't they just cuddle in bed?

"Katherine Beckett are you asking if you can sleep with me?" He asked, pretending to be offended.

"Not like that," she said poking him in the ribs. "But um..yeah, I wanna cuddle and...stuff..but you keep your hands where I can see them! Deal?"

Castle was about to throw her over his shoulder and carry her into the bedroom but something stopped him. Their conversation about 'pretending things didn't happen' was still playing on his mind. "Kate..I would love nothing more to 'cuddle and stuff' with you, but I'm not going to be able to pretend this didn't happen. I don't know if this is the wine talking or not..but if we do this then we don't act like it didn't."

"It could be the wine talking but not in the way you think. Really it's just giving me the courage to say what I want..and I know, I don't think even I could act like it never happened..not now."_ Not after all we've been through, _she added silently.

"Well in that case, why are we still out here? I have the comfiest bed known to mankind waiting for us!" He said as he stood up, "come on, let's get you sorted, I'm sure I've got a shirt you can borrow."

She smiled as she followed him into the bedroom. She knew what this meant for them and their relationship and all she could really think was..well, about time.

* * *

**A/N: I hope this chapter is okay, I know the truth or dare thing with this group has been done which is why it's only a little bit in this chapter. Also, I'm hoping Kate isn't too OOC - would S4 Beckett be like this? But then again, she did turn up at his apartment and practically jump him so maybe it isn't too out of character to want be close to him!**

**PS: no, they aren't 'together' yet and and yes, the Castle reveal will be coming before they're actually a couple!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: sorry for the slow update, I was a bit stuck as to what to write and I didn't want to end up with a rubbish chapter so I started a new fic instead, (_Soulmates_, check it out if you like ;)) but now I have this chapter planned out!**

* * *

She couldn't keep the grin off of her face as she stumbled out of the elevator and down the hall to the apartment. Pulling out her key, she twisted it into the lock and opened the door, still smiling like a Cheshire Cat.

"Kaaaattteeeee?" She called out as she walked in to see no sign of her sister, "where are you?" She checked the kitchen and the living room - no Kate and no note. Frowning, she pulled out her cell, checking she hadn't missed a text message or something - it wasn't like Kate to not at least say she'd been called into work or was doing the food shopping or something.

She wandered to the bedroom - not that she was expecting to find Kate in there, it was gone 10.30 and her sister hadn't stayed in bed that late since..well, ever. Opening the door to Kate's bedroom, realisation finally hit. Kate had changed her sheets yesterday - and the old ones were still dumped at the end of the bed, ready to be washed. Kate Beckett hadn't come home last night - Charlie's grin returned, it was about time, really.

* * *

Rolling over in bed, Castle groaned when he realised the other half was occupied. Who was in his bed? Oh god, he didn't bring a bimbo home did he? Alexis would kill him! But no, hang on a minute..last night he hadn't gone out, he'd stayed in and had friends over..so why wasn't he alone in his bed? Chancing another look at the mystery occupant, he saw she was still sleeping - that was good, gave him time to figure this out. She had her back to him, so he couldn't make out her face, but that hair looked familiar..inching his way a little closer, he inhaled deeply - cherries. Wait, _cherries_? Was he sharing his bed with _Beckett_?

And then the memories if the previous night came flooding back..he'd kissed her and they'd talked a bit..then he asked her to stay and she did - in his bed! He thought it had all been a dream..

Relieved that she had stayed asleep for his deductions, he smiled lazily and stared at her for a few minutes, rising up so he could see her face. _She really was beautiful._ She looked adorable when she slept, hair all ruffled and not a care in the world..he couldn't help but think how he absolutely had to tell her what he knew about her mothers case before they got into this too far, he needed to keep enough of a distance for her to be able to forgive him eventually..

"Staring's creepy, Castle," she mumbled, opening one eye to glare at him and he chuckled.

But surely another hour or two wouldn't hurt.. "I'm sorry," he said, "it's just..you're here..in my bed!"

"Jeez, if you're this excited about waking up next to me then what are you going to be like when we-" she broke off, as if suddenly realising what she was about to say and his grin confirmed that he could tell too.

"When we _what,_ Beckett?"

"Nothing," she grumbled, cheeks flaming.

"I wouldn't worry about it," he told her, "now that you've pretty much insinuated it's a sure thing, I can keep my excitement in check."

"What time is it anyway?" She asked, rolling over to lie on her back.

"9.30."

"What?" She squealed, "I haven't stayed in bed after 8am in years!"

"Well you don't have anywhere to be, do you?" He asked, sincerely hoping she said no.

"No," she conceded, "but-"

"Ah, no buts - come on, I'll make you breakfast."

"Mmm, I'm comfy here.."

"Oh, so you don't want any of my famous chocolate chip pancakes then?" He teased.

"Alright alright, you had me at pancakes," she said and he laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing, just pancakes for breakfast? According to Esposito that's an edible way of saying thank you so much for last night."

"Castle, we didn't even..you know.."

He laughed again, she really was adorable. "'You know'?" He parroted, "who would have thought, homicide detective Kate Beckett gets flustered at the word sex.." He mused.

"It wasn't at the word," she denied hotly, "just at the..you know, connotation of saying thank you for last night.."

"Oh, so it's the thought of sex with me that gets you all flustered is it?" He teased, a grin on his face as he climbed out of bed. "I'll remember that - feel free to use the bathroom, I'll be in the kitchen," he said quickly before she could retaliate, slipping out of the door and out of sight.

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes as she sat up in bed. He really was incorrigible...but she loved him anyway. He'd been true to his word last night - he hadn't tried anything other than a few heated make out sessions and some good old fashioned snuggling.

She stumbled to the bathroom to use the toilet and splash some water on her face - spotting the new toothbrush she'd used last night on the counter too. She ran it over her teeth quickly before heading out to meet him in the kitchen.

"These smell amazing," she complimented, "what's your secret?"

"I could tell you," he said, "but then I'd have to kill you.."

He was such a child sometimes. "Okay okay, you're not telling me your recipe, I get it." She sat herself at a stool and he pouted. "What?"

"I didn't get a good morning kiss," he said.

Yep, a complete child. "Oh no, we can't have that now, can we?" She said, playing along as she stood back up again. Walking over to him, she stood up on tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Good morning, Castle," she whispered before pressing her lips to his.

He deepened the kiss quickly, slipping his tongue past her lips and she moaned at the contact, hands gripping his hair. He slid both hands to her waist, backing her towards the counter and hoisting her up on it, her legs gripped tightly either side of his hips, pulling him closer. She nibbled on his bottom lip and _oh god_ she was going to kill him..but what a way to go. Bringing a hand down, he slowly trailed a path up her thigh, inching past the hem of his t-shirt she was wearing and she gasped when his fingers traced the lacy edge of her panties.

Gripping her legs around him tighter, she scooted forward so that her chest was plastered against his. Ripping her lips from his, she moved her mouth to his neck, sucking and biting her way down as his fingers continued their exploration under her shirt. _Shit_ that felt good..way too good, much longer and she wouldn't be able to stop him..

"Castle," she gasped, panting slightly, "we need to stop."

He stilled, resting his head on her shoulder, "sorry..got a little carried away.." He mumbled.

Wait, did he think she wanted him to stop because-? "Oh no, it's not that I don't want that..it's just uh, we're in your kitchen where your mother or daughter could walk in at any minute.."

"Good point," he chuckled, "and oh god, the pancakes are burning.." He rushed away from her to tend to the pancakes and she hopped down, straightening her shirt. "But uh, good morning detective," he grinned.

Castle stacked the freshly made pancakes onto a plate and put it on the counter in front of Beckett. Grabbing plates and cutlery for them both, he sat down next to her, gratefully accepting the coffee she passed him.

"These pancakes are amazing Castle," she mumbled around a mouthful, "I think I might drop by for breakfast everyday if this is what you make!"

"You're more than welcome, Beckett," he chuckled, "and uh, if that's the kind of good morning I get then I'll make you these for breakfast, lunch and dinner!"

They finished of their breakfast in companionable silence, stealing secret glances at one another every so often. When she couldn't eat anymore, Beckett pushed her plate away and Castle followed, both of them sipping their coffee.

"So uh, I guess we need to talk.." She began shyly, looking at him from under her lashes.

"Yeah, we probably do," he agreed, neither of them seeming to know what to say.

"Where does this leave us?" She asked.

She was asking him? Surely she knew he'd drop everything for her? "I uh..well where do you want it to leave us?"

"I.." She stopped, thinking about it for a moment. She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts - she knew exactly what she wanted - him. But was it that simple? She was still a bit of mess and she just wanted to be the best possible person she could for him, it was no less than what he deserved. "I want you," she admitted, "so badly it hurts. I'm crazy about you Castle, I have been for a long time now.."

Castle was speechless. If he was honest, he was half expecting her to say that last night had been a mistake - what she had said was the furthest possible option in his mind.

Seeing he wasn't going to say anything, she continued. "And I know I've screwed up, but I think we're finally getting past that."

_Well yeah, until you know how I've screwed up too_, he said silently, unsure of how to approach the subject. "I love you, Kate. Always have, always will." He took a deep breath - it was now or never. "But you're not the only one who screwed up. There's uh, something I need to tell-"

"Morning, Dad!"_ Shit, not now, Alexis!_ "And uh, Detective Be- ah, Kate?"

"Morning Alexis," Kate mumbled. Being discovered in Castle's clothes by his daughter had not been part of the plan.

"You're home early, pumpkin," Castle said.

"Yeah, Paige has lunch plans with her grandparents so I thought I'd come home and annoy you! Wanna watch all the Harry Potter movies?" She asked.

Dammit. Why couldn't he have told her just two minutes earlier? He couldn't exactly bring it up now, not while Alexis was here, that wasn't fair on any of them. He was however, grateful that Alexis didn't seem to be planning on bringing up the fact that Kate was here for breakfast in just his shirt.

"Sounds good, Pumpkin," he smiled, "let me just clear up this breakfast stuff and then I'm all yours."

"Great!" She replied, "I'll just take my stuff upstairs - oh, and you're welcome to join us, Detective Beckett."

"I'm sorry about that," Castle muttered once Alexis had disappeared up the stairs. "Bad timing, that kid."

"It's fine, Castle, she wasn't to know. And besides, this is her house, she shouldn't be made to leave just because I'm here."

"You're amazing, you know that?" He smiled, "so uh, you wanna stay? Watch Harry Potter?"

"You know what? I actually think I might."

"Really?" He hadn't been expecting her to say yes.

"Yeah, really," she smiled, "I don't have plans and it's been ages since I've seen them..so if it's okay with you, then I'll stay."

"Of course it's okay with me."

"Great, so that's settled then. Oh, what were you about to tell me when Alexis walked in?"

"Oh nothing," he lied, "it can wait." He was so going to hell for this. But how could he tell her now, when his daughter was on her way back downstairs? She needed to know, he knew that, but he was coward and he loved her, so intentionally telling her something that she was bound to hate him for would rip him apart - precisely the reason he hadn't already told her.

_Tonight_, he promised himself,_ I'll tell her tonight_. Alexis and his mother were going for dinner and a showing of The Sound of Music this evening, so he knew they'd have the place to themselves. Well, he was counting on being alone once he told her what he knew, but he couldn't drag it out much longer, she was going to kill him anyway.

* * *

**A/N: thoughts? The reveal is in the next chapter, I promise.**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: here it is, the one you've all been waiting for..**

**Disclaimer: might have borrowed a couple of lines from Always here, obviously none of them are mine.**

* * *

He'd put it off as much as he could and he knew it. He knew full well the implications of what he needed to tell Beckett and so he'd acted like a coward and not told her, thus making any possible chance of her forgiving him even less likely. Alexis had left to meet his mother an hour ago, and he and Beckett were alone in the loft, eating the pasta carbonara he'd made them.

"I had a really great day today, Castle," she smiled in between mouthfuls, "thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled back. "You're always welcome here, you know that." Deciding he'd put it off long enough, he took a deep breath and started talking. "But uh, I was going to tell you something earlier, before Alexis got home.." She nodded, remembering him saying it could wait. "Thing is..I really can't put this off any longer."

She waited for a minute but he didn't say anything else. "What is it Castle? You're scaring me.."

"It's about your mother.."

* * *

**Earlier that morning**.

While Alexis was upstairs and Castle cleared away their breakfast things - refusing any help from her - she text Charlie, letting her know what she was up to today.

'_Spending the day with Castle and Alexis,'_ she typed, '_h__ope you had a good night and I'll see you later, Kate xx'_. If she was honest, she wasn't really expecting a reply - Charlie had said not to expect her home until at least early afternoon, but her phone beeped anyway.

'_Just got back to your place - to see you didn't sleep in your bed last night! I want details when you get home, missy - all of them! Have a good day and I'll see you later xx'._ Kate grinned at the message, she should have known Charlie would figure out she hadn't stayed at home, that girl should be a detective.

Castle joined Kate in the living room, passing her another mug of coffee just as Alexis came bounding back down the stairs, a pair of leggings in her hand which she passed to Kate.

"Uh, thanks?" Kate said, looking from one Castle to the other. Rick shot her a 'don't ask me' glance and looked to his daughter for an explanation.

"I just think we'll all be more uh, _comfortable_ if Detective Beckett isn't at here in just your t-shirt, dad," she muttered. "We're probably around the same size so.."

Kate blushed slightly, she hadn't thought of how Alexis would feel to get home and find her dad eating breakfast with his (non-romantic) partner - who was just wearing a t-shirt and her underwear. The shirt fell to mid-thigh but she could see Alexis' point - who wanted to see their father all lovey-dovey with his new girlfriend? Wait, _girlfriend_? Slow down, Kate.

"Crap, sorry Alexis," she began, "I didn't think-"

"Oh no, you don't have to apologise for _that_," Alexis told her quickly, grasping onto what Kate meant, "I mean, I'm happy for you both and everything but uh..yeah.." She trailed off.

"You don't need a reminder.." Kate smiled.

"No," Alexis said, relieved that Kate understood. "But I meant what I said, I am happy for you both."

"Oh we're uh..not actually um.."

"Thank you, pumpkin," Castle interrupted, he really didn't need Kate giving his daughter _all_ the details.

"So um, are we watching them from the beginning?" Kate asked and Castle looked at her in horror. "What? What did I say?" She looked to Alexis for help.

"Dad always says that when you're watching a marathon of movies or a tv show, you _have_ to start at the beginning. I don't know, some weird writer story type thing," she said rolling her eyes.

"Hey," Castle said, "I saw that! God, I think you've been spending too much time with Beckett if you're rolling your eyes at me! But yes, we are watching them from the beginning," he explained, "can't start a story in the middle!"

"But uh..they're all different stories," Beckett argued, "you know, each school year brings something new and a new movie. Well book, but you know what I mean." Castle glared at her. "Okay, so I'm going to go and get changed and you put the first movie on, 'kay?" She asked, hurrying away from him with a laugh. He really was adorable.

"So, we ready to start then?" Kate asked, coming back into the room - fully dressed this time.

"Yep, just waiting for you," Castle told her. "Come sit down," he said, patting the empty seat next to him.

Kate's eyes widened - it was one thing spending the night in his arms but curling up next to him when his daughter was there? That was a whole new kettle of fish. Alexis, though, worked it out for herself.

"You can sit next to him, but I want at least two inches between you the whole time and keep your hands where I can see them," she sighed dramatically, effectively breaking the tension.

"You've been spending way too much time with your grandmother," Castle grumbled as Kate sat down next to him. "So dramatic!"

"Oh Castle," Kate laughed, "I think at least half of her flair for the dramatic comes from you," she teased.

"Oh I see how it is," Castle replied, "well then you don't get to share my blanket," he huffed, yanking it off of her lap.

"Shall we put the movie on?" Alexis interrupted and they both looked at her, seeming to have forgotten she was there.

"Yes yes, okay child, let's put it on!" Castle pressed play and the three of them made themselves comfortable.

By the time they'd started the Chamber of Secrets, Kate and Rick had shuffled closer together, their thighs pressed up against each other. By the Prisoner of Azkaban, their hands were entwined under the blanket that Castle had allowed her to share again. Alexis had got up and got them snacks throughout the movies, but by the time they'd finished the third, Alexis had to go and get ready for her night with Martha.

"Can we do it again next week?" Alexis asked, "watch the rest of them?"

"Of course, Pumpkin," Castle smiled at her.

"I was kinda talking to Kate.." Alexis teased.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Kate laughed.

And so with the promise that they could carry on next weekend, Alexis left to get ready and meet her grandmother, leaving Castle and Beckett alone.

* * *

**That evening**.

"What _about_ my mother, Castle?" She said and he flinched at the harshness in her voice.

It was time to come clean, she might hate him for it, never speak to him again, but he couldn't hide it any longer, it wasn't fair. "Well more about your mothers case, than your actual mother," she narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay, so you know all about how Montgomery was involved and what he did-"

"Castle, I have forgiven Montgomery for what he did. He gave his life for me and that was more than he should have done. I don't care what he did, he changed and now thanks to me his two daughters have to grow up without their father. And I know what it's like to have a parent ripped away from you, Castle, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

"Please, just listen to me?" He pleaded and she nodded slowly. "Thank you. Yes, Montgomery gave his life for you, but that's not all he did. He knew who was behind it all, the man who sent Coonan after your mother-"

She gasped, interrupting him again. "Castle I swear to god if you tell me you know who's behind this-"

"Kate," he said sternly and she recoiled slightly, not used to this side of him. "I promise you, I don't know who's behind it. I know what you know - he's powerful and we'll never touch him. But Montgomery had evidence that incriminated whoever it is and when he knew Lockwood was after him, he sent copies of that evidence to a friend, someone he trusted." He paused but Kate didn't interrupt this time. "But this evidence, it didn't arrive until you'd been shot..so Montgomery's friend made a deal - they backed off and this evidence stayed a secret. But there was one condition to that - you had to stop looking for them, you had to drop the case. And that's why, Kate, that's why you aren't buried 6 feet under, it's why you're still alive."

"How..how do you know all of this?" She whispered.

"Who do you think was stopping you looking into it?" He asked. "I was just trying to keep you safe.."

"Castle, you lied to me about the most import- about one of the most important things in my life," she said amending her original comment - he was probably the most important thing in her life right now, she knew that.

"Because I care about you, Kate! Because seeing you lying on that cemetery ground, bleeding out..it damn near killed me and I'm sorry, but I can't stick around to see that happen again."

It took everything in her to not run away, screaming that she never wanted to see him again. "Nearly a year, Castle," she said, "it's been nearly a year since I was shot and every day since then I have prayed for something to come up, something that would give me an indication as to who was behind this and the whole time you've been sitting on that lead?"

"It was the only way I could stop you going after him!" Castle protested.

"So, who is he? This friend of Montgomery's? How do I find him?"

"You don't" Castle said, "he's..a voice on the end of the phone..a shadowy figure in a parking garage.."

"You've met with him? And you didn't tell me? You've met with him and made some sort of a deal for my life like I'm a child? How could you do that?"

"I've already told you, Kate - it's because I care about you. I'm in love with you, you know that, and what would you have done if I had told you, hey?"

"I.." She paused, she knew exactly what she was getting at and he had a point. If he had told her, she would have run straight at him - just like Montgomery said she would. "You know what I would have done but that doesn't excuse what you did, Castle. You lied to me and let me believe we had nothing, when all along you had the biggest lead we've had since Coonan died!"

"Yes, I lied to you. Just like you lied to me. Not nice, is it?"

"Seriously? You're bringing that up _now_?"

"Yes, because what you did hurt me and I know I should have done this a long time ago but I was trying to protect-"

"I don't _need_ protecting, Castle! Look at where we are - Coonan is gone and Lockwood is gone, I'm ready Castle, for whoever it is they send next, I'm ready."

"Ready for what? To die? Because I'm having a hard time believing that your mom-"

"Don't you dare tell me what my mom would or wouldn't have wanted," she growled, "you didn't know her!"

"No, you're right, I didn't. But I know you, Kate, and this isn't right. And that's why I didn't tell you, because there's nothing you could have done - you pursue this and you're dead, is that what you want?"

Was he stupid? "Of course that's not what I want, Castle, what I want is to get justice for my mother and you're standing in the way of that!" Her resolve was slipping and they could both tell. The tone of her voice suggested she was arguing for the sake of arguing.

"Kate, you have to understand why I did this!"

She wanted to shout at him, tell him she hated him and that he was wrong but deep down, she knew he was right. He shouldn't have kept it from her but she could understand why he had. "I do," she whispered and he let out a sigh of relief. "You shouldn't have kept it from me but..you're right, I would have gone straight after them and maybe I would have got them but maybe they would have killed me."

Castle stood up and gathered her in his arms. "I'm sorry Kate, I'm so so sorry," he whispered.

"I know you are. Just..give me some time, okay?"

Time, he could do time. Except.. "Kate, the last time you said that you disappeared for three months.."

"Hey," she said, pulling back, "look at me." He shifted his head until his eyes met hers. "I'm not running, okay? I just..need a day or two to think it over."

"Promise?"

"I promise," she replied, pressing her lips to his. She pulled away and he half smiled at her. "See you on Monday?" She asked.

"See you Monday," he replied.

* * *

**A/N: couldn't quite bring myself to have KB kick off as much as she did on the show, hope it wasn't too 'why doesn't she care' though! Let me know what you thought :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: oh god, did we all survive Veritas? I watched it twice just this morning, cried like a baby - new favourite episode! SO glad you all seemed to like the way Kate handled things! Now for a little sisterly chat..**

* * *

Despite what Castle had just admitted to her, Kate still had a hint of a smile on her lips as she walked back into her apartment. Glancing around, she saw Charlie on the couch, a huge grin on her face as she talked on the phone - three guesses who she was talking to. Charlie heard Kate close the front door behind her and said her goodbyes, seemingly desperate to talk to Kate.

"Hey! You've been gone all day!"

"I know," Kate smiled, she really had had a great day with Castle and Alexis. "Was that Ethan on the phone?"

"Yessss," Charlie replied, a huge grin still on her face, obviously bursting to tell Kate the details. Kate sat down next to her, still in Castle's shirt and Alexis' leggings.

"Okay, spill," Kate said, putting Charlie out of her misery.

Charlie was about to tell everything when she actually took note of Kate and the look on her face. "Hey, you okay?" She asked, "and why are you wearing Castle's clothes? Oh my god, did you-"

"Woah woah woah, slow down cowboy. No, we didn't..you know," she was doing it again, avoiding the word sex. _Dammit_, Castle was right. "We didn't sleep together. Well, we _slept_ together but we didn't _sleep_ together."

"Kate, I have no idea which way round that's meant to be.."

"We didn't have sex, okay?" Kate admitted.

"Okay, so now that _thats_ clear," Charlie said, adding the typical Beckett eye roll. "What's got you looking like someone stole your last Oreo? Was it because you wanted to have se-"

"Charlotte," Kate warned, "shut up. My mood has nothing to do with sex, or lack thereof with Castle, okay?"

Charlie teased and joked but she knew when to stop. "Okay, sorry. So what's up?"

"He uh..admitted he hadn't been completely honest with me.."

"Okay.." Charlie said, waiting for Beckett into expand.

"He um, he's been keeping some sort of deal..with a friend of Montgomery's - you know my old Captain?" Charlie nodded. "He said that he'd been stopping me from looking into moms case because there's a file that will implicate whoever's behind this and basically if this file stays hidden then I stay safe. Apparently the deal was made after I was shot..and Castle has kept it a secret all this time."

"Sounds like he was just trying to protect you.." Charlie said. To her, it didn't sound overly wrong, she knew how Castle felt about her sister and it only seemed right that he'd want to try and protect her. But she also knew Kate, knew how she'd feel about it.

"Yeah, he was. But I don't _need_ protecting, Charlie, I'm not a child."

"I know you're not and he knows you're not," she explained patiently, "but he loves you."

"I know he does..but I just wish he'd told me.."

"Just like you should have told him about me and about remembering your shooting?"

"Who's side are you on?" Kate exclaimed. She knew Charlie was right but she just needed a bit of TLC right now.

"I'm not on anybody's side, Kate," Charlie said, "you've made mistakes and from the sounds of things so has he, but at least you're both trying to work through them."

"Well he should have told me before I jumped into bed with him!" Kate shouted and she suddenly realised what her problem was - it wasn't that he hadn't told her because once he had explained she knew he was right, but it was that he had kept it from her when they'd made a huge leap in their previously platonic relationship.

"I thought you said you didn't-"

"No, we didn't," Kate sighed, "but I spent the night in bed with him and we er, kissed and cuddled," she blushed and Charlie laughed.

"Jeez Kate, you're not 15, nothing to be embarrassed about! And we've gone into a hell of a lot more detail before.."

"I know but this is _Castle_, he's my best friend and I guess I'm just feeling a bit weird about what's going on right now."

"Which is?"

"I don't know," Kate whined. "We were sort of talking about it when he brought up his secret.."

"And you ran?"

"No!" Kate replied quickly, "I mean yeah, I left, but I said I understood why he'd done it and that I'd see him Monday, I just need a day or two to let it sink in. But why didn't he tell me _before_ we made that step?"

"Oh I don't know, Kate," Charlie replied sarcastically, "maybe because the woman of his dreams is finally opening up and letting him in that his secret suddenly seemed a hell of a lot less significant."

"Oh shut up," Kate grumbled. "Ugh you're probably right and I know he only did it because he cares about me..and I'm going to try my best to move past it so we can actually get around to-"

"The sex," Charlie grinned.

"Okay, that's like the fourth time you've mentioned it since I got home, so come on, I'm going to get us a glass of wine and then I want to know all about your night with Ethan!"

* * *

Kate woke early on Sunday morning, the sunlight streaming in through the windows. She'd slept well, staying up another hour or so with Charlie as she gave very _explicit_ details of her night with Ethan, seriously, Kate had done her fair share of experimenting but some of the things Charlie had got up to had made her blush.

After a good nights sleep, Kate could see things more clearly. Castle had been right to keep it from her for some reasons, she would have run straight at them and probably got herself killed. She didn't need protecting but she knew Castle, he was a big softy at heart and he wouldn't give up the opportunity to look out for her. Rolling over she grinned into her pillow. She was a pile of mush, a big lovesick fool and it was all because of the stupid writer that had wormed his way into her life.

She practically jumped out of bed and into the shower, emerging half an hour later. Bounding into the kitchen, Charlie shot her a filthy look over her coffee.

"Why, may I ask, are you dancing around like a four year old on christmas morning?"

"It's a good day," Kate shrugged.

"Is it?" Charlie grumbled, going back to her coffee.

"'Course it is, it's sunny, it's still the weekend, I'm not on call and I'm in love!"

"Okay, so who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

"Oh haha very funny," Kate said, rolling her eyes and pouring herself some coffee.

"I just kinda realised it when I woke up..yeah he messed up and I know I did too. But I don't care what he did, it's not important anymore, he forgave me so I can forgive him, he knew what he should have done and I do too so what's there to be miserable about?"

Despite her mood and the early hour, Charlie couldn't help but grin at her sisters enthusiasm, she'd never seen her like this. "So, you gonna go see him today?"

"I..um no?" Kate said, "I mean, I said I'd see him tomorrow so I guess I can wait." Even as she said it she knew she didn't want to wait.

"Call him, Kate," Charlie laughed, "go out for coffee or lunch or something."

Kate thought about it for all of half a minute before grabbing her phone and calling him.

"Beckett?" He answered groggily. Crap, he was still in bed. "We got a body?"

"Uh no.." She said. "God, I'm sorry Castle, I've been up like an hour, I didn't think about the fact that you might still be in bed.."

"Don't worry 'bout it," he said, "'m up now. What's up?"

"I was um.,wondering if you wanted to meet for breakfast today? Or lunch..or..you know, what I'm sure you have plans, don't-"

"Hey hey, I don't have plans! Breakfast sounds good, I can meet you in a hour?"

"Great!" Kate grinned as they arranged where to meet.

"See," Charlie said as Kate put the phone down, "told you."

"Yes yes, you were right and you're the best sister ever and I love you."

"God, you're gonna have to fall in love more often if this is what you're like!"

"Nope, I'm done now, he's stuck with me forever!" She called out, bounding back into her bedroom to do something with her hair.

Castle was still dazed and sleepy as he put his cell back down on the bedside table. Did that really just happen? He grinned, yes, yes it did. He hadn't been expecting to hear from Kate today, he was just hoping to turn up at the precinct in the morning and that she would be okay with him..he never in a million years would have thought she'd call and arrange a breakfast date. Holy crap he was going on a date with Kate Beckett!

Realising he only had an hour, he hopped out of bed and got himself in the shower, before pulling out jeans and a clean shirt to wear. Heading out into the kitchen, he saw Alexis was up already, studying in the kitchen.

"Morning Pumpkin, you're up and working hard early for a Sunday!" He said, kissing her forehead.

"Exams are nearly here dad, gotta make sure I pass! Why are you in such a good mood anyway?"

"Because I, my dear daughter, am going on a date with Beckett this morning!"

"Oh," Alexis said, frowning. "But after yesterday..I thought.."

"She stayed over Friday night and we talked. And then you got home and she stayed..and then we talked again last night, I uh, had some things I had to admit.."

"Dad," Alexis whined. What, his kid didn't _whine_? "I _like_ Kate.."

"I know you do, Pumpkin, and I do too. A hell of a lot. But both of us have made mistakes but now we're working through them."

"Good..just don't screw it up, okay?"

"I won't, Pumpkin, not with her," he smiled. He was glad Alexis liked Kate, made everything so much easier.

"'Kay, now go, I'm supposed to be studying!"

"You sure you're mine?" Castle muttered as he got his cell and wallet. "I'll see you later, you wanna do something this afternoon?"

"Is that your way of asking if you can spend the day with her?" Alexis asked, onto him in an instant.

"Uh..yeah?" Castle replied sheepishly.

"Go be with her," Alexis grinned, "but bring her back here if you feel like it, I won't mind."

"Bye, Pumpkin," Castle chuckled as he left to meet Kate. He couldn't remember being this happy, not since the day Alexis was born - and they weren't even together yet.

* * *

**A/N: quick question: how many of you are against this going M? I'm happy to keep it T rated and do separate album versions if that's what people want? If it does go M, it will only be a part of a chapter, and not every chapter..just to keep it realistic :) let me know!**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: woah, like four days with no update - it's been a hectic week! But I'm back now - thank you for your response to whether it should go M or not, only one person said no, so if/when it does get to that, I'm just going to make it really obvious where the M parts are so you can skip it if you wish :) anyway - they're off to breakfast now, I should manage to keep that clean ;)**

* * *

The diner they'd chosen to meet at was fairly busy when Kate arrived, but she found a free table and sat down, waiting for Castle. Her earlier excitement had dissipated a little, and she was feeling a lot more nervous right now - if this breakfast went how she was expecting it to, her and Castle were literally on the verge of a full blown relationship. Now that was a scary thought.

It wasn't that she didn't _want_ a relationship with him, oh no, she could finally admit to herself that that's what she'd wanted for a long time now, but she was scared. She was an expert in screwing things up and that wasn't really too much of a problem before - she'd never really cared enough to be bothered about it working out or not, but now..well now she was desperate not to ruin everything. She was so ridiculously in love with him that she knew it would break her heart if everything went wrong..and that's why she was scared, she didn't really know how to _do_ this whole serious relationship thing, not properly - she could hardly count her relationship with Josh. That had been sort of serious - by her standards, anyway - but he was never really around long enough for them to actually talk about taking it any further..but she knew full well that Richard Castle was here and he'd be here to stay.

When Castle walked in, it took him a moment to find Beckett, the majority of the booths and tables were in use, but he spotted her sat at a table in the far corner, seemingly deep in thought. He frowned a little - on the phone she had sounded happy and had invited him out to breakfast..but from the look on her face this wasn't going to be what he wanted to hear.

Taking a deep breath, he headed over to her table. "This seat taken?" He asked, attempting some humour.

He needn't have been worried - her face lit up like Christmas tree in Times Square when the saw him - whatever she had been thinking about quite possibly wasn't about him. "I don't know," she shrugged, playing along with his game. "I was waiting for my partner.."

"Well," Castle replied, looking around. "He doesn't seem to be here." He took the seat opposite her and she smiled. "What's he like anyway, this partner of yours?"

"Annoying, irritating, disobedient, a smartass, a complete child half the time.."

He would have been offended but the twinkle in her eye let him know she was joking. Sort of. He knew she felt like that about him some of the time but he'd still managed to worm his way into her life. "God he sounds terrible!" Castle laughed, "how on earth do you put up with him?"

"Ah he's not so bad," Kate grinned. "He's one of the kindest, sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met."

_Jesus Christ he loved her._ "I..um-"

"Out of words, writer boy?" She teased. "Hey, Castle," she said softly, still smiling at him.

"Morning, Beckett," he smiled back. They were lost in their own little world for a moment, staring into each other's eyes, both of them content to just sit there.

"Morning folks." They were interrupted by a waitress coming over to see to them. "Can I get you some drinks?"

"Uh yeah..coffee for me, please," Kate smiled.

"Same," Castle told her.

"Great, I'll get it brought over for you."

They both muttered their thanks as the waitress hurried away.

"So," Castle said, "to what do I owe the pleasure of breakfast with a beautiful woman?"

She rolled her eyes at his compliment but her insides burst to life, little butterflies floating through her stomach. "Thought it'd be nice.." She said.

"You sounded so..happy when you called me this morning.."

"Yeah, sorry about that! I was up early and I completely didn't think about you still being in bed.."

"Don't worry about it," he said with a wave of his hand, "I was up a bit later than normal writing but I'd been in bed long enough. So - no reason for this breakfast? Because after yesterday..I was just hoping you didn't kick me out of the precinct and now you're seeing me when you hadn't planned on it.."

Kate had been expecting this, Castle was never one to just accept things - he had to know the story behind it all. "I just figured we'd wasted enough time dancing around this," she shrugged. "It's not worth it anymore, putting it off and avoiding the subject..we both know there's something here and why wait?"

Castle thought he might explode, all of his dreams were coming true. "And..what I did? Not telling you about your moms case and stuff.."

"I'm not going to sit here and say it's fine because it's not. I'm still angry that you didn't tell me but I know you could say the same about what I hid from you. We've both made mistakes but I think as long as we're both open and honest, we could make this work." Did she really just say that? "Uh..if you want to, that is," she added. She knew how she felt and she knew he'd said how he felt but she wanted to make sure they were on the same page.

"Oh god of course that's what I want!" He told her, grinning from ear to ear. "That's all I've ever wanted and now..seriously? You want us to give this a go?"

She could help but laugh at the excitement in his voice. "Yes Castle, I want us to give this a go. It's going to take some work but I'm willing to try if you are?"

"Oh completely. One hundred percent, I'm in!"

The waitress came back with their coffee, apologising for the wait. They told her it was fine, they could see how busy it was and ordered pancakes whenever she was ready. The waitress shot them a grateful smile and disappeared to put their order into the kitchen.

"So um..does this mean you're my girlfriend?" Castle asked.

She hadn't really thought about that..she wasn't really one to put labels on relationships but she knew it meant a lot to Castle - he was sort of old fashioned like that. "Yes Castle, if that's what you want to call it then I guess I am," she smiled.

"Wait, if that's what _I_ want to call it? So you don't?" He looked worried and Beckett reached across the table to grasp his hand.

"Hey," she said, "I hadn't thought about what it made us but it sort of makes sense. I mean..you could call it dating but then to me that sort of insinuates that it's not serious and there might be other people you're 'dating' and that's - wait, you're not seeing anyone else, are you?"

"No of course I'm not!" He laughed, how could she seriously think he was dating someone else? "If I'm not with you I'm with Alexis - who else would I be dating?"

Okay, now she felt like an idiot. "I don't know, that woman who works in the coffee shop near the precinct always flirts with you," she grumbled and realised a little too late that she sounded jealous.

"Katherine Beckett are you jealous?" He smirked and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"No.." She lied, "I was just making sure. So um, yeah, if we aren't dating I guess you're my..boyfriend?"

"Sounds good, doesn't it," he grinned and she couldn't help but agree.

"Yeah, Castle, it sounds really good."

Their food arrived and they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as they began to eat. "Um, Castle?" Kate began tentatively.

"Um, Kate?" He replied and she rolled her eyes at him.

"I was just wondering..would you mind if we sort of kept this a secret?"

"By this I'm assuming you mean us?" He asked and she nodded.

"I just..this is all new, to both of us and I know everyone at work would be happy for us..well, maybe not Gates but the boys would be but do you think we could just keep it between us, just for a few weeks?"

"Of course we can," he smiled. "Though uh, I think I might need to tell Alexis.."

"Oh god of course you will!" She said, "I never meant you couldn't tell her! In fact, I think I might have to tell Charlie too!"

"Okay..and then we just tell the others when we're ready?"

"Yeah..I just want you all to myself for a bit."

Well, how could he say no to that?

* * *

Monday rolled around far too quickly for Kate's liking. She'd had such a good weekend - the night at Castles on Friday, spending the day with him and Alexis on Saturday and then officially confirming their relationship over really good pancakes on Sunday..she almost didn't want to go to work, especially when she knew her and Castle would have to act like nothing had changed.

After their breakfast the day before, the two of them had walked hand in hand back to Kate's apartment to see Charlie - who practically squealed at seeing them together. When they announced they were actually together now Kate could almost see Charlie planning the wedding. They sat around and had coffee, telling Charlie that they were keeping it a secret for now, just her and Alexis would know, before Castle left them to it to go and spend some time with his daughter and let her in on the new developments. Charlie hadn't even made a noise of disgust when Castle kissed Kate goodbye - and she had plenty of reason to because boy, that man could kiss..

Kate grinned at the memory as she climbed out of bed on Monday morning..jeez, this man turned her into a pile of goo at the mere thought of his kisses!

* * *

"Morning Beckett," Espo called out as she walked into the precinct. "Good weekend?"

"Yeah not bad actually, yours?"

"Same old," he shrugged. "No new cases yet, guess we can just finish off that paperwork from the case we closed on Friday."

Kate smiled and nodded, sitting down at her desk. She glanced at the time, wondering when Castle was going to turn up. She began her paperwork and didn't have to wait long - he arrived twenty minutes later, placing a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Morning, Beckett," he said, fighting to keep the grin out of his voice. That was his girlfriend!

"Hey, Castle, thanks for the coffee."

"No problem, Detective," he smiled. God they were lucky no one else was around, they were bound to figure out something was going on right now. _Focus, Rick._

They were interrupted from their morning meeting by Ryan. "Beckett, Castle - we've got a body!" He called, heading towards the elevator.

Thirty minutes later and they were all listening to how Lanie thought he had been killed, but didn't have an ID. They found lock picks in his shoe - that was suspicious in itself, but didn't have much more to go on.

Ryan filled them in back at the precinct. "He's a thief." He put the picture if their victim up on the murder board. "Orlando Costas. Couple of domestic B&Es but suspected of a dozen more. He used to run with the Cazadores."

"Cazadores?" Castle asked.

"They're a violent street gang that deals in drugs, arms, and larsony, but all of Orlando's priors are back when he was a teenager. He hasn't been arrested in years," Ryan explained.

"Maybe he got back in the game."

"I don't know," Ryan counteracted. "He went a long way to clean up his act. Did four years, active in the military, discharged with honors last year. He spent his rotation as an MP in Germany."

"Military police? He really did clean up his act."

"If this guy went straight, then how did he end up dead in an alley? Did you check for next of kin?" Beckett asked.

"Uh, his folks are dead, but we managed to track down a girlfriend, Marisol Castañeda. Esposito's bringing her in right now," Ryan told her.

After speaking with the girlfriend, they found the car - and the victims phone.

"I know where he was coming from," Esposito announced.

"Where?"

"His last entry was 299 1st Avenue."

"Wait, what's at 299 1st Ave?" Castle asked and Beckett answered.

"Captain Montgomery's house."

* * *

Castle was worried. He'd gone home alone that evening, leaving Beckett with her thoughts. He was worried because he thought he was finally getting through to her, getting her to realise that there was more to her life than risking it trying to find tiny pieces of evidence in her moms case. But what could he do to stop her? She was a grown woman and like she had told him so many times before, she didn't _need_ protecting - didn't mean he wasn't going to try though.

He could tell the second he walked in the next morning that Beckett hadn't slept. God he hated this..he just wanted her to be safe, with him, but he knew how much she wanted this and she'd only just let him in - the last thing he wanted was to push her away now.

She refused to let the boys tell Gates that their suspect was the same person who had shot her but he agreed with the boys - he'd personally feel much better if she was off of this case, it was the entire point of the deal he's made with Montgomery's friend but he was helpless when it came to this.

He forced her to come back to his loft that evening, insisting that he wasn't leaving her alone - and she had reluctantly agreed, not that he was above kidnapping right now.

He'd just plonked her on the sofa with a glass of wine and a blanket when his cell rang - it was Smith.

* * *

**A/N: as you can see I'm sort of going down the Always route, but it's going to be a lot different because they're together now - got a couple of surprises up my sleeve! Reviews are welcome :)**

**twitter: holaitsjade | tumblr: stanaabanana**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: didn't get much of a response to the last chapter..hope it was okay and you're all still enjoying the story.**

**Please note: it has now changed to M, but it's not turning into smut! It's only a small portion of this chapter, which I shall outline if you want to skip it and it's not going to be every chapter.**

* * *

"What is it?" Kate asked, seeing the way Castle was staring at his cell. "Castle, what's wrong?"

"It's uh..Smith. You know, Montgomery's friend I told you about?" He winced at his own words, remembering how scared he'd been about telling her and how angry she'd been. They'd only just worked that out and here he was, bringing it up again.

"Oh," Kate said simply. "Well are you gonna answer it or just stare at it?"

"No, I'm gonna answer it. You uh..wanna listen?"

She was about to give him some smart ass remark about it being fairly damn obvious that she wanted to listen but she stopped herself. It had been hard for him to come clean and admit what he'd been hiding from her and the fact that he was openly asking if she wanted in on it now was massive progress.

"Yeah, if you don't mind," she smiled.

"Not a problem," he said, answering the call. "What the hell is going on? Why did they break into Montgomery's apartment?"

Smith's voice came across the speaker that Castle had turned on so that Beckett could hear too. "Oh most likely it's a clean up job. Making sure that Montgomery had nothing else incriminating in his files. As long as Beckett drops her investigation, we still hold all the cards."

Castle looked to Beckett, knowing full well Smiths words would make her angry. He held a finger up to her lips to prevent her from saying anything before he replied. "She's already on to our shooter. She's not gonna let go." Beckett was going to kill him. Talking about her as if she wasn't here, as if he was still doing all of this behind her back.

"Then we have a problem," Smith shot back. "If she doesn't stop, they _will_ retaliate. I can't control the situation if you can't control her."

Luckily Smith had hung up before Kate began her outburst. "Control me? I'm not some wild animal that needs to be tamed, Castle! Who does he think he is? Talking like that..god, why the hell did you even do this in the first place?"

"Kate, please," Castle pleaded. "Calm down-"

"Calm down! You want me to calm down? That man you've been having secret phone calls and rendezvous' with has just told you that you have to control me and you want me to be calm about it? How many times do I have to tell you that I don't _need_ anyone to protect me? I'm a homicide Detective, Castle, and a damn good one at that. I'm not some helpless woman who can't look after herself!"

"I _know_ all of that, Kate," Castle replied exasperatedly. "And I'll admit, his choice of words was not very.._suitable_ shall we say, but you have to understand I just want to protect you!" He thought they were over this, they'd had pretty much the same argument when he'd told her about Smith but here they were, rehashing it all again. "And I know you don't need or want anyone to protect but tough. I love you, Kate and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sit here and let something happen to you, not when I could have tried to prevent it."

"You're playing the 'I love you' card now?" She asked incredulously. "Seriously? Didn't think you'd ever stoop that low Castle."

"Don't you dare make me feel bad for telling you how I feel," he growled. "Yes, I'm using that card now and yes, it might be low of me, but like I said - not gonna sit here and let them get you, so you might as well deal with it."

"Deal with it?" They were both stood up now, facing each other in the sitting room as they continued their argument. "What if it was the other way round, hey? What if they were after you and I was the one making secret deals for your life? Would you be fine with me doing that, trying to protect you?"

"It's not the same _thing_, Kate-"

"The hell it's not!" She shouted back at him. "So tell me, what gives you the right to do this, listen to the words of a man neither of us know, a man who could quite easily be tricking you and making it a hell of a lot easier for this Lockwood guy? A man who could be behind my mothers murder?"

"It's not him, Beckett."

"Oh, so you know who's behind it then?" She said with a laugh, but he could tell it wasn't one born of humour. "Because unless you do, I can't see how you can know for sure that this Smith isn't behind it!"

"I just do, okay? Because I've had no reason to believe that he is doing anything other than tying to protect you. And I know you don't want to be protected, to feel like you're a burden to someone but I'd have thought even you would be grateful a complete stranger has done everything he could to help you."

Kate let out a deep sigh. She couldn't do this right now. She was angry with him and at this Smith guy and being here with him was so not helping. "I'm going home," she announced.

"The hell you are!" Castle retaliated and his tone stopped her in her tracks to the door.

"Castle, the last thing either of us needs right now is to keep going over and over this. Quite clearly we're not getting anywhere, so I think it'll be best if I just go home and we can cool off." She was proud if how reasonable she sounded, because it sure as hell wasn't how she felt. Walking the rest of the way across the loft, she reached the door and opened it, but Castle slammed it shut again before she could leave.

"You aren't going anywhere, Beckett." He said. "We have no idea who's out there waiting for you and I'll be damned if I let you leave here with that in mind!"

"_Let_ me leave? Contrary to what Smith seems to think, you don't get to control me!" Jesus Christ she was so angry right now. "Now, I'm going to go-"

She was cut off from telling him she was leaving once again by his lips pressing against hers, hard and insistent. She resisted at first, not giving him anything in return but she couldn't keep that up for long. Parting her lips slightly, she allowed him access to her mouth and he didn't waste anytime, his tongue darting in to deepen the kiss. Not being able to hold back any longer, her hands trailed up to tangle in his hair as he pushed her back against the door, pressing his hips firmly into her lower stomach.

His hands went in opposite directions, one cupping her face and the other squeezing her backside. It was hard, fast and passionate..he'd never kissed her like this before and she never wanted it to end. It was exactly what she needed, what they both needed. He lightly bit her bottom lip and she gasped, her right leg climbing his thigh to wrap around his waist, drawing him as close as possible.

He drew back a few minutes..hours..later, both of them panting hard. Resting his forehead against hers, he grinned down at her and said, "still leaving, Beckett?"

_Ass_. "You're a complete ass, Richard Castle," she growled, trying to hide her grin. Leaving? Not on her life.

"You want me anyway," he replied cockily and she slapped his arm, pushing him off of her.

"No, I'm not leaving." She walked away from the door and back into the living room. "I'm still angry, but I'm not leaving."

"Ah, if you're still angry then maybe I wasn't doing it right.." He walked back towards her but she held up a hand to stop him.

"I don't think so, stud," she warned. "Don't think that just because we're together now that you can pull stunts like that and I'll forgive you."

"We can always take it to the bedroom.." He suggested and she took a deep breath to control herself.

"No," she said firmly, going against everything her body was screaming at her. "We're going to talk this out."

"Spoilsport," he grumbled and she laughed at him.

"God you're such a child! Do you have any ice cream?"

"I um..what..?"

"Ice cream, Castle," she repeated. "Do you have any?"

"Beckett, this is me you're talking to - of course I have ice cream. But uh..not twenty minutes ago we were fighting and now you want ice cream?"

"We were fighting? Mm, I guess we were!" She said, heading over to the kitchen and he followed feeling thoroughly confused. "Oo, our first fight! Did I win?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?" If he didn't know better, he'd think he was dreaming, the only thing that let him know this wasn't a dream was that Beckett was asking for ice cream and not naked in his bed. Simple things.

"Oh shut up," she laughed. "Yes, we had a fight. I said stuff I shouldn't have and you were trying to be all manly and protective. I said I was going to leave and you convinced me otherwise and now I want ice cream. Problem?"

"No," he replied quickly. If that's what it took to make up after a fight he'd make a point of pissing her off more often. "You want ice cream, I'll get you ice cream."

"Finally," she muttered. Five minutes later and they were back on the sofa, scoops of ice cream in their bowls, Castle still wondering what the hell had just happened. "So, we could sit here and spend hours talking about what we were just fighting about but I'm kinda sick of disagreeing with you so can we just get it over with please?"

"What, so you're admitting I'm right?" Worth a shot..

"Ha, you wish," she laughed. "No, what I meant was that I think it's obvious neither of us are going to agree on this-"

"No, we're not," he agreed. "So..we're agreeing to disagree?"

"Yeah, I guess," she conceded. "Look, Castle..I know you're just trying to look out for me and I know it's because you care about me but I don't _need_ you to do that."

"Kate, I don't do it because I feel like I have to, I do it because I want to." He set his bowl on the coffee table and continued. "I have never, ever felt like this about anyone in my life. And I know you're scared but I am too..these feelings are so new to me and I guess I just want to do everything I can to make it work..make sure you're okay and that I can spend the rest of my life with you."

"Okay. So, as much as I don't feel like you need to look out for me, I've come to figure out you only do it because you care. And even though I might not like it, can we just agree to not talk about it? I'll just..pretend you're not constantly looking over my shoulder for me and you can..make it less obvious?"

"Of course, Beckett," he laughed, "if that's what you wanna do then that's what we'll do. But you need to remember why we got into that fight in the first place..Smith is right, you don't drop this and they're going to come after you."

"I know that, Castle. And maybe I'm making the biggest- one of the biggest mistakes of my life by not dropping it but please, don't you ever think I'm choosing this case over you, okay?"

"Why did you stop yourself and change what you were saying?" He asked.

She should have known he wouldn't let her slip past with that one. "Because the biggest mistake I've ever made is not telling you how I felt a hell of a lot sooner," she admitted. "But that's not the point right now. The point is that no matter how much this case means to me, how badly I want justice for my mom, I will _always_ choose you, okay?"

He was feeling confused again. "So uh..why did we have that fight if you're just going to give in?"

"I'm not giving in," she replied defiantly. "I'm not dropping this, not now. They get too close, then maybe I will. But not right now, not when I've got the biggest lead in forever. So, can you meet me in the middle?" She asked. "You want me to drop it but I don't want to. So..can I keep going but carefully? I know what's at risk at the second it goes too far I promise you I will drop it all but please, Castle, don't make me drop this when I'm so close?"

It wasn't what he wanted but it looked like it was the best he was going to get. "Okay," he relented. "We'll meet in the middle. On one condition: you don't do anything without me, okay? I'm your partner, your best friend and now I'm your boyfriend, okay? So whatever we do, we do it together."

"Deal," she smiled. "Thank you, Castle. I promise I'm not going to do anything to ruin this..us, not ever."

"Good," he replied, pulling her into a tight hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

She pulled back a few minutes later and looked up at him. "Would you mind if I uh..invited Charlie over tonight?" She asked. "It's just I know what these people are capable of and I know they're probably not above going after her if they can't get to me. I guess I'll just feel a little happier knowing she's safe."

"I was just thinking the exact same thing," he laughed. "But uh, you do know you're pretty much doing to Charlie what I've been doing to you.."

"She's my sister, it's different," Kate grumbled, knowing it wasn't and he was right.

"It's not," he said, "not at all."

"Okay, it's not. You're right and I'm wrong, happy?" She frowned at him.

"Can I get that in writing?" He joked. He'd done it again. Whenever she was trying to be mad at him, he came out with some stupid remark that made her forget about being mad at him! God he was infuriating.

"Don't push it," she warned.

"Sorry," he said but she could tell he wasn't. Damn man-child.

"I'm going to call Charlie, won't be a sec.."

Castle watched her find her cell and begin the call with a smile on his face. Yes, they'd had their first proper fight as a couple but she hadn't run, he hadn't let her. And then she'd ironed it out so quickly and simply he couldn't believe it was the same person. He wasn't going to take it for granted though, he had a feeling that the only reason she had caved was because she knew he was right - he wasn't stupid enough to think he could solve it all with some heated make out sessions when he'd really messed up.

"Charlie is staying at Ethan's," Kate announced as she came back to the couch.

"Oh. Are you okay with that?"

"I'm her sister, not her mom," Kate laughed. "I don't really have a choice. I mean, I could tell her why I'm so worried and I know she'd be here in an instant but I don't want to scare her. We've been dealing with this for a lot longer than her, I'm sure she'll be fine."

"She will be," Castle reassured. "Mother is at the Hamptons house until tomorrow afternoon and Alexis is at Paige's - they're still fretting over their graduation speeches," he added, rolling his eyes.

"Castle, she graduates from high school in two days, it's a big deal!"

"Don't remind me, you're making me feel old," he grumbled.

"Well," she whispered seductively. "Want to make the most of having the place to ourselves and prove to me that you're not old?" His eyes followed her as she planted her lips on his neck, nipping and sucking lightly as her fingers started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Beckett," he whispered to no response. "Kate," he tried again.

"Castle," she snapped. "Will you shut up and take me to bed?"

His mouth latching onto hers was the answer she got.

* * *

Rolling over and glancing at the clock, Kate saw it was just after 2 in the morning. Rolling back onto her side facing Castle, she grinned. They certainly had made use of the loft being empty, not having to worry about how much noise they - well, Kate - were making.

"Thought you said staring was creepy," Castle laughed into the darkness.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" She asked.

"Don't think so, just woke up. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Castle. Better than fine, amazing, in fact."

"Good," he replied kissing the too of her head. "Me too."

**(M RATED, FEEL FREE TO SKIP)**

"Good enough to go for round 4?" She asked cheekily.

"Oh, so that's why you're awake is it?" He teased, reaching over to pull her onto his body, her legs resting on the bed either side of his hips.

"Well it wasn't," she grinned, wiggling her hips. "But it seems like I'm not the only one ready for round four.."

"God you're perfect," he breathed out, pulling his lips down to his.

She made quick work of removing his boxers, her hand slipping down to cup him as he groaned into her mouth. "Shit, stop that Beckett," he gasped as her fingers began teasing his length. "Or this is gonna be over way too soon."

"Having trouble controlling yourself, hey?" She teased, ripping her underwear off. His hand glided up her thigh, slipping between her legs and into her heat. "Jeez you're so wet," he groaned, "you're going to be the death of me woman!"

"It's all for you, Castle." She leaned down to speak into his ear, her voice husky with arousal. She should have known it would be like this. The first time had been incredible and so had the two after that. But then, after the four years of verbal foreplay, surely this was inevitable? That they'd be perfect together.

Reaching a hand down between them, she grasped him firmly and guided him into her, gasping as his filled her so perfectly. "Fuck, Castle," she breathed into his lips, "move, goddammit!"

He did as she instructed and she cried out, the sensations so much more intense with her on top. He was so deep inside of her, her hips thrusting to meet his..mouths fused together in a heated frenzy. This wasn't going to last long, she was too desperate for him. "Castle," she gasped, "I'm not going to..oh _god_, Castle," she cried when he took a pebbled nipple into his mouth and bit down lightly. "I'm so close, Castle.."

"Already?" He laughed. "God you're insatiable!" He joked but he was close too, the feeling of having her wrapped so tightly around him was almost too much to bare.

"Now, Castle," she called out, "oh god, please.." Who was he to deny a woman what she wanted? Fusing his lips to hers again, their kiss was as sloppy as the thrusts their hips were making, both of them struggling for breath as they neared their peak. "Shit..oh oh oh..please.." Kate begged and with one deep thrust, hitting that spot inside her that drove her crazy, she lost it. She clenched around him, her screams muffled by his mouth against hers. It was enough to drive him over the edge, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he came too.

Her head rested against his shoulder as they came back to earth, trying to get their breath back. "Oh my god," Kate panted. "That was amazing.."

"That's what you said the last three times," Castle laughed. "Is this how it's going to be, you constantly saying we're topped the time before?"

If you keep that up then yes," she replied, rolling off of him and curling into his side. "Remind me again why I fought this for so long?"

"I don't know but if the sex is that good every time then I don't think I care," he said and she laughed.

"Me either. God, it's never been that good, not with anyone." She'd had sex, and quite a lot of good sex but what she had with Castle..god, that was something completely different. It was mind-blowingly incredible, she couldn't imagine ever having enough.

"Never?" He questioned and she immediately regretted saying it. He could tell by the way the she stiffened against him that she hadn't meant to give that away. "Hey, don't freeze me out. It's never been like that for me, either."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Just more proof that we're meant to be."

"You're such a sap, Castle."

"Only for you babe, only for you."

"Babe?"

"Yeah. Got a problem?"

"Nope, no problem," she grinned. _Babe_..she liked it. "Right, it's 3am..we need to sleep!"

"Well I still would have been asleep if some scorching hot brunette hadn't woken me up for sex," he grumbled.

"Shut up and go to sleep, Castle."

"Yep."

**(END OF M)**

* * *

Kate woke the next morning and stumbled bleary eyed into the shower, feeling a little sore. But in a good way..she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like this after sex..but it was so worth it.

She managed to finish her shower without Castle interrupting her which was an achievement in itself, really. When she left the bathroom, he was only just waking up.

"What?" He whined, "don't tell me I missed shower time?"

"Yep. Sorry sleepyhead, showered without you."

"Fancy getting all hot and sweaty so you have to shower again?" He asked hopefully.

"Nope, gotta get going. We need to drop by my apartment and get clean clothes before we go into the precinct."

"Spoilsport," he moaned.

"Go shower, Castle," she grinned, "and quickly!" She added as he went into the bathroom.

* * *

An hour later and they'd both showered and dropped by Kate's apartment to grab fresh clothes. They arrived at the precinct only a little later than normal, but no one seemed to notice. Esposito and Ryan weren't in yet, she could only assume they were running down a lead on her shooter. She just hoped they'd done as she'd asked and not told Gates about their case.

While Castle was getting them coffee, she quickly called Charlie, seeing if her and Ethan wanted to meet them for lunch. Charlie agreed, saying she'd ask Ethan when he was off the phone and they arranged when and where to meet. Kate hung up the call just as Castle returned with their coffees.

"What do we do now?" Castle asked as he sat in his seat next to her desk.

"Guess we wait for Espo and- hey guys," she called out as the boys exited the elevator. "You got anything?"

"Yeah," Esposito began. "We found Maddox, well where he's staying, anyway. We searched his hotel room but he wasn't there."

"We found Montgomery's wedding album, though, and there was a picture missing," Ryan added.

"So..he's probably looking for Smith," Castle said to Beckett.

"Who?" Espo and Ryan asked in unison.

"You wanna explain or should I?" Castle asked.

"You do it," Beckett said, picking up her coffee. "You know it better than me."

Half an hour later and the boys had been filled in on what Castle and Beckett knew and agreed that Maddox was probably looking for Smith too. They didn't really have much else to go on, the four of them grouping around the murder board in a desperate attempt to find something they'd missed.

* * *

"Ugh, we're getting nowhere!" Beckett said a couple of hours later, "we need Maddox!"

"We'll head back over to his hotel, see if he's been back around," Espo said.

"And we're going to go and meet Charlie and Ethan," Castle said to Beckett. "Come on, it'll all still be here when we get back."

Kate agreed, thinking a break might do them some good. "Oh we're a bit late," Kate said, checking her watch as they walked into Remy's. They were supposed to meet twenty minutes ago.

"Well it looks like Charlie is late too," Castle said, scanning the room. "Come on, let's find a table."

"Her and Ethan probably took a late shower or something," Beckett grinned. She'd definitely be teasing Charlie when she got here.

"Yeah, because Ethan's girlfriend doesn't shower without him," Castle pouted.

"Be a good boy and I'll make it up to you tonight," Kate grinned and Castle stopped acting like a child.

"I'll hold you to that, Detective," Castle grinned as they sat down to wait for Charlie and Ethan.

"I'd be worried if you didn't," Beckett muttered. "Lets get coffee, they shouldn't be too long," she decided, calling a waitress over. "Well I hope not, I'm starving!"

"Worked up an appetite last night," Castle grinned and she blushed.

He had a point though, she must have burnt a hell of a lot of calories last night. "Shut up or you don't get a repeat performance tonight."

That kept him quiet.

* * *

**A/N: woah, 4500 words - a lot longer than I planned! Hope I highlighted the M stuff well enough if you didn't want to read it! Reviews more than welcome :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: so I planned on Charlie and Ethan being late - before I saw 6x23. Anyone who's seen it will know why this is bad and if you haven't - well then maybe you shouldn't and just accept the ending of 6x22 as your 'going into hiatus' episode! Literally can't bring myself to write a post ep for it yet, so you're stuck with another update for this! **

* * *

"Where is she, Castle?" Kate asked, the worry evident in her voice. She checked her watch for what felt like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes - Charlie and Ethan were almost an hour late now, Kate was due back at the precinct any minute.

"I'm sure she's just..running late. Or forgotten," Castle reassured. "Maybe her and Ethan lost track of time.."

"Yeah..that must be it," Kate agreed unconvincingly. She didn't believe that for a second, her sister might be the complete opposite of her but even she wouldn't simply forget to turn up to lunch - they'd only arranged it that morning! "I'm going to give her a call." She picked up her cell phone from the table and dialled Charlie's number. "Straight to voicemail - something's happened!"

"Hey, Kate - calm down," Castle soothed. "I'm sure there's a simple explanation."

"Castle - she's over an hour late, she hasn't called and I have no idea were she is! Oh my god, what if we missed something when we checked out Ethan?"

"Stop," he said sternly. "I know you must be worried but she's a grown woman, call Ethan, call your dad, we'll call Alexis. _If_ no one has seen her, _then_ we can start panicking, okay?"

"You don't have to panic with me, Castle," she laughed, not missing his use of the word 'we'.

"I know she's not my sister but I care about her too, you know."

Kate smiled at him. He really was amazing, it was usually her keeping everyone calm while he ran around like a headless chicken and yet now it was the other way around. "Okay," she agreed, I'll call the precinct, get them to give me Ethan's cell number. Can you call Alexis, see if she's heard from her?

She'd spoken to Velasquez, who had pulled up Ethan's file and given her the number with no problem. She hung up with a quick thank you and dialled the new number.

"Ethan de Castro," he answered on the third ring.

"Ethan, hi," Kate breathed out - at least if Ethan was answering they hadn't disappeared completely. "It's Kate, Charlie's sister, is she there?"

"Oh Kate, hi. Uh no, she left two hours ago, said something about meeting you for lunch," he said. "Why, is she not with you?"

"No, she's not," Kate replied, feeling deflated. "We were supposed to meet about an hour ago and she isn't here and not answering her cell."

"Oh god..um, well she asked me to lunch with you guys but I couldn't make it, I've got meetings and appointments all afternoon. She came into the office with me for an hour or so but then she left to meet you.."

"Okay. Um well I'm sure she's fine but can you get her to call me if you see her? Or if you hear from her then give me a call on this number?"

"Of course and uh, can you call me if you see or hear from her, please? I mean, I know we've only been dating a few weeks but I'm pretty crazy about her.."

Charlie was a lucky girl. "Of course, thanks, Ethan."

"Any luck?" Castle asked when she cut the call off.

"No," Kate said. "I know I should stay calm but after speaking to Ethan I don't know if I can..he said Charlie went into the office with him for an hour or so earlier before leaving to meet us. Ethan couldn't make it so Charlie was coming on her own.."

"Alexis heard from her this morning, they arranged to meet for dinner, Alexis has a final English paper due and Charlie said she'd help..do you want to call your dad?"

"I don't want to worry him," Kate fretted. "I can't imagine she's with him, not without telling me she wasn't coming to lunch."

It suddenly hit Castle like a ton of bricks. "Oh god, Kate..I'm sorry I didn't realise..here I am telling to calm down and that there's a reasonable explanation when this is exactly what happened with your mom. I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," she brushed off. "I mean yeah, that's going through my head but it always does whenever someone is five minutes late. But..where is she?"

Before Castle could offer up an answer, Kate's cell rang. "Charlie?" She answered without checking the caller ID.

"Er no, it's Esposito.."

"Sorry, Espo," she sighed.

"Everything okay?"

"Just..Charlie was supposed to meet us for lunch and she hadn't showed. What have you got?"

"We've found Maddox," Espo told her. "We sat outside his hotel for a bit and we saw him head back in. We've got uniforms on all exits so he hasn't left again."

Kate took down the address and cut off the call. "Espo and Ryan have found Maddox. What if it's him, Castle? What if he's got Charlie, thinking she's me or using her as leverage to get to me?"

"Think rationally, Kate. How would he even know you had a twin sister? I'm sure she's not with him but do you want to go over with Espo and Ryan, check his room out for yourself?"

Kate nodded, picking up her phone again. "Espo," she said when he answered. "Hold up, Castle and I are coming too."

* * *

"Okay, we ready?" Kate whispered down the hall. Her, Espo, Ryan and Castle were outside Maddox's hotel room, joined by three other officers. Hotel management had given them a card, allowing them to unlock the door without having to break it down. Despite reassurances from Castle and the boys, Kate knew Maddox was behind this. It had been him trying to kill her a year ago at Montgomery's funeral and he wasn't giving up. If he couldn't have Kate, he knew taking her twin sister was the next best thing, knowing Kate would do anything to get her back.

"On my count," she said quietly. "One, two, three.." On three, she swiped the door card and burst into the room, Espo and Ryan close behind with their guns drawn too.

"NYPD, put your hands above your head!" Espo shouted into the room.

Their suspect turned slowly, hands raised above his head where they could see them. "Cole Maddox, you're under arrest," Kate said, holstering her gun and slapping the handcuffs on his wrists. She was going to make damn sure she got him for everything she could.

* * *

**A/N: so I had this chapter all planned out and then got halfway through writing it and realised I think I hate it? So I'm leaving it there for now, thought I'd let you guys read it and see what you think. More specifically: where do you want this 'Charlie gone missing' thing to go? Want a few chapters out of it or want it done and dusted quickly? I have ides for either way so your thoughts are appreciated!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: after talking to a few of you about the last chapter, I think I've realised why I didn't like it - I had it all planned out and then I went and watched the finale and just couldn't bring myself to write it anymore! So, I'm changing my mind and taking it a different way!**

**I have now planned out what is potentially the final four chapters - I really don't want this to end but I also don't want to drag it out and it end up being boring etc. It is going to have a proper ending though, I'm not leaving it like this!**

* * *

It was dark. That was her first thought. And it smelt - bad..sort of like a mixture between a sewer and vomit, definitely not pleasant. She could also sense damp..like she was in a basement or something. Her head felt heavy and fuzzy, but she forced her eyes open anyway, willing herself to focus, determined to work out where she was and how on earth she could get out of this situation.

The next thing she realised was that she was sat on a hard wooden chair, with her wrists and ankles tied with a rope to the arms and legs. Well, that certainly wasn't a good start. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkened room and she glanced around. From what she could make out, she was sat in the centre of a basement - there were no windows, just a door in the left hand corner which she presumed led up to the main building.

But why? Why was she here? The last thing she remembered was leaving Ethan's office to go and meet Kate and Rick..she'd hailed a cab - she'd been surprised to get one so quickly in the busy New York traffic..wait, that must be it - she didn't remember anything after getting into the cab, she must have been taken by whoever was driving it! That still didn't explain why, though..why would a cabbie take her hostage?

Pulling on her restraints, she soon realised she wasn't getting out of them - they'd been tied by a professional, whoever had brought her here had done this before.

Panic ripped through her, despair at not knowing where she was or why, even worse with no obvious way out. Her mouth wasn't gagged, though, but she didn't know if she dared to call out, she didn't know what was waiting on the other side of that door.

Her only hope was her sister - Kate was the best detective in the city and she was bound to know when Charlie didn't turn up for lunch that something had happened. She just had to hope Castle kept Kate calm enough to do her job - and find her.

* * *

"So, is Cole Maddox your real name?" No answer. He'd said nothing as Kate had arrested him and in interrogation now he still wasn't talking. "Do you know who I am?" She asked. They were pretty certain that this was the guy who had tried - and almost succeeded - to kill her at Montgomery's funeral last year, but he still didn't reply, didn't even move. "Let's try this - who do you work for?" It was a ridiculous question, Dick Coonan hadn't given it up so why would this guy? "Okay, you're not talking, fine. I'll just leave you to sit in here for a bit, let us know if you remember your name or something." Kate gathered up the files and walked out, heading into the observation room.

"It's him," she said to Castle. "And I know he knows who I am..god this is so frustrating!"

"Hey, don't worry, okay?" Castle reassured. "If something has happened to Charlie and it's him that's got to her then at least if he's here then he isn't hurting her, right?"

"Unless he's already-"

"Don't," Castle warned. "Don't think like that, okay? And besides, that's not his MO - it's _you_ he wants dead, not Charlie. He'd need Charlie alive to get information - and I'm pretty sure he knows if he hurts your sister then you'll go in there and put a bullet through his skull."

"What would I do without you?" Kate muttered, leaning into his chest. Luckily they were alone in there, Espo and Ryan were going through evidence from his hotel room, seeing if they could find anything.

"Have him up against the wall by his balls, I would imagine," Castle chuckled. He knew she must be worried - he was too - but he really believed what he'd told her - Maddox needed Charlie alive to get to Kate. And either Maddox was a really good actor or he knew Kate and Charlie were identical, he'd shown no surprise at seeing Beckett.

"I'm gonna give it another shot, see if he'll talk this time."

"You want me to come?" Castle asked, despite knowing the answer already. She'd asked him to stay behind the glass the last time she went in, thinking it would be better for her to question him alone. But he had to ask, he knew Beckett - if she wanted him in there this time, she wouldn't ask him, she'd wait for him to offer.

"Please," she replied quietly, surprising him. "I need someone to stop me having him against the wall by his balls."

"Come on then, let's get this scumbag."

Castle could have sworn he saw a hint of a smile gracing Maddox's lips as they walked back into the interrogation room. "We have forensic officers searching your hotel room from top to bottom, you know," Kate said lightly as they sat down opposite him. "And the second they find even circumstantial evidence, it will be enough to book you on. Maybe you should start talking."

"I have nothing to say," Maddox said. "And your officers aren't going to find anything. You may as well stop wasting your time and let me go."

Well, at least he was talking now. Before either of them could speak again, they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Esposito walked in and handed Beckett a file, which she opened, a small smile forming on her face. "So, Mr Marks, is it?" She said and even Castle saw Maddox flinch. "Oh, so you weren't expecting us to find your real identity, no? Anyway, now that we're all familiar with each other, why don't you start with telling me where the hell my sister is?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Maddox replied calmly.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about and it's not going to be long before CSU find me some proof." That was a lie - CSU should be done by now and they hadn't given her anything that proved he had Charlie, nor that he was the one who shot her and no clues as to who he was working for. "Are you sure you don't want a lawyer?"

"I don't need a lawyer because in about ten minutes time you're going to realise you have nothing to keep me on and have to let me go."

It was true, both Castle and Beckett knew that. They had nothing and he knew they couldn't keep him, not without probable cause and no evidence. "Okay, we'll play it your way," Beckett announced, a lot brighter than she felt. She gathered up the files once more and headed back towards the door, Castle just in front of her.

She stopped in her tracks as Maddox spoke once more. "You have no idea who you're going up against, Detective, but you better stop before you - or your sister gets hurt."

It was only Castle firmly grasping her wrist that stopped her charging over to him and slamming his head into the table. "We'll see about that."

"We've got to let him go," Beckett sighed to Castle, Espo and Ryan. "We've got no proof and he knows that."

"But..he practically just admitted to having Charlie!" Castle spluttered.

"He didn't admit it directly, though," Beckett said. "If I tried to keep him on that then any defence lawyer worth their dime would come back with it being because I suggested something had happened to Charlie in the first place. If I hadn't asked him..well then I could keep him, but I can't, not now."

"But you think he has Charlie?" Ryan asked.

"Pretty certain of it," Beckett nodded. "But I can't prove it." The four of them watched in disgust as two uniformed officers uncuffed Maddox and led him to the exit, the dirtbag not even bothering to hide the smirk on his face. "I'm going after him," Beckett announced.

"Uh, no you're not!" Castle counteracted and the other three turned to stare at him.

"Excuse me?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow, quite clearly expecting him to stand down and cower away from her look.

"You're not going after him!" He reiterated, standing his ground.

"And that's our cue to leave," Ryan muttered as he and Espo shuffled away. Neither of them particularly wanted to get in the middle of a Castle and Beckett fight.

"And why, may I ask," Beckett continued, "have you suddenly decided you can tell me what to do?"

"It's not like that and you know it," Castle scathed. "I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just saying that going after Maddox isn't the best idea! He's already tried to kill you once and the only reason he hasn't over the past year is because you weren't looking into it!"

"Well he already knows I'm back on the case, and he has my sister - so whether you like it or not, I'm going after him!" Beckett shot back, trying to keep her voice down so as to not draw attention from the other detectives.

"Well at least do it properly!" Castle pleaded. "Bring Gates in on it and have her send back up with you!"

"And have her throw me off the case? No, I don't think so somehow. I'm doing this and I'm doing it my way. Besides, you really think a trained killed like Maddox isn't going to spot a swat team a mile off? It's a ridiculous idea, he'd run the second he spotted us and goodness knows what would happen to Charlie! This is my sister we're talking about, Castle, you can't expect me to just sit back and wait for something to happen!"

"Please, Kate," Castle begged. "Please just think about what it is you're doing - you say you're doing this to protect Charlie but what's to say he isn't going to kill you first?" He took a deep breath before continuing. He really didn't want to use this against her but right now he had no choice. "You told me you would always choose me over your mothers case."

"Don't you dare, Castle," Beckett hissed. "Don't you dare. I meant what I said but this isn't the same thing. My sister is out there somewhere, god knows where, probably alone and quite possible hurt or injured."

"So you're changing the rules so it suits you? No change there then," he spat out before walking away from her. "Go do what you want, Beckett, it's not like I could stop you anyway."

"Castle.." She called out but he was already gone, not looking back. She was torn - choosing between her twin sister and the man who had stolen her heart was a choice she never thought she'd have to make. She meant what she'd said when she told him he would always come before her mothers case, but she still believed this was different - how could he think she'd step back and wait while her sister was missing? She had to go after Charlie and informing Gates was not an option, not if she wanted to stay on the case and keep her job.

* * *

Castle was bubbling over with anger as he exited the elevator and headed out onto the street. He knew she was worried and he knew she just wanted Charlie back safe and sound but she wasn't going the right way about it. He had watched her die in that ambulance a year ago and knowing it was the same person behind this who shot her was driving him insane, why couldn't she just listen for once in her goddamned life?

All she had to do was tell Gates what had been going on and they'd have a surveillance team on Maddox faster than you could say Nikki Heat, it wasn't rocket science! And yeah, Gates would probably pull her off the case but surely that was better than going after him alone and possibly getting herself killed trying to get to Charlie? For someone who was so intellectually smart, she was incredibly stupid sometimes, damn stubborn woman.

He hadn't been paying attention as he'd left the precinct, so caught up in his angry thoughts about Beckett. He found himself outside one of their favourite coffee shops, staring up at the sign. Deciding coffee might give him something else to think about for a while, he headed inside and ordered. It was while he was waiting for his order that the idea came to him - Beckett might not be telling Gates what was going on but there was nothing stopping him and the boys telling her. Beckett would probably shoot him the second she found out but as long as her and Charlie were okay, he didn't really care. Finalising his decision, he took his coffee and made his way back to the precinct - narrowly missing Beckett as she went on her mission to find Maddox and her sister.

* * *

After Castle left the precinct, Kate tracked Maddox's cell phone using the GPS signal and hurried into the elevator to find him before he moved on again. She was hoping he didn't think anyone would be following him and that he'd lead her straight to Charlie, but she knew there was a chance he could be onto her and lead her somewhere completely different. She had to take the chance though, just in case he was where he was keeping Charlie.

Pulling up a block away from where he was supposed to be, she walked the remaining distance and found herself outside a small apartment building, which looked to be unused. There was no doorman and the door was still open so she headed inside, still checking on her cell where the strongest signal was coming from. She was halfway up the stairs, the signal getting stronger with each step when a thought crossed her mind - he might be upstairs, but she should probably check the downstairs first, just in case. Gun drawn, she slowly made her way over the door under the stairs, thankfully finding it unlocked.

It was dark, but she had her torch with her. Shining it forward, it allowed her to see a set of stone steps, leading down to what she assumed was the basement. Following it down, checking behind her as she went, she almost cried out with relief to find Charlie in the centre of the room, tied to a chair.

"Oh thank god," Beckett breathed, rushing over to her sister. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine," Charlie gasped, her relief evident on her face. "We need to be quick, he's only going to be upstairs for a minute, he said something about taking me to DC? Who is he, Kate? The last thing I remember is hailing a cab to come and meet you and Castle for lunch and I woke up here!"

Kate quickly untied Charlie's restraints. "He's the guy who tried to kill me last year," Kate admitted. "He's after me again after this deal Castle made was broken, seems he was using you to get to me. I'm so sorry, Charlie."

"Hey, you don't need to apologise!" Charlie said. "I'm fine, okay? So let's get out of here!"

"Good luck with that," a voice sneered from the top of the stairs.

Kate drew her gun again and aimed at the shadowy figure, but he was too quick for her. He dodged her bullet before returning fire of his own - luckily Kate had managed to untie Charlie completely and the two of them could hide from him slightly. "Come on, Detective, you can do better than that!" He called and Kate aimed at him again.

"Right," she whispered to Charlie. "I'm going to go after him - when I've got him out of the way, you run out of here and call it in, okay? I should have called for back up but I was so relieved at finding you it completely slipped my mind."

"Wait," Charlie hissed back, "he's dangerous, shouldn't we wait for back up before you go after him?"

"And risk having him shoot the pair of us before I can call it in? No, it won't work, this is the only way. Take this," she handed Charlie her radio. "When you get outside, press the button on the side and tell dispatch that Kate Beckett, badge number 41319 has apprehended a suspect. Give the address and tell them back up is needed urgently, the suspect is armed, okay? Right, on my count. One, two.."

On three, Kate jumped out from where her and Charlie were hiding and shot at Maddox again. She couldn't see much, but judging from the gasp he made before backing away slightly told her she was close. She creeped up the stairs, keeping her eyes open for any movements. He reacted quicker than she thought he would and she only just flattened herself against the wall in time, his bullet landing somewhere down in the basement.

Looking up again, she saw him disappear behind a door, one she was assuming led to a staircase. She could drop it now and take Charlie outside, call for backup and have them deal with it - that's what Castle would want her to do, anyway. But she couldn't. A whole year had passed since she'd been shot and they'd had no leads for eleven months, this was her best chance of getting him and finding out who was behind her mothers murder. Satisfied that Charlie would be safe now, she followed Maddox through the doors and started climbing the stairs.

There was no sign of him until she reached the roof. He took her by suprise, grabbing her from behind. She struggled to get out of his grasp and he threw her to the ground, landing on her back with a groan. Before she even had time to work out another move, he grabbed her by the throat and pulled her up, squeezing just tight enough that she struggled to breathe. Hitting him as hard as she could, she used it to her advantage and wormed herself out of his grasp as she hit him. Falling to the ground, she desperately tried to catch her breath, seriously hoping Charlie had called for backup and they weren't far away.

"Just tell me who's behind this?" She pleaded.

"You're wasting your time, detective, you have no idea what you're up against."

"Neither do you." She lunged for him but he was so much better than her, a trained killer who had learnt the hard way how to fight. Before she knew what was happening, she was hanging off of the building by her fingertips.

"Actually, we know exactly who we're up against," Maddox said, starting down at her before walking away.

Dammit Castle was right. She should have done as he suggested, tell Gates what was going on and let them deal with it properly. Charlie would be safe and she wouldn't be hanging onto a building for dear life.

"Help!" She called out, hoping Charlie might hear her. Looking down, she almost fell right then. It was a hell of a drop and with the busy traffic a steady hum below her, Charlie wouldn't be able to hear a thing. She just hoped Maddox hadn't gone back after her. "Castle," she whispered, one hand slipping off the edge of the building. "Oh god no. Castle!" She called, a little louder this time and she could swear she heard him reply.

"Beckett! Hang on Beckett!"

"Castle? Oh god, Castle, I'm here!" She cried, fingers slipping further off the edge. "No..come on! Castle!"

"Beckett?" He called once more and her fingers slipped further. Oh god, this was it, she was going to- "Beckett!" Castle shouted, his wrist gripping hers and hauling her back up onto the building. "Oh god, Beckett!"

"Castle?" She asked, unsure it was really him.

"Yeah, it's me," he smiled. "God, you had me so worried!"

"Charlie?" She gasped.

"Is fine," Castle reassured and Kate looked over his shoulder. Charlie was stood there with Ryan and a couple of swat team members.

"How did you get here so fast?" She asked. It hadn't been that long ago that Charlie could have called it in, they couldn't have got here as quick as that..

"I uh, might have um..told Gates.." He stuttered, not meeting her eye. "She tracked Maddox and we guessed that's where you'd gone."

He did _what_? Oh she was going to kill- wait, if he hadn't told Gates, she'd probably be dead. "I guess I can let you off considering you saved my life and all," she relented.

"Thanks," he replied, grinning sheepishly.

"But uh..I thought you'd given up on me.." She said, "when you left.."

"I was angry, Beckett, but I wouldn't give up on you, I couldn't."

She really didn't deserve him, she knew that now more than ever. "Thank you, Castle."

"Always," he replied and she grinned, leaning in to kiss him, soft lips meeting in a frenzy. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past her lips and-

"Ahem," a voice interrupted. The two of the broke apart, searching for the owner of the voice - it was Gates and she didn't look happy.

"Detective Beckett, the second you get back to that precinct, I want you in my office, is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," Kate replied quietly, looking at the ground. She was in serious trouble now.

* * *

**A/N: let me know what you thought :)**


	28. Chapter 28

After her order, Gates turned on her heel and headed back downstairs, but not before throwing one more pointed glance at Beckett. Kate breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her Captain disappear - not only had she gone behind her back and essentially carried out a rescue mission with no back up, she had just been caught making out like a teenager with her boyfriend - who also happened to be her partner, one that Captain Gates really disliked. If she didn't like her job, Kate would have considered not bothering to go back to the precinct, goodness knows what Gates was going to say when she got back.

Glancing over to her partner slash boyfriend, they shared a sheepish look. Getting caught and everyone finding out about their relationship this early wasn't really the plan but the cat was out of the bag now.

"Sorry," Castle whispered, but the grin on his face suggested he was anything but.

"I don't know why you're apologising," Kate said, "I'm the one who kissed you, remember?"

"Well yeah..but if-"

"Oh shut up," Kate interrupted. "All of it comes back to me running off and acting like an idiot so I should be the one apologising."

"I'd just like to point out that you aren't actually apologising.."

"I'll make it up to you later," she grinned, shooting him a sultry glance.

"Ahem." For a moment Kate thought Gates was back but looking back over Castle's shoulder, she could see Charlie grinning like the cat who had the cream. And Ryan looked like a cross between surprised and happy, too.

"Uh sorry guys," Kate blushed. "Forgot you were there."

"Oh thanks!" Charlie said, "I've only been tied to a chair in a basement for the past few hours by some hitman who already tried to kill you!" Kate could have taken her words to be an insult but she knew Charlie was only playing.

"Keep that up and I'll tie you back to the chair myself," Kate teased.

"He uh..got- what's going on?" Esposito had come up, only to find the four of them grinning like madmen.

"Well uh.." Ryan began, "you see the thing is..um.." For some reason, he seemed to be having trouble articulating what had just happened.

"My sister finally figured out that there's one person who has been there for her no matter what," Charlie grinned but Esposito still looked confused.

"Oh for goodness sake, Espo," Beckett sighed, "what Charlie and Ryan are trying to say is that Castle and I are together now." Still nothing. "Like together, together." Esposito was still looking from one to the other, trying to read between the lines. "Oh for crying out loud," Kate muttered, before planting her lips on Castle's once again. Breaking away a few seconds later she looked back to Esposito, arms still locked around Castle's neck. "Get it now?"

"Ew." Was all Espo said. "That's like walking in on my parents making out."

"Same," Ryan piped up. "Can you like, keep the kissing to a minimum, please?"

"Oh be quiet Honeymilk," Kate mumbled. "Come on, we better get back to the precinct before Gates finds another reason to want to fire me."

"She wouldn't do that, would she?" Castle asked, eyes wide with horror.

"Wouldn't put it past her."

"Congrats, bro," Espo muttered to Castle as they made their way back to the stairs. "About time, really."

"I heard that," Kate called from her position at the front of the group.

"They've got a point though," Charlie supplied. "Trust me, if I was here the two of you would have got together a hell of a long time ago."

"Yeah, because you would have driven me to his place every second you were at mine," Kate muttered and Charlie have her a friendly punch on the arm.

"Castle," Beckett said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "You should go home with Charlie.."

"Nuh uh, not likely," Castle said, shaking his head. "I'm coming back with you whether you like it or not."

"Fine," Kate sighed. She knew when he was like this that there was no arguing with him, he could be just as stubborn as her sometimes.

"Come on other Beckett," Ryan said, "we'll give you a lift on our way back."

Charlie followed the boys to their car while Kate and Castle walked round to hers. Time to face the music.

* * *

"Well?" Gates asked. "I'm still waiting for an explanation?" She was pacing behind her desk, arms folded whilst Kate sat in the chair on the other side. Just as she had been ordered, Kate had come straight to Gates' office when they arrived back at the precinct, finding her captain already there waiting for her.

"I'm sorry," Beckett said. "I shouldn't have run off after Maddox like that, it was dangerous and I know I'm lucky it turned out the way it did." Well, Maddox had got away and Kate had been left dangling over a rooftop but no one had died, it could have been worse.

"You're damn right you're lucky!" Gates exclaimed. "Do you know the kind of hell that would have rained down on me if something had gone wrong? If your sister had been hurt because you rushed in to save the day? When I first took this job, I was told about you. How you were the one that had the highest closure rate. That you didn't stop until you had justice for the families and that you were one of the best cops in this city. And despite having no choice but to let Mr Castle continue to work with you, I saw this for myself. And yet, today you ruined everything. All you had to do was come to me and say what had happened and I would have had a swat team on him faster than you could breathe!"

"Do you not think I thought of that?" Kate argued. Well, technically she hadn't really thought of that and it had been Castle that had suggested it but she had considered it after he brought it up. She knew she was playing with fire right now, Gates was her boss and had every right to haul her into her office like this but Kate wasn't going to sit there and not defend herself. He decisions might have been wrong but they had felt right at the time. "Maddox isn't stupid, he would have spotted a swat team a mile off!"

"You were running on your emotions, Detective Beckett, not the mind of an experienced Detective! You were too personally involved in the case - he had your sister!" Beckett panicked for a moment, she thought Castle had spilled too much and let Gates know it was Maddox who had tried to kill her at Montgomery's funeral. "The right thing to do would have been to come to me and I would have helped. Answer me this; if Montgomery had still been your captain, would you have gone to him?"

Kate didn't answer. Gates had a point - she probably would have gone to Montgomery in this situation, but at the same time if Montgomery were still here, Maddox probably wouldn't have taken Charlie in the first place. Swings and roundabouts and all that. Gates, however, took her silence for an affirmative.

"Yes, just as I thought. I could, however, overlook your momentary lapse in judgement, based purely on the fact that I have first hand knowledge that you are a brilliant detective and that we all make mistakes sometimes."

"I appreciate that, Captain," Kate replied. "I know what I did was wrong and Castle tried to stop me but I was too caught up in worrying about Charlie that I ignored him."

"Yes, whatever Mr Castle may have done in the past, by coming to me today he essentially saved your life, you should be very grateful. But need I remind you of the many rules you have broken by entering into a personal relationship with your partner? It's completely unethical and I'm afraid I cannot stand for it!"

"Captain, Castle and I..we only started seeing each other recently. What you saw today..was the emotions of a difficult case teamed with almost dying. And uh, Castle isn't actually paid by the NYP-" she broke off at Gates raising an eyebrow.

"But whilst he is here, working with my detectives out of my precinct, I'm not going to allow a personal relationship!"

"Not going to allow it?" Kate repeated, her anger rising. "If today's events hadn't happened then you wouldn't have known Castle and I were even together and we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"Precisely! You were perfectly happy to lie to me about the nature of your relationship, when it directly affects your professional ability to do your job!"

"The hell it does!" Kate shouted. "Until today you had no reason to suspect anything had changed between Castle and I but now-"

"Detective Beckett I will not allow you to take that tone with me! In fact, with what you're saying you're only solidifying my point further - you have mentioned that this relationship with Mr Castle is recent, and one of the first things you do is screw up an entire investigation!"

"So..what, Castle isn't allowed back anymore?"

"If that's what it takes," Gates replied. "I cannot have my best detective making mistakes like this due to a personal relationship with her partner. And as you have so helpfully pointed out, Mr Castle is not a paid member of this team so I see no choice but to ask him to leave."

"It was me who kissed him!" Beckett explained. "I make one mistake and you punish both of us because of something I've done! You've been looking for a reason to get rid of Castle since the day you walked in here and now you only have a half-hearted one!"

"Detective Beckett I suggest you watch what you're saying," Gates warned.

"Or what? Are you going to fire me?" Beckett asked. "Don't worry about it, I resign." With her final comment, she threw down her badge and removed her gun from the holster before putting it on the desk in front of her and walking out of Gates' office without another word.

"Beckett?" Castle called as she stormed out of the office. She ignored him, grabbing her coat and heading towards the elevator. "Kate!" He called again and she could hear him running after her. He made it to the elevator just in time. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, Castle."

"And the truth?" He asked. "You're not pushing me away, Beckett, not now."

"I think I just quit my job.." Kate admitted as the elevator made it's way down through the floors. "Gates was angry. Said the reason I'd acted so irrationally today was because of my relationship with you, that I wasn't thinking straight. So I quit."

"Kate, you can't just quit your job! You love your job, you love being a detective.."

"But I'm not going to sit there and listen while she insinuates I'm not a good cop!" Kate argued. "She said the first thing I did after beginning a personal relationship with you was screwing up an entire investigation. She's wrong, she has no idea who we're dealing with here and Maddox would have got away whether you and I were together or not."

Castle didn't completely agree but he could tell Beckett wasn't in the mood for an argument now. "Come on, let's go home." Maybe she'd be thinking more clearly in the morning.

"I'm going back to my place, Castle," she sighed.

"Fine, then I'm coming with you."

They exited the elevator and she stopped, before turning to look at him. "I'm not going to get rid of you, am I?"

"See, you're learning," he grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Chinese for dinner?"

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes. They'd had the day from hell, she'd almost ruined everything by going after Maddox when Castle specifically asked her not to, she'd found Charlie safe and well - only to be almost killed in the meantime. And then, to top it all off, she'd gone and quit her job - and all Castle could think about was ordering Chinese for dinner.

"Yeah, Castle," she laughed, "Chinese sounds great."

* * *

**A/N: originally there was going to be two more chapters after this, but I've changed my mind, I'm keeping it going for a bit longer. As always, thoughts appreciated :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: sorry for the week long silence, I had some time off work and went away for a few days so had no chance to update! But I'm back and I'll try and update a few times this week!**

**PS: there is a little bit of M rated-ness in this chapter, but it got pretty smutty so I put it in a separate story! If you want the heavy stuff, it's under "Seeing Stars", check it out and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Beckett's apartment was empty when her and Castle got back, no sign of Charlie. Kate was worried slightly - nothing was out of place and there was no sign of a break in, but she thought Ryan and Esposito were dropping Charlie back here..

"Hey Beckett," Castle called from the kitchen. "There's a note.."

Beckett walked over to the kitchen to join him, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw the note Castle was pushing in front of her.

'_Kate_' it read, _'I really hope you read this before you panic but you didn't answer your phone so I left you a note. I'm fine, I'm going to Ethan's..sort of just wanted to see him after the hell of the day we've had! And before you go all protective on me, Ethan is coming to pick me up and I will be double checking it's him before I open the door, okay? I'll see you later xxx'_

There was an addition underneath in different handwriting, presumably from Ethan.

'_Charlie is fine, I'm not letting her out of my sight and I'll bring her back whenever she wants to come home, Ethan.'_

"So uh, I guess this means we have the place to ourselves," Kate said, glancing up at Castle.

"So it seems," Castle replied. "But..you just quit your job, Kate, don't you wanna relax, take a bath and I'll order some dinner?"

"Castle, I quit my job like an hour ago, the last thing I want to do is talk about it, not tonight." She sidled closer to him, firmly pressing her body flush to his, wrapping her arms around his neck. "What I want to do, is take you to my bedroom and remember how amazing it feels when you do that thing with your tongue." Before he could comprehend what she was saying, her lips had attached to his neck and were sucking and biting lightly, driving him insane.

"Kate," he gasped, pulling her away from him. "Wait a sec." Taking a few deep breaths, he regained some semblance of control. "Can I tell you something first?"

Beckett rolled her eyes, damn writer boy always wanting to talk when she needed him to shut up. "Okay, Castle, spit it out," she sighed. "Don't even go there," she added when his eyebrows rose at her double entendre.

"You asked for it," he muttered. "Okay so um..wow this is harder than I thought given that I'm sure you already know and I think I might have said it once or twice but- what are you doing?"

"Taking your clothes off," Beckett hummed, continuing to unbutton his shirt.

"No, Beckett, stop!" He said, stilling her hands with his. "Just give me a minute, okay? What I'm trying to say is that I love you."

Beckett's expression softened, her hands falling from his shirt to cup his face. Leaning in, she kissed him softly before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Castle asked, sounding a little bit hurt. He didn't need her to say it back, not yet, not if she wasn't ready but he needed her to know and a little recognition of his words would have been nice.

"Castle," she whispered, turning round to face him. "I.."

"Oh god," he said quickly. "No, I didn't mean you had to say that, oh god no! Just..something.."

Kate visibly relaxed and Castle felt like a jerk for making her think he needed her to say it. "I heard you, Castle," she smiled shyly. "And yeah, you've told me before but this is the first time since we've actually been together so I guess that makes it the first."

"Good," he said firmly, "just wanted to make sure you knew and..yeah." Then another thought hit him. "You're not doing.._this_ just because you don't want to say it, right?" He asked, gesturing around to the bedroom.

"If you remember correctly, I was trying to get to _this_ before you interrupted me," she giggled. Jesus he could actually make Kate Beckett giggle.. "So no, I'm not doing this because I don't want to say it but if you want to stop.."

"Don't you dare," he growled, pushing her back against her bedroom wall.

"I'm sorry, Castle, that I can't say it yet and trust me, it worries me every single day that it's not going to be enough for you, that you're going to want more and that you _deserve_ more but-"

"Stop it," he whispered into her ear, teeth nibbling on her ear lobe. "You don't have to say it, not if you don't want to. And as for not being enough for me..babe, you're all I've ever wanted and now that I've got you I never intend to let you go."

There it was, that 'babe' again. Beckett grinned, she actually really liked it when he called her that. "So..if I can't tell you then maybe I can show you?" She said, fingers going back to their previous task of unbuttoning his shirt.

"Sounds good to me," Castle agreed, capturing her lips with his.

**M RATED, SKIP IF YOU WISH**

Pushing them both away from the wall, Beckett grabbed Castle's hand and led him over to the bed, finally removing his shirt and beginning to unbuckle his jeans.

"How come I'm nearly naked and you're fully dressed," Castle mumbled into her lips as he stepped out of his jeans.

"You're too slow," Beckett gasped. "Get a move on," she teased, palming him through his boxers.

"Keep that up and I'm going to be in no fit state to get you naked." Dragging her hand away before she went too far, Castle lifted her shirt over her head while she unbuttoned and removed her pants, leaving her stood in just her bra and panties.

Dragging them both to the bed, Castle pushed her onto her back and straddled her hips, his lips touching every inch that he could, her breathy pants and gasps spurring him on. "Hurry _up_, Castle," she groaned, inching her hand past the band of his boxers.

"Babe," he breathed out, desperately trying to control himself. "We can go slow.."

Beckett rolled her eyes, hand slipping further into his pants and wrapping around his hardening length. "Next time, Castle," she promised. His insistence that they could go slow, that they could make love and take the time to please each other was fucking adorable but right now, it wasn't what she wanted. "Right now, slow is the last thing I want."

Her words broke the dam, Castle growled into her ear, grabbing both if her wrists and pinning them above her head. "So that's what you want, is it?" Jesus Christ he loved her. All he wanted was to make this good for her, going slow..he loved it, with her, drawing out her pleasure and making her beg for more but getting to do the complete opposite was almost enough to make him lose it before they'd even started.

"Yes," Beckett gasped, arching her back when his mouth latched onto her nipple through her bra. "Castle.." She whined, "that's not quick enough!"

"You're so impatient," he laughed, fumbling at her back and removing her bra.

"Only with you," she grumbled and she knew it was true..there was something about them that made her desperate for him, she needed him and she needed him now.

He didn't wait for her to say anymore, instead pushing her onto her back and covering her body with his, guiding himself into her wetness. They gasped in unison, the sensation of him filling her so perfectly driving them both to the top.

"Come on," Beckett urged, wrapping her legs around his waist and urging him deeper. "Harder, Castle."

Castle groaned and picked up the pace, thrusting in and out..pulling out and slamming all the way back in had Beckett panting and begging, obviously able to come again, despite the two earth shattering orgasms he'd just given her.

Pounding her into the mattress harder than he thought possible, Castle knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer, his need for her too much. "I'm nearly there, Beckett," he groaned into her ear.

"Kate," she gasped, "call me Kate."

Castle grinned. The fact that she told him exactly what she wanted in bed was a massive turn on, well, the woman herself was a turn on but this was the icing on the cake. "Kate," he whispered, "I love you, Kate." The tightening around him began, his words exactly what she needed to fall apart again. He'd never get enough of that, the fact that his words could do that to her.. "Kate," he gasped again, "oh Kate I love you.."

Her legs tightened around his waist, nails digging into his back..and she reached her peak, muscles contracting around his length as she came again, words garbled as they flew out of her mouth, all he could work out was his name but that did it for him. With a final few thrusts, he spilled into her on a groan that sounded something like her name, his release washing over him in waves.

**END OF M RATED**

"You okay?" He asked a few moments later, pulling back to look at her.

"Okay?" She laughed. "Castle, I'm amazing." How he could doubt that she was okay was ridiculous. "_You_ are amazing." She was going to have to stop feeding his ego if she ever wanted him to shut up about it.

"So many compliments, Beckett," he grinned, "you sure you're okay?"

"Shut up," she laughed, pushing him off of her. "Wait, are you okay?"

"Yes, Beckett, I'm fine. A bit hungry, but otherwise perfectly happy."

"Wanna go get some food? We never did order Chinese.."

"Yeah, I got distracted by this girl I know," he mused, "you'd like her, I think."

"Mm, what's she like?"

"Smart. Funny. Hot, oh yeah she's _really_ hot.."

"Now who's paying lots of compliments," she smiled. "Come on, you're gonna have to feed me if you wanna go again."

She wasn't sure if it was the Chinese they were going to order or the promise of more sex, but he followed her out of bed, heading into the bathroom. Deciding against her clothes from earlier, Beckett dug out an oversized t-shirt from her drawer and slipped on a clean pair of panties.

"Is that my shirt?" Castle asked, coming back out of the bathroom.

"No, yours is- oh, wait..yeah, I think it is," she admitted, looking down at what she was wearing. "I uh..guess I never gave it back to you." She was wearing the red shirt he'd lent her over two years ago, when she'd been staying with him after her apartment was blown up.

"I forgot about that," he said, "but I looks better on you."

"Thanks, Castle," she laughed. He pulled on his jeans and decided against a shirt, following her out of her bedroom. He almost walked into her, not paying attention when she suddenly stopped.

"Why did you- oh." He looked over her shoulder and saw that Charlie was home - and judging by the look on both hers and Ethan's faces, they'd been home a while.

"Wondered when you two were going to come out," Charlie smirked.

"How long have you been home?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"Not that long but uh, we sort of figured what you were doing, didn't want to disturb you."

Kate groaned and buried her face into Castle's chest, but he seemed to be finding the whole thing funny. "Just think," he said, "if we'd been at mine it would have been my mother or my daughter.."

"That's true," Beckett perked up, "at least Charlie let us finish." Talking about sex with Charlie wasn't a problem but Kate was actively trying not to look at Ethan. Although she was sure he knew exactly what they'd been doing, she didn't need to confirm it with him, for his sake. She was also suddenly very away of the fact that she had no pants on and Castle was shirtless. "We were about to order Chinese if you want to join us," Kate said, "I guess we should probably put some clothes on first.."

"Don't mind me," Ethan supplied, "this is your home, I'm the guest here."

To be fair, Kate's shirt was longer than some of the dresses she wore..

"Chinese sounds great," Charlie added, still smiling like a fool. "You staying for dinner babe?" She asked Ethan.

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

"Fine with us," Kate said, knowing Castle wouldn't mind. "Charlie, help me make drinks while the guys figure out what to order."

When the girls were alone in the kitchen, Kate turned to Charlie. "Okay so how much did you really hear? Because I don't think I can face your boyfriend knowing he heard Castle and I.."

"Relax, Kate," Charlie laughed, "we've not been back long. When we figured what you were doing, we..kept ourselves busy. But uh..sounds like Castle knows what he's doing in there," she grinned.

"Oh don't get me started," Kate groaned. She still wasn't over that. "Trust me, Charlie, you have no idea the things that man can do."

"I want all the details later," Charlie said. "And honestly, don't worry about Ethan, he was probably better about it than I was - think it kinda got him a bit-"

"Okay we can stop right there," Kate said. Despite what they'd overheard, she didn't really need to hear about Ethan's fantasies.

"One day you'll let me tell you," Charlie said, "and I'm telling you it'll be worth it."

Beckett rolled her eyes and finished making everybody drinks, Charlie helping her carry them into the lounge. "You boys decided what to order yet?" She asked, curling up into her boyfriend.

"Just about," Ethan said, "Rick said you'd be happy with whatever and I know Charlie will too.."

"Fine by me," Kate said, "I'm not fussy."

"Just demanding," Castle murmured, just loud enough for her to hear. Kate blushed - which didn't go unnoticed by Charlie, who grinned knowingly.

After the food was ordered, the four of them sat back and relaxed - Kate realising she hadn't told Charlie what had happened after she'd left. She re-told the story of how she'd quit and she wasn't surprised when Charlie said it was the right thing to do.

"I've only met her like twice and I don't like her," Charlie said. "How did you manage so long working with her?"

"No choice," Beckett shrugged. "Not like we had a say in who replaced Montgomery."

Their food arrived, causing Castle and Ethan to argue over who was paying - to Kate's surprise, Castle actually backed down and compromised for once, agreeing to split it.

"They do know that either of us could have paid too, right," Charlie said in a stage-whisper to Kate.

"Never happening," Castle and Ethan said simultaneously.

The girls laughed and Kate handed out plates, the four of them sitting in the lounge to eat. "Thank you," Kate whispered to Castle. "I know you like to be all alpha-male and pay for things and I know I give you a hard time about not letting me pay but letting Ethan pay half was nice."

"He's like me," Castle shrugged, "maybe it's old fashioned but I was brought up to be a gentleman, I guess Ethan was too."

"Not too much of a gentleman I hope," she whispered back with a wink and Castle grinned.

"Yeah, I don't think I could have waited to marry you to get you into bed," he shot back and Kate felt her heart flutter inside her chest. Marriage? Before she met Castle, the idea would have repulsed her but now..now she could quite easily imagine marrying him and having little Castle babies.. Grinning to herself at the thought, she piled food onto her plate and joined back into the conversation with the others.

* * *

"So," Charlie said once they'd all finished eating. "What happens now? You didn't get Maddox, so I'm guessing he's still out there..do we hide until we know what's going on?"

Kate had to admit she hadn't really thought about it. "No..we just need to be careful. I'm hoping he's learnt his lesson now, going after my sister was not a good idea and I don't think he'll do it again. But you need to be on the lookout, just in case."

"And you're not going anywhere alone," Ethan added, to which Charlie rolled her eyes.

"Annoying when they go all macho, isn't it," Kate grinned. "But he's right, just because Maddox probably isn't going to go after you, doesn't mean he won't."

"Okay okay," Charlie relented, "I won't go out alone. Can I at least shower alone?" She asked sarcastically.

"No," Ethan replied with a grin and Castle laughed.

"Hey, they're just like us!" He said to Kate.

"Nah, we aren't as sickening as you two," Charlie said, poking her tongue out.

"Shut up, little sister," Kate retaliated, "or you don't get ice cream."

Castle and Ethan looked at each other in confusion. "But..you're twins?" Castle said.

"But I'm older. By two minutes and 47 seconds," Kate announced proudly.

"And she's lorded that over me since we were two years old," Charlie groaned. "Whenever I annoyed her, she'd pull the big sister act. Drives me insane!"

The other three laughed, Charlie even cracked a smile. "So," she said, "if we're not hiding, what is the next step?"

To Kate, the answer was simple. "We find the son of a bitch who kill our mom."

* * *

**A/N: so yeah, the _really_ M rated stuff is in a separate chapter, but the story is the same if you don't want to read it! Reviews more than welcome :)**

**twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: A couple of people have mentioned not receiving emails when I post a new chapter - I'm not sure why, if you're following it then you should be notified when I update but if you're not then I'm sorry, but it's not me :( **

**Thank you for your reviews so far :)**

* * *

"Oo, that'll be Charlie and Ethan, you want to get it, Beckett?" Castle asked, looking across the kitchen bench to her.

Beckett recovered from the shock quickly enough and headed over to the front door with a smile. They were having a family dinner - Charlie, Ethan, Martha and Alexis, as well as Jim, were joining Castle and Beckett to celebrate finally getting together. It had been Castle's idea, obviously, but seeing how happy it made him was enough for Beckett to agree, she couldn't say no when he got all cute and excited.

"Hey guys," she grinned as she answered the door. "Come on in." She opened the door wider to let them in, giving her sister a quick hug.

"We brought a bottle," Ethan said, "um..shall I give it.." He suddenly looked slightly uncomfortable, as if he didn't really know what to do with the wine.

Castle seemed to have cottoned on to his discomfort from over in the kitchen. "You can give it to Kate," he called, and Beckett could hear the grin in his voice. "And ignore her if she tells you she doesn't actually live here."

"I _don't_ live here," Beckett whispered, rolling her eyes, but taking the wine from Ethan anyway.

"Well I knew that, but I didn't want you to think I was being rude by not giving the bottle to you but giving it to Rick," Ethan explained with a laugh.

"I don't know though, Kate," Charlie interrupted with a grin on her face. "That's the second time you've answered the door here now."

"Oh shut up, Charlotte," Kate muttered back, "or I'll be moving in just to get away from you."

Castle grinned to himself - Kate hadn't been quite as quiet as she had hoped, he'd heard her little comment about moving in. He had been wanting to ask her, but at the same time he didn't want to scare her away. Since they'd got together, they'd spent pretty much every night with each other anyway, but he knew she'd refuse saying it was too quick. Four years of foreplay hardly counted as too quick, in his opinion but he knew Kate Beckett, knew he needed to tread carefully to keep her on side.

"Can I get you guys a drink?" He offered, choosing not to let Kate know he'd overheard. As he was busying himself with making drinks, the front door opened again and his mother and daughter entered, just Jim to arrive now and they were all set.

* * *

"So," Jim began, "to what do we owe the pleasure of a meal here tonight?" He had just arrived and Beckett had cornered him with Castle before Charlie got the chance to ruin the surprise.

"Well dad," Kate said nervously, "I actually need to tell you something.."

"Oh Katie, are you pregnant?" Her father asked and she could have sworn she saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"No dad, of course I'm not pregnant!" She exclaimed, her cheeks flaming. Castle chuckled and she hit him in the side, getting him to shut up. "Why on earth would you think I was pregnant?"

"Well..you're not drinking for a start and I know it's not because of me..and when you said you had something to tell me, that was where my mind went.."

"Right, well no, I'm not pregnant," she confirmed categorically.

"I think what Beckett was trying to say is that _we_ have something to tell you," Castle suggested. "You see, Beckett and I..we're together now." He looked at her with a smile, seeing a look of pure lust in her eyes that made him want to throw everyone out and have his wicked way with her.

"I..oh, that's fantastic!" Jim beamed, "I'm so happy for you both!"

"Thanks, dad," Kate smiled. She couldn't remember being this happy; her sister was home for good and she'd found herself an amazing boyfriend. Her father was ecstatic to have his two daughters back together again and she was in love with the most brilliant man. What more could she want? "It's fairly recent but uh..the guys at the precinct found out the other week and I didn't want to tell you over the phone so I waited until tonight."

"Oh that's fine, sweetie, whenever you were ready! And are you sure you're not pregnant?"

Oh sweet Jesus. "No dad, I am one hundred percent certain that I'm not pregnant, okay? Why the sudden interest anyway?"

"Oh well, Mark that I work with, his daughter has just had a baby and you should see him, Katie, he's the most adorable little thing and it got me thinking about when you were going to give me some little grandchildren, I'm not getting any younger you know!"

"I think you've got a few years left in you yet," Kate replied drily. "Anyway, why are you pestering me to give you grandchildren - you do have another daughter, remember?"

"But Charlotte has always been so..flighty. I always envisioned you having children before her," Jim mused. "But whenever you two are ready, just don't leave it too long!" He laughed, walking away to join the rest of the group.

"Sorry about that," Kate groaned, burying her face in Castle's neck. "I didn't think he'd say anything like that.."

"Don't worry about it," Castle laughed, "I'm sure he's getting to that stage where he wants grandchildren..you know, I'm up for it if you are?"

"Not funny, Castle," Beckett scolded, poking him in the chest before turning and walking back into the living room.

"Who said I was joking?" Castle muttered, and he knew from the glare Kate gave him that she had heard. He noted that she didn't say anything though, that was interesting..

* * *

"I still can't believe you've quit your job, Kate," Charlie brought up over the main course. "Doesn't seem right my sister not being a cop."

"Tell me about it," Kate smiled. She was starting to miss it a little, it had been nearly two weeks since she'd resigned and the novelty was starting to wear off. Castle had been amazing and not pressed her to make any decisions about her future, which she was extremely grateful for. It wasn't that she thought she'd made the wrong decision, she still stood by what she'd done and wouldn't change it even if she could, but she was wondering what to do next. She didn't know how to be anything but a cop and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to be anything else.

"How's the new book coming along, dad," Alexis interjected, swiftly changing the subject. She had sensed Kate's discomfort at talking about her job and helped out a little. Kate shot her a grateful smile and looked to Castle for his answer.

"Oh not too bad," he waved off, "it's getting there." It wasn't, really. He'd been too busy spending every free moment with Beckett while they could, only actually writing when he couldn't sleep. He didn't blame her, it was him that came up with the ideas of what they should do while she wasn't working, but he really did need to get writing soon or Gina would be on the warpath again. Looking up, he saw the other members of the table were engrossed in conversation, so took the chance to have a quiet word with his girlfriend.

"Espo and Ryan have been calling me, you know," he said lightly. "They're harassing me to convince you to come back to the 12th."

"I know," Beckett grinned and Castle looked shocked. "Oh come on, Castle," she laughed. "I might have quit my job but I'm still a detective. You think I didn't hear you on the phone to them the other morning?"

"I thought you were asleep," Castle muttered, looking slightly offended that he had been caught out.

"Well maybe you should check harder next time," Beckett teased. "I quit for a reason, Castle, I'm not throwing all of that back in just so I can go back."

"Far too stubborn for that," she heard him mutter but he was saved by Alexis asking what they had for dessert.

Beckett helped clear away the table and brought fresh plates out behind Castle with the dessert, not missing Charlie's smirk. "Looking very at home, aren't you sis," she teased.

Kate was about to retaliate with a smart ass comment but Castle got in first. "Good," he said, "I want her to feel at home, she spends just as much time here as I do and I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable!" He looked to Beckett before turning back to the table. "I'm working on getting her to move in," he said in a stage whisper.

First giving her father grandchildren and now moving in - was he trying to kill her? "You better start putting the toilet seat down then," she shot back to laughs from the rest of the table. Castle didn't miss her almost-agreement though and he couldn't help but lean in and plant a kiss on her lips.

"I'll start using a different bathroom if it means you'll move in," he whispered.

"I'll think about it, Castle," Beckett promised, which seemed to be good enough for him. Moving in? Wow that was quick! Or was it? She knew how his brain worked, to him they'd practically been in a relationship since the day he started following her around at work, it would only feel natural to him to ask her to move in less than a month after they got together. She'd bring it up with Charlie later, but she already had a feeling Charlie would be packing Kate's things when they got home.

Charlie and Ethan left not long after dinner, heading out to meet some of Ethan's friends for drinks. Jim and Martha stayed for coffee, before both leaving too - Jim heading back home and Martha to goodness knows where, Castle didn't want to ask.

"You are staying tonight, right?" Castle asked Beckett, suddenly looking very anxious.

"If you want me?" She replied. She had clothes here, Castle had made space in his wardrobe for some of her things, just made it easier, they didn't have to go back to Beckett's apartment just to get a change of clothes that way.

"I always want you, Kate, always," Castle murmured, pulling her into a tight hug.

"And that's my cue to leave," Alexis laughed. "I'm heading over to Paige's dad, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You're not going because of me, are you?" Kate asked in a panicked tone. The last thing she wanted was to push Alexis out of her own home. "I can go back to my place if it makes you-"

"No, Beckett," Alexis interrupted. "Paige's parents are away for a few days so I said I'd go and keep her company. But you never have to worry about that, as long as the two of you keep it in the...bedroom when I'm here."

"Too much, Pumpkin," Castle shouted, clamping his hands over his ears. "I'll see you tomorrow, have fun with Paige." He was still talking far too loudly.

"See you later, Alexis," Kate smiled, still laughing at Castle. "Hey, you wanna go shopping soon? I need a new pair of shoes and I wondered if you wanted to join me?"

"Sounds perfect," Alexis grinned, "can't wait."

"How many pairs of shoes do you need," Castle grumbled.

"No such thing as too many shoes, dad," Alexis told him. "Bye guys!"

"That was nice, inviting Alexis out like that," Castle said. "She likes you, you know, you don't have to take her out shopping."

"I want to," Kate defended. "She's been so amazing to me and about us, and I like spending time with her, she's a great kid."

"I love you," Castle blurted out. Well, how could he not? Not only was she great with Alexis when they were both here together, she actually wanted to spend time with her without him as well.

"I know you do," Kate said softly. She felt the same but now wasn't the right time. She had no freaking idea what she was waiting for, but she knew she'd know when the time was right to tell him.

"And of course I want you to stay," he reminded her, "wouldn't have suggested you move in otherwise." He grinned at her and she couldn't help but smile back. "But I'll shut up about it now, I'm still a little bit in shock that you didn't flat out refuse, not going to make things worse!"

"I really will think about it," Beckett said, "just give me a day or two."

"I can do that," Castle agreed. "What can we do in the meantime though?"

"You could start by taking me to bed.." Beckett suggested seductively and he beamed at her. Perfect damn woman.

* * *

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